Final day in the Bay Area

I have just returned home.

This morning was spent in Redwood City, San Bruno, and Pacifica, as I tried to walk through Sarah's steps as she left high school and went on to college. As I visited these places, it felt as if Sarah was walking alongside me, asking me to listen to her story and take notes so that I can tell it to the world. These are the places I've been writing about in my current novel class - a class that's been very frustrating for me.

The afternoon was spent driving back to Los Angeles, after a lunch at San Francisco's Japantown.

Here are the pictures.


I first headed for the state superior court, located in Redwood City. This is where Sarah petitioned for her name to be officially changed from Sanford, in 1995, as soon as she turned 18.


Sarah would've gone through these doors to get her business done. With today being a holiday, this was as far as I could follow her steps.

Look at the door closely, and you can see my reflection, complete with my new favorite outfit (white semi-sheer minidress peeking through the jacket, footless tights).


Sarah said that it was a bit uncomfortable walking this path to the law library, dressed in her own tights and mini. But she was grateful to be in that outfit at all, instead of boys' cargo pants. She also described the lovely smell and colors of the flowers; indeed, flowers were blooming on my visit today. Though I felt a bit chilly this morning, unlike Sarah.


Here is the law library across the street from the courthouse. This is where Sarah figured out how to do the legal name change paperwork. She may not have been an honor student in high school, but like most transwomen, she is one smart girl.


My next destination this morning was Skyline College, where I expect Sarah to get a 2-year degree (I still need to think of the details here). Here is the admissions office at Building 2, where Sarah brought her mother for some help and advice.


Skyline is very small as far as community colleges go. Sarah's mother would've remarked something about that too, as she strolled the campus with Sarah.

This is Building 8, with foreign language departments; Sarah could refine her French and German skills here in an official academic setting (or add another language, like Spanish). Right now, this building is closed for a 1-year renovation, but that wouldn't have been the case back in 1995.


Here's Building 1 with social science departments, where Sarah may have found a few classes as well.


My next stop: Oceana High School, which I previously visited, but did not fully explore. Oceana looked pretty gloomy today, just like last time. It was quite windy and chilly too, but fortunately the winds were not strong enough to make my dress fly up again.


Here is one corner I missed the last time: the student parking lot. When Sarah (then Sanford) entered senior year, her mother bought a new car - Ford Contour (partly because I own one too) - and let Sarah use it often, including for coming to school. I might have the jocks taunt Sanford here too, and even threaten to vandalize the new car.


Here is the football field. Now that I've written the graduation day scene, I could picture the graduates and loved ones gathered here. I could almost hear the valedictorian's speech. The valedictorian, Sharon, was a very popular cheerleader, and someone Sanford wanted to emulate, but couldn't, due to a male identity and body.


Here is the hallway. It's surprisingly bright and vibrant, a huge contrast from the rest of the run-down campus. How would Sanford have felt, walking this hallway as an outcast boy?


I previously took the picture of the "Boys Team Room" as the place where Sanford would've been attacked and scarred by Alberto and Roger, two popular jocks, in junior year. But that would be for athletes only. This locker room, connected to the gym, would make more sense as the place of attack. In any case, Sanford would've been unable to come to school for a week.

In front of this is a courtyard with a world map drawn on it. No new pictures, since I had taken a picture of it the last time around. I did want to do one thing though; I wanted to draw in two airplanes over the Korean Peninsula, an F-86 for Sarah's grandfather (a Korean War vet) and a 777 for Sarah herself (a flight attendant).


I found this church near the school. Since the United Church of Christ is a progressive denomination that is accepting of LGBTs, I wonder if this church may have use as a setting for my novel, where Sarah's parents get support and acceptance.

This is it!

More Bay Area

Another hectic day here in the Bay Area.

I don't have too many pictures to show for the troubles today. I spent all morning in San Francisco's Mission District to attend the annual Carnaval SF parade, where cultures of various Latin American (and even a bit of Asian) countries were showcased. Congresswoman Barbara Lee, who represents Berkeley and is very pro-peace, was the Grand Marshal today.

I later visited the Charles Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa, then my former lair in Concord, before stopping by in Berkeley, hoping to attend a transgender support group. When I learned that tonight's group was going to be more "genderqueer" than Sarah or myself, and when I decided that the long weekend would result in low turnouts, I came straight back to the hotel.

I was wearing a semi-sheer white minidress, with white T-shirt and black footless tights underneath for coverage. (The footless look is very trendy right now too, on the streets of San Francisco.) The strong winds in the hotel area caused my dress to fly up - and me to flash the entire parking lot! Good thing I didn't go commando today - no need to advertise my pre-operative status to the world. Aside from that mishap, I really enjoyed this outfit - more than I ever thought I could. I think this will be one of the "casual yet hyper-feminine" outfits Kirsten will wear on her weekends (I still want her to be an oddball when it comes to fashion), and will again wear it tomorrow as I make the final visits to the novel sites. (There will be a lot more pictures tomorrow too.)

And speaking of Kirsten, I got to see plenty of modern apartments on College Avenue and MLK Blvd. in Berkeley, that would make great homes for her. Like me, Kirsten hates beat-up old apartments, and she hates having roommates. I'll have to come up with a plausible address for her.


Here is one of the floats from the Carnaval today. Nicaragua was one of the many nationalities represented (alongside the likes of Colombia, Guatemala, and Bolivia). But Sarah will be fully aware of the severe transphobia in Nicaragua, and a sight like this will give her the chills.

This being a San Francisco parade, there *was* indeed an LGBT contingent marching. Interestingly, they were sandwiched between Korean drummers and Jamaican dancers - and Jamaicans are notorious homophobes, and Koreans are not exactly gay friendly either.


I took this picture of the bay and the Golden Gate, from one of the numerous hillside mini-parks above Berkeley. Sarah and Kirsten, out on a date, would have enjoyed views like this.

Again, I hope for lots of pictures tomorrow - from Sarah's high school, college, and the courthouse.

Photos

Here are some photos I just took today, which pertain to Perfect Girl.


From my hotel, I can see Sarah's home base - United Airlines' San Francisco hub. The hangar is prominent, and I can even spot some planes at the terminals, though United's gray paint job on its planes washes out right into the buildings.


Kirsten came here, the Downtown Berkeley BART station, to commute to her Financial District job every day. Today, I was here, in one of Kirsten's trademark miniskirt suits.


After a lunch in Berkeley, I returned to San Francisco, where this homophobic pastor greeted tourists at the cable car terminal on Market Street. Sarah and Kirsten will be incensed by homophobes like this, especially in ethnic communities.


Just down Market Street is this enormous rainbow flag, which anchors the Castro District, the gayest neighborhood of San Francisco - or any US city. Castro is home to San Francisco's Gay Center, which becomes Sarah's next employer when she is laid off from United.


In Castro, even the trash bins have rainbow flags on them. Sarah, as a proud baby dyke, will love this.


In contrast to the pastor at the cable car terminal, this church proclaims the "all-inclusive love" of Christ. Although I have left the Christian faith, I am planning on Sarah becoming a liberal Christian, and attending a Unitarian congregation in Berkeley (where she meets Kirsten).

I expect to have more pictures tomorrow, as I expect to return to Berkeley late in the day.

Just arrived

I am at my Bay Area base, Hilton Garden Inn near San Francisco's airport.

I started the drive a bit early, but it still took me a long time to make the drive up from Los Angeles.

I now have 2 1/2 days to do things that are novel-related, and else. I'll try to shake off all the negative energy that has built up this past month.

Photos will be shared with this blog and my main blog, as appropriate.

This weekend

I've been quiet on this blog lately. I've been concentrating on the writing itself as the class progresses, but after a harrowing experience at the beginning of the month, I'm feeling a bit exhausted.

Fortunately, this weekend will be my long-planned trip to the Bay Area. My novel-related activities will include a repeat visit to the Oceana High School campus, as well as a visit to nearby Skyline College, where Sarah gets a 2-year degree. I will also finally get to walk the streets of Berkeley and Oakland, where Sarah's personal life unfolds - and she falls in love with Kirsten. Since Kirsten is really my alter ego, my presence in Berkeley is the closest thing there is to making her real.

I decided to scrub my plans to visit transgender nightclubs, due to the sleaze factor. However, I will most likely visit a Sunday night support group in Berkeley.

The rest of the (non-novel-related) plan, including visits to Sonoma Valley and Santa Rosa as well as my former Concord hangouts, will go as planned.

This will be a very rejuvenating trip, I hope.

Current Status

Although the crisis of the past weekend is no longer endangering me, it has taken its toll.

In the midst of the crisis, I rushed through my novel installment and turned it in for the class. It was, yes, rushed, and it shows. I am getting pretty negative feedback at this time from classmates. My brain is fried, and it won't be able to crank out anything that reads like a novel for a while; all I can write are something akin to an instructional video.

My ability to read and comment on others' work is quite impaired as well.

I will stay on and finish the novel class that I am currently taking, but I don't expect to get much out of it, given how shaken I am. I think I will need to retake the class in the future, when I am in a better mood and situation.

As for activities outside the virtual classroom, I am too shaken to watch United 93 at this time. I may never be ready to deal with the hatred of the Muslim world, and the ineptitude of the W regime, that the movie deals with. The Muslims and the W regime not only killed Martha, they may be slowly killing my soul as well.

I will go ahead with my trip to the San Francisco area for Memorial Day weekend. Hopefully, walking in Sarah and Kirsten's footsteps will rejuvenate me. If that doesn't help, I will need a sabbatical from writing the novel, and that won't be a fun thought, since I started work on Perfect Girl to have an outlet for my anger and issues in the first place.

I do have to say that the writing bug is still biting me. In addition to Perfect Girl, I also have agreed to write a story about myself for a Seattle-based LGBT organization, so that they can use it (and other transgender people's stories) as basis for a play. I am also sitting on a short memoir that I wrote last fall - a special memoir, because much of the ground work was done on the road, in DC and Seoul. I have decided that if I ever finish Perfect Girl, I will immediately work on another transgender story in some form, using these pieces as raw material. The protagonist, unlike Sarah, will be an immigrant from a Third World country, and will need to deal with the homophobia of her native culture AND the struggle to fit into America. Although I am in no mood to develop this at this time, I know for sure that this will be far less posh than Perfect Girl; the protagonist certainly will have neither the family acceptance nor the high-benefit unionized corporate job that Sarah has.

The worst seems over

At least, I am in a situation where I can continue the class and my writing.

I have explained the situation to my instructor and classmates, and am glad that I can move past the nightmare of the past 48 hours.

Novel work halted

Due to death threats being made against me by my ex-family, I am no longer able to work on my novel in peace.

Don't expect anything to pick up until my ex-family apologizes, or I get a new place and a new job. Currently, I am homeless, jobless, and family-less, and that's about as devastating as anything gets.

I may even have to drop my current writing class, if things don't improve soon. There are more important things than writing a novel.

I am hiding in a safe place away from the madness, but that's all I can say about my whereabouts at this time.