Perfect Girl, a Novel in Progress

Sex Advice from Flight Attendants

2011-01-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

Life had gotten out of hand for me (including a trip to Hawaii on Sarah's airline!) and novel has been sitting on back burner. But to start 2011 off, I was given this link via a friend on Facebook:

Nerve.com

Quite an interesting read. The most important bit of advice is that as flight attendants are adventurous by nature, they have interesting takes on sex life. (Second most important: the "mile high club" is grossly overrated.)

I had some ideas though. I've envisioned Sarah as being unable to let herself free on sexual topics, at least to start off, due to gender confusion and anatomy issues. My longstanding plan was to let Sarah continue to resist her own desires and feelings, even through the relationship with coworker Martha, at least until Martha is tragically killed. The relationship with Kirsten would be the time when Sarah starts to be a sexual being to at least some extent. In fact, having Kirsten help out with Sarah's sexual self-discovery will be a key component to Sarah's story.

But now that I think about it, I think Kirsten's own sexual self-discovery, which I had never given much thought to, will need to be elaborated upon. For Kirsten, growing up in the Bible Belt was not conducive to being honest about one's sexual drive, even had she been heterosexual. I don't think Kirsten would have been able to have a quality relationship even after her move to California, until Sarah. It may be the shared frustration that makes the unlikely pairing happen. Just as Kirsten helps Sarah discover her sexual side, it may as well be Sarah who helps Kirsten discover her own sexual tendencies. And now I need to start figuring out those tendencies - I know some details about Sarah's but don't really have much when it comes to Kirsten's.

(One thought: Kirsten may have a uniform fetish, which may draw her to uniformed people, including, of course, Sarah. And of course, Kirsten most likely has a thing for redheads.)

Another thought is that since Kirsten had been quite suppressed sexually, despite her strong lesbian identity she may have never had experience with female anatomy. Most likely she may have had a few sexual experiences with men, probably in high school or early college, which she would not have enjoyed at all. Sarah would be her first and only quality relationship, and even then, given Sarah's pre-operative anatomy, it would not be until Sarah is post-op that Kirsten actually finds herself doing "muff diving." And to be honest, the push for Sarah's surgery would come as strongly from Kirsten's desire for a "red carpet treatment" as it would come from Sarah's own strong discomfort with her large male anatomy.

A piece of writing from Sarah

2010-10-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm writing another Sarah-Kirsten joint interview, but as I do so, I want to post an exercise I had written for a class two years ago. This was done for a class on writing for social change, done online with my longtime mentor Gayle Brandeis. In this exercise, I imagined pre-operative Sarah, in an all-woman retreat, sitting naked and talking about her body image as a transwoman. If it were me in a similar situation, my response would be pretty similar. I don't expect this to ever be done in the presence of men, however - I don't need to stoke anyone's shemale porn fantasies.

Here I am – my body in all its glory.

Notice the cacophony of my male bits against the otherwise feminine silhouette of my body. Yes, I am a transwoman. Yes, I am pre-operative. But no, I refuse to be ashamed of myself for having the so-called wrong genitals.

What others call a penis, I call it my “big clit.” After all, it does everything that a clitoris ought to do – namely, feel sexual arousal and get erect. It came from the very tissues that would have become a clitoris, had I followed typical female development. It does bother me when my big clit bulges under my skinny jeans or tights, but it’s still a part of me. I don’t understand why men make such a big deal out of their penises, when really, all they have is just the larger version of what women also have.

When the time comes for me to go under the knife, I will thank my big clit one more time. My soon-to-be-opened vagina will be formed using that very clit. They call it “penile inversion vaginoplasty” for a reason. Like what it says, most of my big clit will be inverted to form the inside of my vagina. The rest of it will become my new, smaller, but much more sensitive clitoris. And ironically, the bigger my clit is, the easier it is to make the vagina. I’m actually glad that my clit is really big.

And the sac below, you will call it the scrotum. I call it my future labia. It will indeed become my lips, when that vagina opens up. Too bad, the balls in them will have to go. They were once ovarian tissue and should have become ovaries, but a cruel trick of biochemistry turned them into testicles that have done me no good, except to hurt badly on occasion and to give me several years of unwanted boyhood.

But even those testicles are a part of me. I know that I will never be able to give birth, even when the vagina opens up. I want a kid, but the cruel trick of biochemistry says I can only have one as its father. Tomorrow, I will put these testicles to good use at the sperm bank, so that my wife Kirsten will one day have a beautiful child for me.

Again, you may see a penis and two testicles between my legs. But as far as I am concerned, I see the beginnings of full womanhood, even in those most masculine of my body parts. And just as my male bits will help make up my future life as a complete woman, I will continue to carry on the best qualities of my past male life, and be proud of them, even as I carry on into a fulfilling life of a woman.

Sapphites, Let's Fly Together

2010-10-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

Now that United and Continental are officially one airline at the corporate level, the inflight safety video, which Sarah plays for all her passengers at the beginning of every flight, reflects it.

Here is the latest edition of the safety video for United 777s - with an introduction from Jeff Smisek, CEO of Continental who has now taken over as the CEO of the combined United.

Continental used to have major problems with LGBT employees in the 1990s. I hope it learns a lesson from United in LGBT-friendliness. In return, Continental can surely teach United a thing or two about taking a cut-rate airline and turning it into the best in business and one employees can be proud to call home.

Happy flying, Sarah!

Getting the creative juice to flow

2010-10-06T23:51:00.000-07:00

I like to talk about Sarah's and Kirsten's music tastes quite a bit. Sarah really identifies with her idol, Sarah McLachlan. Likewise, Kirsten feels a very strong affinity to Mariah Carey. Both affinities are a reflection of my own, especially in the case of Mariah Carey, with whom I even managed to meet.

But my own music taste is a wee bit more complicated than that, and the past two weeks have been a very good reminder of that.

Anna Nalick and I met on August 9th, 2006.

Anna Nalick and I met again - September 21st, 2010.

I would meet her one week and two weeks later as well.

Anna Nalick emerged as a strong favorite of mine around 2005, as her debut single, "Breathe (2AM)," started playing everywhere - first on Sirius Satellite Radio, then terrestrial radio, and even on TV programs. When the song became a popular telephone ringtone, it was proof that she arrived. The reason why she really hooked me in was because of a very peculiar, brilliant style of lyric writing that she employed - no resorting to any fancy words or techniques, but profound when read as a whole. It didn't hurt that unlike my other favorite artists, who are at least 6 years older than me if not much older, Anna is actually 8 years younger, yet wrote in a very grown-up way.

As the photos above attest, I ended up meeting with Anna in 2006 for an autograph. And I was very disappointed when Anna disappeared without much of a warning in 2008. As it turned out there was an issue with her record label that had caused her second album to be scrapped. In any case, Anna went back in action in August 2010, and I made sure to attend three shows out of her four-show Hollywood residency in September and yesterday. It wasn't just the old hits I was enjoying - as it turned out, I liked the new numbers, to be included in her next album, even more.

One reason why I feel an affinity to Anna is because of her origins in Glendora - only a few minutes from where I am right now. Though if I look back to my own teenage years in Arcadia, I feel that there are even more parallels. Both Arcadia and Glendora are located on the old Route 66, and as far as Southern California suburbia goes, both communities are quite old (certainly much older than my current one). Both are affluent upper-middle-class communities that are quite quiet and not exactly exciting. Both were whites-only in the sad days of California's own segregation, but ironically because of that, have attracted well-to-do Asians in recent decades. (Though I have to say, Glendora hasn't turned all that much Asian, while Arcadia has become REALLY Asian especially after I left.) When I read about stories coming out of Anna's experiences in her grade school and high school years, it often feels like what happened in Arcadia back in my day - the vibe is similar enough that the inspirations that powered her songwriting were just as well present for me, and she sounds a lot like many white girls in my high school that I never got to know back in the day. With this added factor, I can feel an extra degree of affinity to her music in ways I would never feel with, say, an R&B artist from Compton or Harlem, as much as I try to appreciate R&B in general. Or a teen growing up in Halifax (Sarah Mac) or Long Island (Mariah Carey).

It doesn't hurt that I continue to keep in touch with Anna via her Facebook fanpage, where she actually spends time exchanging ideas with her fans (and hopefully draws ideas for future songs). That way I really have insights into her creative processes.

As much as I discouraged myself from developing a creative side in my teenage years, I want to think about it. There may be hidden gems of memory from my own high school years that I need to tap into - especially in terms of how those memories helped form who I am today. There were some negatives, as in my refusal to eat bagels even today after being force-fed them in my teenage years because that was all my folks could afford. There were some positives, such as learning to really cherish every moment of my summer New York visits and motivating myself to go to New York for college out of that. (It also explains one key reason why I idolized Mariah Carey - and the way Anna Nalick talks about idolizing certain favorite artists of her own and rewriting lyrics to their songs, I can totally identify.) And the way I craft Sarah's story grounds itself heavily to my own experiences growing up - even down to Sarah's fashion sense and the cars she drives. I need to put all these pieces together into a coherent story, and more importantly, see what kinds of creative spark Sarah may get. (I see Sarah as more of a gamer/aviation geek, but still.) Who knows, Sarah herself may have a few angst-ridden teenage poems lying around somewhere... Of course, minor adjustments will need to be made to account for Sarah's origins in the San Francisco Bay Area, but I don't see issues with that. Kirsten's upbringing as a mixed-race lesbian in Alabama will be much tougher for me, however. Though I may consider doing the "Kirsten rewrite" versions of Mariah Carey's key hits.

On a lighter note, I notice that one element of Anna Nalick's comeback is her appearance makeover, and as much as I had loved her natural dark brown hair, I love her even more as a redhead. Yes, my penchant for redheads, which was an acquired taste thanks to me making Sarah a redhead (primarily so that she would be bullied more often and severely), is at work here. However, honestly I want to keep Anna as my own Music Muse (incidentally one of her newest compositions), and not really share the gift of her music with my characters (though they may occasionally enjoy "Breathe (2AM)") - I do want Sarah and Kirsten to have their own sets of favorite artists and a fairly good reason for why they love each, and they already share more than a few favorites with me already (Melissa Etheridge would be a good example). What I do know is that the way Sarah enjoys Sarah Mac, and the way Kirsten enjoys Mariah, will largely mirror the way I enjoy Anna (though most likely minus the in-person interactions).

It'll be fun getting Sarah's creative juices flowing and giving her a complex, realistic taste in pop music.

Some ideas

2010-10-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

A few new ideas came about thanks to discussions with Gil Gillon, AKA the Wandering Gentile, who commented on my previous post. As he is my Facebook friend we had some messages and comments happen on Facebook.

Thanks to him, I am changing the circumstances of Martha's murder. She will still be murdered in New York City, in order to highlight Mayor Rudia Giuliani's transphobia. However, instead of having Sarah hear something at home in San Francisco, I will expect her to hear the news in Chicago on her layover. And just as she tries to get to New York, 9/11 happens and all flights are shut down. She will be forced to scramble for a rental car - Gil's suggestion for a contemporary rental car would be the Oldsmobile Alero (he is extremely knowledgeable about cars) - and driving nonstop to New York, would try to tune in to a news station, most likely WINS 1010, for any updates. I expect Sarah to boil over with anger and hatred at all the murderers, be they the hijackers or Martha's killers, as she drives east - and I expect some of that anger to show in her driving. And as she would be an underage driver, she may find getting a car even more difficult.

I am sticking to using United rather than a fictional airline, however, for good reasons. At least Gil's suggestion for a fictional airline's name was something appropriate: Lambda.

Speaking of Sarah's employer, the United-Continental merger is finalized, and the new United branding will indeed be that of Continental, except for a new sans-serif font being chosen for the "UNITED" titles. I don't know how Sarah will feel about this, as the tulip is such an iconic symbol of United (and a Sapphic symbol for Sarah), but it will be inconsequential as the storyline will be over by the time the merger actually is reality.

Airline image

2010-09-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

An article I just read - the Yin and Yang of Airline Identity, at Ask the Pilot:

Part 1
Part 2

Sarah takes a huge pride in working for United Airlines, but it's always good to ask how effective the airline's branding is in portraying the history and service of the airline and projecting that pride. The author is not too convinced about the current United branding, except for the tulip, which had been a generic design to start but has come to be the definitive symbol of United (and shaped like a U, does represent the airline's name).

The author is also very enamored of United's longtime slogan, "Fly the Friendly Skies," even though it was officially retired in 1997. But the slogan was so effective that unofficially it is still used by some flight attendants in their announcements. Of course, I am more likely to utter it as "Fly the LESBIAN-friendly skies" in a nod to Sarah's lesbian pride and all the lesbian vibe I had gotten on United flights over the years (especially on the otherwise dreadful trip to Amsterdam in 1999).

The article also argues that other simple yet effective airline branding include the Pan Am globe (1950s to the airline's folding in 1991), the Japan Airlines crane (1960-2002), the Lufthansa crane (1910s to current), and the Aeroflot hammer and sickle (1940s to today). It is also partial to the 1989-2002 Northwest logo (pointing northwest, and simultaneously an N and a W) as well. Also good are airline names that incorporate a quirkiness of its home base; one example cited is Royal Dutch Airlines, or Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij - shortened to KLM. The article's favorite current tagline appears to be "Excellence in Flight" used by Korean Air.

Of course there are plenty of bad branding examples out there, cited in the article as well.

Considering that air travel has the potential to bring distant peoples together, and that I am trying to take that mentality straight into Sarah and her work, looking into how various airlines actually convey that spirit in their branding and public image is a very important part of the process.

Future writing ideas

2010-08-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

While Perfect Girl remains stalled (though I now have some new ideas to work off of, and that will lead somewhere once I actually work them), I am at a point where I have some new ideas floating around my head, that will not only give Sarah a new lease on life, but also start some new projects.

I've always held interest in current events, and I've considered myself an idealist. And I've always taken note of the fact that the current neoliberal/libertarian teabagging movement promises maximum freedom and minimum government intervention - but ends up taking more freedom away instead. There is a strong parallel to communism, which had promised a classless, equal society but ended up with even more of a class society instead. I'm not very enamored of either ideology, while I acknowledge how great each looks on paper.

That's just led me to a very rough idea of a storyline as follows:

The protagonist, in mid-20th Century in some nondescript country, is an idealist thinker who quickly rises up the ranks of the nascent communist revolution. Once the revolution succeeds and the Communist Party takes power, she becomes the key advisor to the head of state, and ends up crafting the key pillars of the Party and national ideology, in an effort to bring maximum equality and prosperity to the people. But when some of her ideas toward that end, including limited market reforms, get her branded a heretic by the Party, she eventually abandons her revolution, defects to the West, and becomes an outspoken and influential neoliberal thinker. She will now sing the praises of the free market, in an effort to maximize freedom and prosperity for the people. But eventually, she will be betrayed by her new neoliberal bosses for ideological impurity, just like from her old Communist bosses, and she will probably move to a third country where she can truly continue working for justice for the people while disassociating herself with ideologies.

At this time, it's a very rough idea. And I don't want to really work on this until I have Sarah's life story largely finished.

One thing I do know is that my new protagonist will have to be gay, if closeted. She will have to deal with her Communist bosses, who think homosexuality is an import from the decadent, permissive Western capitalists, as well as her later neoliberal bosses, who consider gays to be socialist scum who infringe on the people's religious freedoms. This will certainly deliver a huge additional boost to the sense of alienation she feels from both movements she had strongly identified herself with and devoted herself to.

My preliminary preference is to start the story in a fictional Eastern Bloc country, then move it to Reagan-era US; it will make the most sense, and research will be quite easy too. The key challenge, however, will be to concoct a plausible Eastern Bloc society and decide on its ethnicity and language. When rejected by the neoliberals, the protagonist may stay in the US but relocate to a saner state, or she may choose to relocate to Canada.

An alternate approach - especially if/when my next Seoul stint is well underway - will be to use the two Koreas as the setting; however, in that case, thanks to the Confucian misogyny making female leaders implausible, the protagonist will have to be male, to eventually identify as a gay man or a transwoman, and I'll have to portray the two Korean societies in ways that will be more understandable for the average Western reader. (At least I can simply use actual North Korean system and personalities in this case, rather than inventing a whole new country.) The timeframe can also be pushed a bit later; the protagonist can observe North Korea's 1990s famines, then arrive in South Korea around 2000 and help out with the conservative resurgence of 2007. Eventual ending may take within South Korea or in Western Europe or Canada; the US, which the protagonist should visit a few times, will be ruled out, with Korean-American McCarthyism being a key factor in the decision.

Let me see what I can make out of this. And hopefully the sense of idealism and dedication can be translated into Sarah's mindset as well - and her passengers will be all the better off for it. More importantly, the whole story arc for Sarah, not just Sarah's personality and work, will need to carry that mindset as well.

For Sarah's reference...

2010-08-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

Just came across this - a history of United Airlines logos, from the four predecessor airlines who united in 1931 (hence the name United) to today.

I spotted this pictorial history at a Facebook group that is asking to save the United tulip, as current proposals will have the United name slapped onto the Continental globe logo and livery when the two airlines merge.

I am partial to the tulip because of all the flying I've done on United planes over the years. But even more importantly, the tulip is yet another lesbian double-entendre for me, since it sounds like "two lips."

With so many lesbian connotations I attach to Sarah's employer for one reason or another, I actually wonder how I actually had first envisioned Sarah to be hopelessly boycrazy. Of course, that never worked out anyway, which is why I turned Sarah into a lesbian, and her traits started to make far more sense (not to mention I could give Kirsten, my alter ego and a hardcore lesbian, a much more significant role as Sarah's girlfriend and wife).

One group member also comments that the United name is meant to be written using sans-serif fonts; that is definitely evident in the above logos. The only serif font was the Century used in the 1993 logo, which proved to be very dreadful, especially combined with the Battleship Gray livery introduced at the same time; the Century was retired in favor of retro blocky font only four years later, but the Battleship Gray livery continued to be used until 2004, and some United planes still sport the badly faded Battleship Gray paint job. This is yet another argument the group uses against the Continental branding, as its font is serif as well.

My own "My Life with the Lincolns" moment...

2010-08-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

Of course, My Life with the Lincolns was my most recent read, and a book written by my longtime mentor Gayle Brandeis. The narrator of the story, 12-year-old Wilhelmina Edelman ("Mina"), fancies her family to be a reincarnation of the Lincoln family, due to her father's initials being ABE. (Turns out that Gayle's own father had AIB as his initials - and she felt the same way about him as a child.) And when toward the end of the book, Mina and her father visit the Lincoln house in Springfield and eventually the family grave, Mina feels that she is meeting her previous life - Willie Lincoln, who died at age 11 - face-to-face.

I actually had the same feeling today. Turns out that my paternal grandmother in South Korea, who had passed away three months short of my birth, recently had to have her grave moved due to zoning changes. (I did know from a visit to her cemetery in late 2008 that the cemetery was slated for closure very soon.) Today, I received some photos, dated October 2009, from the move, including final shots of her old grave, the exhumed remains, and the photos of the new grave.

I do feel that my grandmother may as well have been a past life of myself; after all, looking at her photos taken in her 60s (she died at age 70), she has a trademark family look, especially in her eyes, that I notice in my own photos, and had pink miniskirts existed during her younger days, she may have looked strikingly similar to me. I also know that she was a forward-thinking progressive, who attended a boarding school in Shanghai at a time when women were supposed to not even learn how to read, and who converted to Christianity due to it being the religion of modernity and progress. (Ironically, I am leaving her religion, in search of my own progress and modernity.) I also do know that she brought a very holistic approach to Christianity, as unlike most Korean Christians, she practiced it in the multifaith coexistence mentality of traditional Korean society, and kept extremely good relations with neighborhood Buddhist monks and even had Confucian and Buddhist ceremonies done for her family. (Also why my father and his family would continue to take an extended family trip together to Buddhist temples, such as Jikjisa, a stop on my 2008 Korean road trip.)

As I saw the photo of the opened old grave, with my grandmother's bones lying inside, as well as the next photo showing her bones cleaned and neatly arranged, it seemed like she was speaking to me in a way - about my past life. I do know that she was patting my mom's belly when she was pregnant with me, hoping to witness my birth but never quite making it. I do feel that her pioneering, forward-thinking spirit was passed on to me as she passed - and as her remains saw the light of day for the first time in over 33 years, it seemed that my past has risen out of the ground it had been buried in, and wants to speak to my present so that I can take it into the future.

It appears that I will go ahead with my return visit to South Korea very soon - but the exact format/purpose of the trip may change dramatically. Once there, I will make sure to visit the new grave, make this spiritual connection with my grandmother, and push ahead with my own life the way my grandmother had done during the treacherous years involving exodus from the North and the wartime poverty.

Back to Gayle, I attended another reading of hers tonight - but this time it dealt with her other new novel, Delta Girls, which I am currently working on. She shared some more tricks of the trade; while she had discussed her Korean cultural immersion during her work on The Book of Dead Birds, this time she also mentioned that the cultural immersion included listening to Korean-language conversations and getting the cadence and rhythm right, to somehow reflect into her sentences. Pleasant-sounding cadence and sentences is something I tend not to think about too much, but it does make a book more readable - and mixing up sentence lengths was done in Delta Girls for a similar effect. Another trick worth thinking about is grabbing some unusual, outrageous details from a given subject (such as all the wacky worm names used by fruit pickers in the Sacramento River Delta farms) to grab the reader's attention; for me and Sarah, the key may be using technical aviation lingo and/or terminology specific to United Airlines (such as "2P" to indicate Premier elite frequent flier level). (And speaking of flight attendants, Gayle tells me that her teenage daughter Hannah is thinking of becoming one for a few years, for the experience.)

Always glad to be able to pick up tips and hints from a trusted mentor. Now let me see if I can write a scene or two that brings out Sarah's essence (perhaps she works a practice flight to Denver, where she is surprised with a flight simulator session). Or something that brings the past and present together - like the Mina-Willie connection (or my connection to my grandmother's remains). Perhaps Sarah, despite hating being Sanford, does feel a kinship to her great-grandfather Sanford; Sarah may visit Great-Grandpa Sanford's tomb when she is on an England layover, and this may also better explain why when Sarah and Kirsten have their biological child from Sarah's saved sperm, the child, a son, will again be named Sanford.

On another hand...

2010-08-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

While I am rediscovering the joy of reading, I still found time to return to simulated airline business, for another look at Sarah's industry. I had left it a year ago after my airline, Mercy Airlines (invoking the name of Kwan Yin), was targeted by an airline alliance made up of Thai kathoeys with too much time on their hands, and couldn't compete.

In fact, I am running two airlines in two different worlds. One is a rehash of Mercy, though it is now based in Shenzhen, China; I founded it in January 1969, now it's December 1969, and I'm keeping it low-key, hoping to last until the game end in 1983. The name was changed to Kwun Yam, the Cantonese pronunciation of Kwan Yin. I'm giving it a very conservative approach, running mostly readily available, slightly obsolete secondhand aircraft, but to keep commonality up and costs down, I am very particular about the aircraft I choose (I currently fly only two - Caravelle 10B, a mix of new and used, and Vickers Viscount 810, all used). Since international runs from Shenzhen are not very lucrative and the nicer Chinese markets (Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou) are out of available flight slots, I am forced to be very creative to keep up. My key is to keep my staff morale up - I am slightly overhiring flight attendants to ensure superior service (Sarah will love the sound of that).

The second game, which had started in 1986 and runs through the end of 2009, was tougher; I had gone into Chicago in 1996, only to find no flight slots, and wasted time and money relocating to Vancouver, before going bankrupt. Soon afterwards, I re-founded the airline in Athens, a rehash of Air Athena, though I renamed the airline to Eresia, in honor of Sappho (yes, now I have a lesbian airline!). Eresia also had hiccups at the start, but cobbling together a fleet of Dash 8-300s helped, as they are quite profitable especially on the Greek domestic island hops. It's been around for a few months in 1997, and I'm slowly amassing money to acquire more Dash 8's as well as another fleet of readily available secondhand Fokker 100s for a bit more profit. I'll worry about long-haul planes only when I have enough profits to afford them.

In both games, I am not looking for a dominant airline that flies everywhere in the world, but rather, a sustainable modest airline that delivers the greatest possible experience for the passenger. Also, rule changes during my absence make the game more to my liking; predatory alliance attacks on other airlines, and deliberate oversupply of a route by over twice the demand, are now prohibited. Moreover, I can only fly direct to/from my hub, all intermediate stops being allowed only for refueling, and I can make secondary hubs but only in my own country (or only within the European Union in case of Eresia); that means I no longer have to worry about unfair sneak invasions from foreign airlines, an issue I constantly had had when operating Mercy out of Seoul as Chinese and Japanese airlines were dumping tons of capacity into my cash-cow routes to Europe and North America then. For Kwun Yam, I should soon be able to open a second hub that has a good mix of domestic and foreign demand - and hopefully once a major Beijing or Shanghai-based competitor falters, swoop right in.

Hopefully I will have some extra lessons from these new games.

On a more Sarah-related note, the Caravelle will be of significance to Sarah. An earlier Caravelle, the VI-R, was the first jet-powered aircraft in the world to come with features that are commonplace today - thrust reversers and wing spoilers. And the launch customer of the Caravelle VI-R was none other than Sarah's employer, United Airlines. That gave United yet one more in a long series of aircraft launches, while Caravelle became the first European airliner to see significant use in the US. One more thing for Sarah to take pride in!

Reading therapy

2010-08-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

I will admit this - while I had been known as a bookworm during my childhood, that completely melted away during my teenage years, as the pressure of honors/AP English classes and literary analysis really built up. Reading was dreadful rather than fun, and even when I did read books, I often kept to nonfiction books discussing my favorite topics (science, sociopolitical issues, etc.) rather than anything fictional or literary. Sure, objectively speaking, leaving ESL in one year, and jumping to honors English in just another year, was an unheard-of accomplishment, but that was never enough for the people around me who were determined to send me to Harvard against my own goals/wishes. (Sure, I did end up at Columbia, another Ivy, but that was not so good for bragging rights.)

I continued to avoid reading even as I've been working on my own story to tell - the story of Sarah. That's NOT good. If I ever read, that would've more likely been a nonfiction book on airplanes or computers or some other topic of interest to Sarah.

But it appears that I am finally discovering the joy of reading! My nerves are extremely frayed at work, as I am trying to close out a few projects and wind my business down. But I've now started using downtime to start reading a few novels - and I found that being engrossed in the world of the novel's characters was actually the best way to distract myself from work and current events! Moreover, reading works of fiction is always a good thing, as I can observe some techniques used by the author and take inspirations that can be of use in my own writing.

Last week's read was My Life with the Lincolns, the first young adult novel from my (longtime) mentor Gayle Brandeis. This week it's another new novel from her - Delta Girls. One reason why I enjoy reading her is because of her emphasis on social justice. Of course, it doesn't hurt that she is a mentor I've worked with for years, and that I have better insights into her thought processes (and she's more than happy to elaborate if I have questions) than I would with an author I don't know. But if having such a mentor as a friend is the key to let me rediscover the joy of reading in general, and improve my own writing as a result, then that may be the best thing to come out of having a mentor! In fact, I am attending some of Gayle's public book reading sessions, to get further insights into how she came up with the concepts and the storylines, and what kinds of research she did; this past weekend was my first time seeing her in over two years in fact!

Hoping to get to know a few more authors and their works while at it. That also means I will need to get my hands on a copy of Dorothy's Girl, from my Facebook friend Margaret Bengtson, as soon as I can - since the concept of that book is very similar to the way I am crafting Sarah's story.

New layout - and new trans links

2010-07-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

With Blogger's new layout templates, including the ability to have ten permanent static pages in addition to the blog itself, I have been giving this blog a makeover.

And with the newer friends in the trans community I have made, it is imperative that I provide a link to them and to follow their own endeavors.

I have added a link to Chaz Bono, the son of Cher and the late Sonny Bono. His initial coming out actually had me bummed, as I had loved his former identity Chastity as a lesbian pride icon, but I am starting to really appreciate the work he is putting into the trans community.

Tara Avery is a talented comic artist, who will be presenting at the San Diego ComiCon this weekend. She has been a good friend of mine for over a year now, and I am proud to have been her matchmaker - after I introduced her to my church friend Stephanie Ballard, the two are now in a relationship. Although her blog is badly outdated, her comic samples are current.

Finally, I need to give a shout-out to a fellow trans novelist, Margaret Bengtson. She initially had wanted to write a memoir of her experiences, but seeing that there are plenty of trans memoirs out there already, she decided to change some details and turn the story into fiction, entitled Dorothy's Boy. This is the same idea that drove me to settle into writing Sarah's memoir rather than my own. I have yet to read her works, but will have to do so before long - and look forward to it.

Fashion and Beauty

2010-07-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

Looking at those 1960s fashion statements in Queens at Heart had me thinking a bit on fashion, especially since I am always hunting for that next great "lesbian fashion statement," and while I have defined some peculiarities of Sarah's fashion sense, I can always define it in even more detail.

Trusty Wikipedia comes to the rescue again. The 1960s fashions are a great historical reference, but won't be relevant to me or Sarah, unless they involve styles, such as plaid miniskirts, that get revived in the 1980s, 1990s, or later.

The 1980s fashions are not too relevant, as neither Sarah nor I actually get to wear them as contemporaries. But again, revival of specific trends will be the key. More importantly, both she and I are old enough to remember certain 1980s trends, and regret that we were unable to wear them then. Some specific thoughts:

Sarah probably won't care too much for shoulder pads, since her shoulders are prominent as is already.
Headbands are a lovely touch - though whether Sarah gets to sport them or not, even as a retro look, will heavily depend on what kind of a hairline she has. Too masculine or high a hairline, then forget headbands.
Dancewear trend, immortalized in Flashdance, will be the key. Sarah absolutely loves her leggings, but I am not so sure about her penchant for leg warmers. Though due to the male anatomy, it will be a challenge for Sarah to wear some of the dancewear looks for a while.
Preppy style may not be Sarah's favorite, as that may have been the clothing she was forced to wear as a young boy. I also need to look into the difference between American and British interpretations of the preppy, as Sarah's childhood is in London rather than in the US.
Opaque tights (perhaps the ribbed kind) should play a key role in Sarah's wardrobe - even in those preppy boy clothes, she may have worn them under shorts, and nowadays she will also substitute them for leggings.
Tracksuits were a key trend especially in the UK. Sarah may have some memories that may predispose her for/against tracksuits.

On to the 1990s, the era of the Rachel haircut, and when Sarah and I were both coming of age - and developing our own fashion statements at last.

Some key 1960s-1970s colors, like brown, were revived in the late 1990s. My first outfits were brown, but I don't know if Sarah can make brown work out on her paler skin tone, red hair, and green eyes.
Pants became wide-legged again, in a repeat of 1940s and 1970s. This is a trend I was slow to embrace, but Sarah might make good use of it, though it is probably not her signature look. Toward the turn of the millennium, waistlines started to go down.
Leggings went even more viral in the early 1990s, outselling jeans. Instead of dancewear look, they were being worn with long sweatshirts and T-shirts, scrunchy socks, and sneakers. Definitely a key look for Sarah in her early days of womanhood - and still a key look for both her and me (though with a different choice of footwear). Leggings would go out of style by late 1990s, however - though both Sarah and I managed to hold on to a few pairs, and wear them again from 2006 on.
Corduroy is probably not a trend Sarah will embrace.
Late 1990s saw the rise of wrap skirts - one of my favorite trends ever. I am not sure if Sarah will embrace them, though Sarah will certainly make sure to have a mini or two in her closet.
Punk and goth were key trends, and while Sarah won't be a follower of either trend, I expect her to incorporate a few elements in her own look. And chances are, a few of her friends were probably goth anyway - I knew of a number of goth transwomen back in the day myself.
Keds were popular then. I don't think I wore them, but Sarah should wear a few pairs.
While Ally McBeal and her trademark miniskirt suits were the rage in the late 1990s, and Sarah identified strongly with Ally, I don't expect Sarah to actually wear her miniskirts with a suit jacket. I don't really expect Sarah to be a suit girl anyway, except in her professional capacity. I would rather leave the Ally look to my alter ego Kirsten anyway - after all, the Ally look was, and still is, my primary trademark look and lesbian fashion statement.

Then on to the first decade of the new millennium, as Sarah flies away as a flight attendant, only to be brought down by layoff, but eventually regaining her wings and developing a strong identity as a woman, not to mention a social network and a marriage.

The 1990s ended with dark monochromatic looks. Sarah may have made good use of that look well into the new millennium, highlighting her gorgeous red hair.
Dark denim. I never wear denim, but Sarah may end up growing to love a few dark pairs of bellbottom jeans. I remember writing a scene where Sarah's father remarks to her about how she resembled her mother back when he had first met her - the bellbottom jeans will do it.
The Boho look, first pushed by Kate Moss and later by the likes of Sienna Miller and the Olsen twins. I never got much into Boho, but Sarah may end up with a peasant top or two out of this trend.
The protests against President Bush's wars made activist clothing (Che Guevara T-shirts, etc.) very fashionable for a time. I do not expect Sarah to wear them, however, as I think she'll prefer to make her statement with lapel pins and necklaces.
Leggings and footless tights made their return mid-decade. For Sarah and for me, thanks to Lindsay Lohan, these items are a lesbian fashion statement. They are worn like in the 1980s (under miniskirts) or in a new way (with Ugg boots). Tunics/minidresses in various styles to go along with the leggings are a must - I prefer them in floral and similar textures, and Sarah probably does too. The popular mantra directed at young girls too young to remember the 1980s - "Leggings are not pants" - are completely lost on both Sarah and me.
Speaking of Uggs and other Australian sheepskin boots, I refused to wear them at first, but now love them (though it's too warm to wear them now). Sarah may be an early adapter due to the Uggs' unmatched comfort.
Capri and gaucho pants, coming down to just below the knee, were popular. I never got to wear them for one reason or another. I don't expect Sarah to wear capris (she'll prefer capri-length leggings) but do expect her to wear wide-leg wool gauchos in cooler weather.
Ballet flats are the current popular footwear trend. I like them, but don't wear them often due to blisters left on my heel. But as they go so well with leggings, I expect Sarah to really wear her ballet flats.
Asia, especially Japan, was often the origin of some iconic fashion statements of the new millennium, including Lolita. I tend to ignore them, though an element or two *may* end up influencing me. Sarah may not differ too much from me on this.

Now that the 2010s are here, one key trend I am noticing is Christian Audigier's T-shirts and other fashion items under the Ed Hardy brand, incorporating designs from Hardy's tattoos. Honestly it's a trend I would rather do without, and I don't think Sarah is too keen on this either. Both of us simply wish to ride this trend out, the way we rode out two early 1990s key trends - Generra Hypercolor T-shirts and Cross Colours hip-hop apparel.

The other major trend is rompers, though honestly both Sarah and I are a bit too old to wear them.

Most importantly, fashion is the most obvious way for the wearer to express her personality and preferences. And by picking key iconic looks of the past and the present for Sarah, I will be better able to tell her story and the experiences that have shaped her.

Queens at Heart

2010-07-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

Outfest, the annual LGBT film festival in Los Angeles, has the Legacy Project, which is dedicated to digging up rare, neglected early LGBT themed movies, restoring them, and preserving them for posterity.

And today, while attending this year's Outfest, I was able to watch a short film entitled Queens at Heart, a 1967 (yes, that is pre-Stonewall) look at four New York area transwomen. As early trans themed films are extremely rare, Outfest made the restoration of this film a priority; the negative is forever lost, and the restoration used digital color enhancements on the two remaining, badly faded reels.

Again, this is a pre-Stonewall era film, at a time when very few heterosexuals understood what it is like to be gay and/or trans, and even fewer could even realize that the two topics were separate. The film is in the form of an interview of four "subjects" of a six-month observation, and the "interviewer" does his best to show off the misunderstandings/prejudices of the hetero world of the era. Namely, the interviewer is trying to approach the four transwomen as effeminate homosexual men, yet the four women end up answering the offensive questions (including those on anatomy, gender transition plans, and sex life with boyfriends) with dignity and spell out what it really is like to have the experience of "a girl trapped in a boy body." The interview is interspersed with extremely rare footages of New York area drag balls, where transwomen would have beauty pageants and dance the night away with men.

And I must also say that I certainly loved the contemporary hairdos and outfits - those iconic 1960s fashions and styles were memorable, and it is extremely rare to get to see them on the transwomen of the day.

Though again, it was the 1960s. In 2000, I remember sitting at some trans support groups in Berkeley, and hearing from some of the attendees about the stories they had, in turn, heard from early transitioners (circa 1980). Namely, the goals for the transwomen back then were to disappear into the crowds as full women, marry a nice man, and live in a suburban house with white picket fences. Very idealized, and very stereotyped, ideas of womanhood. And this film is from an even earlier era. The idea of transwomen being assertive, being lesbians, and/or hanging on to stereotypically male professions (if they had been working in them pre-transition) was completely unheard of then. Or for that matter, living openly as transgender for that matter - or choosing to be non-op.

Although a lot of progress remains to be made - transwomen in many countries are still unable to be anything other than stereotypical boycrazy entertainers, and even stateside, law enforcement often takes the same offensive attitude this film's "interviewer" carried - I am grateful that the LGBT culture and its understanding in hetero culture have evolved, to a point where being a trans lesbian in a stereotypically male profession in a Western country is just another ordinary day. I am glad that both I, and Sarah in the novel, will be able to determine our womanhood and female identities, on our own terms, rather than what stereotypes and social expectations demand, unlike these brave early pioneers.

I was also very pleased with the closing remarks by the "interviewer" - while he alluded to the psychiatric beliefs of the time, when homosexuality could be considered a mental illness (it was de-pathologized in 1973), he did note that when these four "effeminate homosexuals" were so attached to their female identities, maybe it would only be fair to consider their relationships with men to be not a homosexual relationship, but a manifestation of their inborn female identities.

After the film, there was a panel with three panelists - including Bamby Salcedo, a Facebook friend of mine who works with Latino trans youth at Children's Hospital Los Angeles and also tries to elevate trans Latino issues to the Latino community at large - to further discuss how the politics of trans movement can evolve to benefit the most people. Some valuable inputs came from the audience, including a need to be inclusive of intersex individuals as well as mutual reachout to/from allies in the lesbian/bisexual/gay community. Unfortunately I have to say that Ashley Love Sousa, who apparently has returned to Los Angeles after several months in New York, was in the audience, and took up a good chunk of time trying to argue that "real women" do not indulge in politics based on their medical condition, and that she is sick of gay men trying to appropriate the trans community for their perverted agenda; I honestly consider this mentality to be a huge insult to the four transwomen in the film who were such brave pioneers in their day.

When I get back on novel progress, I really need to make sure that Sarah (and by extension, myself) will assert her womanhood in her own way. She will be very open, almost to a vulnerable level - and there will be plenty of male aspects to Sarah, from her "big clit" to her penchant for aviation - but despite those factors, Sarah will still find a way to define and assert her female identity.

Lilith Fair (and Happy 33rd Birthday, Sarah!)

2010-07-13T01:28:00.000-07:00

It's already July 13th - Sarah's 33rd birthday!

The reasoning behind picking July 13th as Sarah's birthday was to mark July 13th, 2004, when I saw Sarah McLachlan, one of my music idols, for the first time in person. Although Sarah was not named after Sarah Mac in my mind (I simply picked an arbitrary name that transwomen tend to like), the storyline calls for just that; Sarah is driven by Sarah Mac's music as much as Kirsten is driven by Mariah Carey's. (I need to come up with what specifically gets Sarah attached to Sarah Mac.)

So it was very appropriate to celebrate Sarah's birthday by seeing Sarah Mac all over again. This time, it was part of the Los Angeles (actually it was Irvine in Orange County) stop of Lilith Fair, a festival of women musicians that had run from 1997 to 1999 and has now been revived. Sarah Mac or not, attending a very womanly event like this is also a good way to mark the occasion.

During the daylight hours, two smaller stages hosted up-and-coming singers, while a third intimate lounge, set up by ABC, hosted three acts.

Here is Marié Digby, singing her cover of the infamous Rihanna hit "Umbrella." Lovely atmosphere around the lounge, and Marié is interacting with the crowd pretty well too.

The rest of the festival had a very womanly feel of course, as well. Samples of sanitary pads and other feminine hygiene products being handed out, a feminist author having an autographing session, and of course a crowd that was 90% or so female (and a good portion of them lesbian). Lilith Fair is the ultimate way to just enjoy being a woman and value the sisterhood of other women.

Of course, here is the one and only Sarah Mac. So glad to see her again after six years.

The time when I enjoyed Sarah Mac especially a lot was the late 1990s, as I listened to her live Mirrorball album extensively, often on the road. Of course, it was also the time when my own Sarah was supposed to start her flight attendant stint. At the end of 1999, I had a disastrous trip to Amsterdam, where Sarah's airline was the saving grace thanks to the Melissa Etheridge inflight audio entertainment; truth be told, however, during the flights I was rocking away to Sarah Mac just as much through my own CD player, and Sarah Mac ended up being the pre-landing music at the end of both ocean crossings (and several more afterwards). In any case, glad to be reminded of my own Sarah from Sarah Mac.

On a more personal note, Sarah Mac becomes the fourth artist whom I get to enjoy in person multiple times. For a long time, Mariah Carey was the only artist with that distinction for me - though I also ended up returning to Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge in recent years, and had it not been for Bono's back injury, U2 would've been on that short list as well last month.

The encore finale. Sarah Mac brought out the performers from throughout the event, so that they could jointly sing the 10,000 Maniacs number "Because the Night."

Some of the performers visible are Brandi Carlile (in all black and singing her heart out), an out and proud lesbian; the legendary Emmylou Harris (in white cardigan and black slacks); Jes Hudak (in red shirt); and Molly Jenson (in floral romper). This main stage had also hosted country star Miranda Lambert and mariachi star Jenni Rivera; Rivera's mariachi music was certainly an unusual and very welcome twist to Lilith which normally sees only WASP music.

Again, one great event, just to feel good about being a woman and being surrounded by other women. And happy birthday, Sarah!

From a former classmate

2010-07-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

Kathy Valentino, with whom I took two Gayle Brandeis writing courses, is a lovely personality. A Canada-US dual citizen, she splits time between Los Angeles and Tucson.

Recently she took part in the NOH8 campaign to fight homophobia. I am glad to call her an ally.

Hoping to see progress on her novel in progress, which dealt with an aspiring actress, Dee, in early 1980s Hollywood and weaves the AIDS epidemic into the storyline. I hope to sit down with her for a novel brainstorming/writing session together, considering that we've known each other for five years now, and have some basic ideas about each other's work.

A Sarah moment

2010-06-23T00:25:00.000-07:00

My decision to portray Sarah as a gorgeous redhead was purely a practical consideration - to ensure that her teenage years would be as miserable as possible.

My original intent had been to portray Sarah as being boycrazy, but eventually my own experiences had to play a role - and Sarah evolved into a hardcore lesbian.

I've always known that Sarah was to be a flight attendant for United Airlines. And its elite passenger lounge, as shown above at Los Angeles International Airport, is known as the Red Carpet Club, something I had known for ages as a United customer.

Though putting all these pieces together, and also considering that I have been promoting "carpetmunching" as a political movement to counter the "teabagging" of the Tea Party Movement, the name Red Carpet Club is suddenly looking like a double-entendre involving Sarah's private quarters.

As scheduled, I flew United to New Orleans and back over Memorial Day weekend, and the photo was taken at the beginning of my trip. On this particular day, United logistics were in a total meltdown, and I was almost regretting my airline choice - the only good thing being that I had used a $150 credit from last year's Toronto trip and its own United goofup. But the rest of the experience went well - I got automatic first class upgrades both ways, without having to ask or cough up miles, just for being an elite customer, and the purser on the return flight was outstanding, single-handedly making sure that United would continue to earn my business - and that Sarah will continue to get paid.

New US Passport Policy

2010-06-22T23:34:00.000-07:00

Per a policy change in the US Department of State, proof of genital surgery is no longer a prerequisite for changing the gender designation on a US passport. Although it is old news by now, it is very important for both the novel storyline and for myself, and must be noted.

US Department of State
National Center for Transgender Equality

The new guidelines only require a physician's note, on official letterhead of the physician, attesting to the completion of "clinical treatment" for gender transition. What constitutes appropriate clinical treatment is left up to the applicant and the physician, no specific requirements. There is no longer a need to submit detailed medical records so that a brain-dead bureaucrat can determine if the genital surgery is "complete" or not. It appears that changing the gender marker on the passport is now very similar to changing it on state identification cards (driver's license, etc.) in the more progressive states; the State of California uses a specific form for the purpose, and requires the physician to only attest to the appearance and demeanor of the applicant, without a need to state further medical information.

If the clinical treatment is ongoing, a temporary nonrenewable passport can be obtained, though it is valid for two years rather than one, as was the case for pre-op transpeople previously.

This brings the US policy on par with the policies of the UK and Spain, both of whom had done away with the surgery requirement years ago.

For me, this is a very important change, and in a good direction as well. For me, it's more important to live the life of a woman, and socialize the way a woman would, than to have a female anatomy; getting a gender-corrected passport was honestly the only major reason for me to opt for genital surgery, and that's a pretty lousy reason. With this change, I can now concentrate more on building a female life and identity, and work on better life quality, rather than worrying about surgery expenses - without the fear of losing my ability to travel.

I don't know how this will work for Sarah. I had seen her traveling with a passport with a male gender marker through 2008, though in late 2008, I expected her to get the one-year nonrenewable passport in anticipation of her mid-2009 surgery. While it is true that Sarah can stay non-op and benefit from this 2010 policy, I don't really see the storyline extending this long. Moreover, I had previously, repeatedly, noted Sarah's huge male anatomy, and surgery in the interest of improved self-image may be much more necessary in Sarah's case.

One possible idea may be to extend the storyline, to throw in another twist. Sarah would end up with the genital surgery in 2009, but due to her lack of labioplasty, her passport would continue to identify her as male, giving her severe headaches when traveling to some new, noted homophobic destinations of her airline. This new policy may be the saving grace of it all - a final affirmation of Sarah's female identity, as it finally allows Sarah to get a female passport.

Another one from Europe archives

2010-05-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, December 9th, 1999.

After being sickened by one week of nonstop harassment from Amsterdam's ethnic thugs, I am leaving, and no sight could be a bigger relief than this United Airlines 777 waiting to take me back to sanity. The aircraft will fly to Washington Dulles Airport as Flight 947, and from there, I will continue on to San Francisco in a 767 that will take over the 947 flight number.

At least I can count on one of the inflight audio channels run a Melissa Etheridge marathon, once I'm on board. That's vastly preferable to flying on one of the KLM planes in the background, and prolonging my Amsterdam agony by several more hours.

Because of the Melissa Etheridge programming, plus the fact that United extended employee benefits to same-sex partners of employees earlier in the year, flying United for the millennial holiday season (I had also flown to Las Vegas earlier) was an exercise in feeling some serious doses of Lesbian Power. I have always referred to United Airlines as "the Dyke-Friendly United" ever since.

Of course, that was one of the reasons behind shaping Sarah as a flight attendant, and having her work at United. The second portion of Flight 947 indeed appeared to have a transwoman flight attendant. Though I have had no chance, so far, to "tell" Sarah that I associate her employer with lesbian pride - I know she'd reply to me with even more chants of "hopeless dyke," while appreciating me for associating her employer with something I love and cherish.

When I had started this trip a week prior, I had left San Francisco on Flight 930, arriving in London. That flight will be immortalized as Sarah's first international work assignment. (And Sarah herself will end up experiencing Amsterdam later on, and making choice comments on the thugs who made my own visit such a misery.)

From European archives

2010-05-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

This was the last photo from my two-week European tour of late 2009. Seen at the Louvre in Paris, France, this Hermaphrodite is on loan from Villa Borghese in Rome, Italy, and is a 16th Century copy of a 1st Century Roman original.

Hermaphrodite is noteworthy in Greco-Roman mythology. Described as the son of Hermes and Aphrodite, he has always been described as someone with both male and female attributes. However, the Wikipedia article seems to describe Hermaphrodite as a feminine being who happens to have male genitals, making him an historical form of shemale porn. And that's certainly what I saw at the Louvre - a lovely nymph with soft, feminine curves and proportions, but with a very well-endowed manhood that's greater than those on the teabagger warrior statues nearby.

I felt quite insulted looking at this statue, seeing as proof that the Romans were not merely into teabagging (which I hate greatly), but also into shemale porn as well. But at the same time, I was thinking of Sarah, whom I describe as having similar attributes - a lovely, attractive woman who (until recently) was known for a large male anatomy as well. In fact, as Kirsten poses Sarah through successive photo sessions to document Sarah's bodily changes, this will be very evident as well. (I especially look forward to two particular photo sessions - Sarah's final pre-op session, where with estrogen treatment temporarily halted, Sarah feels Sanford's wild sex drive take her over, and acts more like Sanford with boobs and long hair than Sarah, then Sarah's first post-op session, where the fresh surgery scars and Sarah's newfound fully female anatomy will be the showcase, giving a very positive connotation to a normally derogative term "fire crotch.")

It will be only a few more weeks before I fly to New Orleans with Sarah's coworkers. But more importantly, it looks like I will be repeating, and continuing, my 2008 Seoul meditation regimen as well, the only question being exactly when; I had found that period, and Seoul itself, to be very conducive to my creativity, so to resume what I had interrupted will be a huge plus to me - and to the novel. Could be a very interesting summer/autumn, if I am not banned by the far-right South Korean government for my "subversive leftist" views.

Novel slows down - but Sarah gets a new boss

2010-05-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

Moving forward with the novel is so challenging now, due to my lack of motivation. I am finding myself ever more easily annoyed, as (1) I cannot even count on my living arrangements in a few months (my current place may need to be rented out), and (2) I'm running out of patience with people I deal with, for whom I might as well be speaking Martian. This is despite the fact that I'm trying to enjoy myself, complete with a Dodgers baseball season ticket package. (Who knows, Sarah may need to become part of the Giants-Dodgers rivalry, she would be rooting for the Giants.)

The big news today, however, is that Sarah's employer, United Airlines, announced a merger with Continental Airlines. I am following up on a number of articles, as well as the two airlines' official merger site. The combined airline will be called United, but will use Continental's current branding including the globe tail, and the new airline's management team will be led by Continental's CEO (AKA Sarah's new boss). While most people, including me, see airline mergers as a bad thing due to decreased competition and reduced services on redundant routes, this may be one exception due to relatively little overlap between the two airlines (the recent Delta-Northwest merger also is considered to be a good one along similar lines). In any case, regulators and unions will have to sign off on the merger before it's done - that includes Association of Flight Attendants, which represents Sarah.

I even read a particular article, which I cannot locate anymore, regarding Sarah's old boss, Glenn Tilton, who joined United as an industry outsider in 2002, coming from Texaco. Tilton has been reviled, and rightfully so, for stiffing his employees, via a number of moves including termination of employee pension plan. I do not think his name is something that brings smiles to Sarah, for sure. Tilton was also responsible for mass termination of plane leases, and for letting the United fleet decay significantly. The United board of directors had zero employee representation, which allowed Tilton to rule in a nearly dictatorial manner, and he was looking for mere survival rather than building of the airline. There are tons of battle scars at United, which will continue to be factors even after the merger is completed. However, I am hearing two good things regarding him - that (1) his appointment of a new COO for services/fleet has started concrete improvements in service and returned profitability, and (2) his insistence on finding a suitable merger partner, which culminated with the Continental merger today, may be the one thing that ensures United - and Sarah - will fly on. (And that my frequent flier points live on too.)

In any case, this will be an interesting development, even though I expect the storyline to end before the merger is of any consequence. However, the turbulent years involving bankruptcy and pension termination, which left Sarah fuming badly and even laid off for a while, are definitely worth a review, to get the storyline right for her.

P.S. According to the official merger website, the founder of Varney Air Lines, a mail airline and one of the four airlines that merged to form United, went on to found another mail airline, Varney Speed Lines, in 1935, and that became today's Continental. Pretty interesting to see both companies become one again.

Public Triumph, Private Torment

2010-03-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

That is the title of a Los Angeles Times article, dating from March 27th, 2010, dealing with the story of the paper's star sports writer, the late Mike Penner.

What is already well known is that Penner's true inner identity was female, and that identity was manifested as Christine Daniels in 2007. However, hurtful comments by other sports writers, as well as a transgender community that wanted to idolize Daniels and take advantage of her stature, without truly catering to her needs, took a toll. One part of the article, in particular, describes Daniels' photo shoot in late 2007, which, to her, seemed to feel more like an attempt to portray her as an ugly man in a dress. Combined with a divorce filing by her wife, Daniels, after suffering from months of disability, returned to work as Penner, and eventually committed suicide.

Some of the older women in the Los Angeles trans community, especially those at Metropolitan Community Church where Daniels had attended, are prominently named in the article. A good number of them are close friends of mine as well, though what they had done in order to try to help Daniels out - for example, Amy LaCoe housing Daniels at her place for a few months - are well above and beyond what I had previously known. Just as noteworthy in the article is the mention that while a presentation that's neither strictly male nor strictly female is finding acceptance among younger people, for older people like Daniels and her friends, that's not as well accepted due to having grown up in an era of more defined gender roles; this is something I strongly agree with.

Though honestly I don't know where that deal about Daniels being ugly and unpassable even comes in. Based on the photos I have seen, Daniels looked lovely and very passable.

The saddest part of it all is that the factors that drove Christine Daniels to revert to Mike Penner, and eventually commit suicide, are still clear and present dangers. Southern California remains a very transphobic place, made even worse by theocratic immigration, and even the trans community itself is trying to determine who is a rightful transperson and who's not, rather than collectively work together to end the gender binary and other social constructs that serve to oppress the trans community. And when it comes to the trans community's own internal discrimination, I had thought it was simply a relic of the older generation with stricter gender roles, but I was wrong; a very young "activist," Ashley Love Sousa, is pushing this very same mentality herself. (And her constant search for fame and self-promotion, penchant for freeloading, and very incendiary rhetoric that is actually very empty in substance, have actually left many of my friends wondering if Ashley is indeed trans, or is a mere impostor pretending to be a trans activist simply to further her career.)

I simply want to say that I am getting sick of all this infighting among transpeople myself. The death of Christine Daniels is a tragedy that is bound to repeat over and over again, though I want to do everything I can to help end the sad trend of trans suicides. And I need to keep my activities in perspective; while I will gladly work with the trans community to further its broad causes (and I will tell Sarah's story to help in that regard), I myself need to cultivate friendships and networks in the broader community, be it lesbians, straight women, or anyone else.

I do want to thank Christine Daniels, in the meantime, for spreading some insights on the trans experience - her writings have allowed her BFF Susan Horn to reconnect with her teenage daughter, who had disowned her upon coming out as trans, but later turned around upon reading a Daniels column.

Being trans in the Netherlands

2010-03-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

A new Facebook friend, who currently lives in Little Rock but previously based herself out of Utrecht (and now is preparing to move back to Europe - this time, to Spain), asked to be my friend when I vented my 1999 Amsterdam frustrations in response to a trans-themed fanpage's "dream destinations for transgender women."

Both she and I agree - that Amsterdam's trans-friendliness is grossly overrated. While legal framework is favorable, the fact remains, as I had noted during my visit, that hate speech wrapped up in ethnic cultures is very well protected. But what she added to my observations was just as eye-opening; she says that (1) the straight world pays lip service to transpeople without really trying to address their concerns, and (2) transwomen who are not post-op reasonably fast are deemed to be casual transvestite men rather than a member of womanhood. The trans support groups are very miserable, she says, and not all that interested in making transpeople healthy and productive at all, rather keeping them miserable.

This new friend is, again, very new, and I do need to verify what she says via another source. Luckily, I know another trans lesbian, a native Dutchwoman based in IJmuiden, who has filled me in with details on the recent rise of theocracy in the Netherlands after my visit. Although she feels that I am singling out the Surinamese, she does agree with many of my concerns.

In any case, I am appalled at the politically correct people who do NOT even want to entertain the very possibility that the Netherlands, a "beacon of tolerance," is much less of a utopia than it's hyped out to be, much less the reality that the intolerance often has an ethnic origin. Similar issues have risen in the UK, and in the US as well (I will gladly talk about the Korean and Central American theocracy in the State of California, the reason why the state banned gay marriage twice).

I sincerely feel that Sarah will need to discuss this reality in a tactful way. The story, and my message, will simply not be complete without this. And honestly, she may find coming home on Flight 947 to be as much of a relief, as I had found it to be on December 9th, 1999.

LGBT rights around the world

2010-03-23T23:56:00.000-07:00

The following article links to a PDF file from the US Department of State, that summarizes LGBT rights in every nation worldwide, sorted by continent:

Bay Windows

Since Sarah has to travel to many nations around the world as part of her job, having this information will help out immensely with writing some of my scenes in the countries concerned. In a nutshell, Western Europe is still the most friendly region of the world, although East Asia is catching up surprisingly fast (well, not so much of a surprise to me), while Africa and the Middle East remain dismal.

Although Sarah's airline is about to start up its first-ever African route (serving Ghana and Nigeria) and adding its third Middle Eastern destination (Bahrain, in addition to Kuwait and Dubai), I don't think Sarah will ever be going to any of those places anytime soon - and given her seniority by now, she should be able to stick to her favorite European and Asian routes.

Another key may be to have Sarah personally document the fast-improving life for LGBTs in East Asia, from a non-Asian perspective. Now that will be a challenge for me. However, by having Sarah tell stories of improvement in Asia over the years, I could add yet another positive twist to the story. I want her, in particular, to report on all sorts of strong LGBT protection laws put in by the Democratic Progressive Party in Taiwan (the article says any business who discriminates against LGBTs can expect a very hefty fine), and/or rulings coming out of South Korea's Human Rights Commission - not to mention transpeople in pop culture in both countries plus other Asian destinations.

And while modern developments are featured, traditional culture still needs to play a part. Sarah's first trip to Hong Kong will certainly involve Kwan Yin, and I intend to send her to Monastery of Ten Thousand Buddhas, where I was absolutely overwhelmed by the number of Kwan Yin statues there; in fact, she may be even more overcome with emotions. And during my Seoul stay, I had decided that Sarah would write a travelogue for United's inflight magazine, Hemispheres, featuring Seoul's shaman sights, as well as some blurb on the role of transgender women as shamans (mudang); that idea is still a go, of course, and yes, Sarah will write the article as an openly transgender lesbian employee.

Sarah must also discuss nasty surprises even in "friendly" Europe - be they from Jamaican thugs in southern London, Surinamese thugs in Amsterdam, or neo-Nazi skinheads and Slavic homophobes in Germany. She may have some REAL difficulties in Amsterdam in particular, but I want her to be able to overcome them with help of some kind locals.

It's kind of hard to motivate myself to get back to writing still, but it looks like my work will wind down significantly in a few months, so let me see what happens then. For now I'm too busy enjoying my newfound solitary living. In the meantime, I have confirmed my New Orleans visit; although the most logical airline for New Orleans is Delta (after all, the Delta name itself refers to the Mississippi Delta), I am sticking to Sarah and United while my elite privileges still last. See you on board, Sarah! (And of course, I'd LOVE to travel to Japan toward the autumn. Given my travel patterns, Nawlins and Japan are the two most glaring gaps in my travels, and I sincerely hope to fill those gaps this year.)

Sarah, your new planes are on order

2010-03-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

For the first time in 11 years, United Airlines has placed an order for new aircraft. The order includes 25 firm orders for the Boeing 787, with options for 50 more. This order has been rumored and discussed for almost a year, so I'm glad to finally see it become reality.

Chicago Breaking Business News

This order takes advantage of decreased demands from other airlines for new aircraft, due to the global recession. Due to the still-sketchy nature of the 787 program, the orders have been scheduled so that the 787 will not actually enter United service until 2016. Moreover, an order for a rival aircraft, the Airbus A350, is still being negotiated, meaning that if the 787 turns out to be a real dud, the risks will be minor.

Those miserable 747s and 767s need to be phased out soon, so this is a good thing for Sarah, and for the passengers she serves. I am thinking of a possible trip to Tokyo (my first visit to Japan) later this year, but the thought of hopping on one of those aging 747s, with only an old projector screen for video entertainment in economy class, is NOT appetizing at all. And when passengers don't feel good about an airplane, they won't like Sarah too much either, and inferior amenities also prevent Sarah from delivering a better service to passengers as well.

In addition to the 787 and the A350, another order of narrowbody aircraft, to add to and eventually replace the current A320 and 757 fleet (the retirement of the 737 has really shrunk the fleet), is being worked on, the article says. Due to newer, smaller, efficient jets from Bombardier and Embraer, the competition among manufacturers should be more fierce than for the big jets under Boeing-Airbus duopoly. In any case, the 757 is way too old. For Sarah and her airline to hold on to elite customers like me, ongoing aircraft and service investments are badly needed.

Enjoy your 787, Sarah, and I hope to run into you on board soon.

A sexology Wiki

2010-02-27T02:49:00.000-08:00

This post's contents are NSFW - and its links even more so. You've been warned.

With "carpetmunching" and "red carpet" being some of my key themes lately in political and other conversations, I had to trace them back to their sex-related origins. As I Googled the Web, I ended up coming across the following Wiki on sexology, maintained at a voyeuristic site.

Voyeurweb's Wiki about Sex

It describes carpetmunching as "lesbian oral sex" (no surprise there) - and links to an article entitled "eating pussy" for more information. Although that latter article can describe any type of cunnilingus (lesbian or hetero), its example photos are indeed lesbian. The examples include the "69" position (where both parties have their mouths at each other's genitals, something I envision Sarah and Kirsten to indulge in early on), the missionary, and more.

The wiki, though written from a porn perspective, does have some good pieces of information, including how the size/shape/position of the clitoris can widely vary between different women, as well as info on public nudity and exhibitionism (both of which I've already associated with Sarah).

Again, the key is to make Sarah and Kirsten very human, rather than stereotypes or ideals, and that indeed does mean developing some detailed, realistic sexuality. This will take a bigger twist given Sarah's ever-changing body and gender transition. And again, I also need to have a good idea on how Sarah looks and functions pre-op (I've already mentioned her enormous "big clit" several times) and post-op (I don't expect her to go through additional labioplasty, which leaves her with minimal labia, but I do expect her to still have sizable clitoral tissue and reasonably deep vagina, and aside from inability to have multiple orgasms, function very well).

Thoughts from another Mariah Carey concert

2010-02-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, I saw her again last night. Sixth time overall, and just five months after the previous time, but first time without having to leave Los Angeles. I was happy with the show.

While I will leave it up to other LGBT websites to opine about how Mariah Carey's push to increasingly assert her own voice in choosing what kinds of material to record (R&B, rather than power ballads demanded by the industry, for example) has won her many supporters among lesbians and gay men (and her mannerisms can equal that of any flamboyant drag queen), I want to think about how she weaves into my storytelling for Sarah and Kirsten.

Since my fourth time seeing Mariah Carey, I've always felt that Kirsten ought to be a mega-fan, a so-called "Lamb" (a nickname used by hardcore Mariah Carey fans to refer to themselves). This can draw from Kirsten's own biracial background as well as Kirsten's own struggle to assert herself and her sexuality/identity (pretty much what those LGBT commentators bring up on the topic of Mariah). There may be some specific events during Kirsten's teenage and early college years that may really add up to a more personal reason to be a Lamb, which I will need to seriously consider.

As for Sarah, well, Sarah is not supposed to be a fan at all, but listening to Mariah will always be a pleasant reminder of Kirsten. Sarah may, in fact, end up enjoying Mariah the very same way I often do - while traveling in a faraway destination. In fact, when Mariah was wrapping up with her encore number "Hero" last night, all the memories of traveling I have done over the past 16 years listening to that song started to rush through my head. One of the first images going through my head was from summer 1994, that of me flying into Seoul on a United Airlines plane, followed by a few other images from that trip, including coming across Mariah's music and fans at a number of key venues in Seoul, before flying back and on to NYC, and Mariah herself, again on a United plane. In fact, when I wrote that November 2008 "interview" with Sarah in Seoul, this was something I shared with Sarah herself - and I even named it as a key reason why I had to make Sarah work for United rather than some other airline. This "making connections between cultures" meme is extremely important to me, one reason why I hold the travel industry in high regard, expect the best from airline crews to fulfill that meme, and hope to portray Sarah as someone striving to meet that high expectation. In fact, another image that flashed through my thoughts during "Hero," indeed, was Sarah's face, something that hadn't happened before!

Other imagery that I had gone through to further this thought, during "Hero," were my other travel moments - strolling the streets of some of my other favorite cities like London, Paris, and Hong Kong, as well as flying to even more destinations on a number of other great airlines (and their crew). Even my 1994 Seoul memories were augmented by new ones from my 2008 residency there, from my returns to those very venues where I had come across Mariah Carey's music and fans, to a scenic drive on a riverside freeway that allowed me to really enjoy the cityscape. (And speaking of driving, another image coming up was me speeding away on a German Autobahn last year, and I also had flashbacks to train trips as well.)

In any case, I need to remember this "making connection" meme even more strongly. My own continued enjoyment of Mariah Carey's music, based on my past travel memories, is a way of reinforcing that, and I hope I can do my own part by telling Sarah's story to a wider audience. Time for me to continue my travels and make more connections. Hoping that I will have a confirmed New Orleans reservation for Memorial Day before too long, as another contribution to that meme. And back to Mariah Carey, she'll certainly have a role to play in the story - since Kirsten, again, will be one notorious Lamb, with a few personal stories to go along with that.

Feeling some lesbian power

2010-02-22T02:24:00.000-08:00

In the trans community, I am notorious for my hardcore lesbianism, to a point where some people call me "lesbian first, trans only as an afterthought." And it's a reputation I sometimes play up; when "teabagging," originally referring to a form of hazing done with a man's scrotum, became the label for the anti-Obama "Tea Party" protests in 2009, I proposed a countermovement of "carpetmunching," and I've now evolved this into sadistic tongue-in-cheek threats of violence against male genitalia as well ("try teabagging me, I shall munch everything to destruction").

Even working on Sarah's story is no different. Originally, the story was about Kirsten, my non-trans alter ego; of course, the story would never work without Kirsten being a hardcore lesbian herself, and her lesbianism is one of the defining traits of her character. Sarah was to be a mere supporting character, but as she demanded to take center stage, she also demanded to be portrayed as a lesbian as well, rather than being boycrazy as I had initially intended her to be. I was finding that as much as I wanted to write about an attractive boycrazy transwoman, I simply couldn't do it, so I had to turn Sarah Sapphic. That also ensured that Kirsten would find some other purpose - as Sarah's eventual girlfriend and wife. Given Kirsten's hardcore lesbianism - and hatred of anything phallic, getting her to fall in love with Sarah, complete with her "big clit," would be a challenge - but it's not impossible, and I think I'm figuring this out just fine.

From the get-go, Sarah was supposed to be a flight attendant (stereotypical female glamour, but thankless work). Also from the get-go, Sarah was supposed to work for United Airlines - though initially I saw her as being laid off in 2004 during the airline's financial difficulties. But as I developed the story, there were far better reasons for Sarah to fly for United. One reason for the choice is because I am familiar with the airline myself; it's also the airline I am partial to for sentimental reasons. And one of those reasons happens to be late 1999, when I put in some serious mileage flying from San Francisco to Las Vegas, then to Amsterdam; while the Amsterdam trip was a nightmare (something I discussed in a post in early December 2009), the flights to/from there, with a Melissa Etheridge channel, were the saving grace. Though that channel was merely the product of the vendor providing the audio programming, as well as some lip service to United Airlines instituting employee benefits for unmarried partners of employees earlier that year, I still found it to be a pleasant surprise, when I needed it the most. So much so, that I always refer to United Airlines, even to this day, as "Dyke-Friendly United" - and putting my favorite redhead trans lesbian to work there takes an additional layer of meaning.

Before I resume my novel, I feel that I need to write another Sarah interview. The ones I tried to write, in December 2008 in Hong Kong and September 2009 in Los Angeles, both fizzled out; that means after November 2008 in Seoul, I have no new novel work, period. I want this new interview to finally be the point where I tell Sarah that I strongly associate her airline with lesbian power. That may be one revelation that she may really appreciate. Sure, when it comes to trans-friendliness, no airline tops American, but my emphasis of "dyke-friendly United" over trans-friendly American may just yet be another way for me to live up to my reputation of "lesbian first, trans as an afterthought."

And surely, the finished novel, as much as it tries to tell a trans story, may end up being more of a lesbian coming-of-age story with a trans twist. And that may as well be how I need to proceed.

TransYouth Family Allies

2010-02-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

I have added this very important resource to my trans links list, after spending some time with its director, Kim Pearson, in recent weeks. My first meeting with her was over a lunch in Las Vegas during the New Year's weekend, and my second meeting was in Sherman Oaks last week during her weeklong Los Angeles visit.

Mrs. Pearson is based out of Lake Havasu City, Arizona, but travels extensively throughout North America to advocate for a better life for transgender/gender-variant children and their families. She is driven by a desire to give her own trans son a shot at a happy life; the son, born in a female body, first identified as a lesbian by age 13, but by age 14 was identifying as a man, and having been allowed to fully assert his male identity, has shaken off all the mental and academic problems that had been plaguing his life as a girl. (This son is turning 18 soon.) This story often repeats with the families Pearson works with - children who bloom into very happy delights when allowed to live in their preferred gender role.

She especially works closely with the Romero family in Arizona, whose daughter, Josie, 8, was featured in a National Geographic Channel documentary. When the Romeros tried to raise Josie as Joseph, all hell broke loose; even getting dressed for school was a riot, and getting Joseph to engage in any "male" activities was an exercise in frustration. Joseph also had to take seventeen different medications for "behavioral problems." But Josie, now medication-free, is one of the happiest children I've ever seen. She is a total delight. Yes, she still has a penis (she herself makes it clear), but some new therapies, such as puberty blockers, may buy Josie some time as she plots her teenage and adult life. I hope that she will grow up into a lovely, happy, well-adjusted woman, and that her story will serve as an inspiration for other families with trans children.

I got to know Kim Pearson via Facebook - and I am very proud to call her my friend, and to financially support her organization.

I am reminded that some of what's available to the likes of Josie are simply not available to someone of Sarah's (and my) generation. Although I decided to cut out Sarah's teenage years for the most part, referring them only through flashbacks, this approach may need to change. There will certainly be a huge struggle, between Sarah's desires to become a girl, her disgust at all the male developments of her body, her troubles in school, and her parents' struggle to understand and come up with a solution; given that the Internet was not widely available back then, information gathering may be a challenge (America Online was available around 1993, but its proprietary content most likely would not have had anything related to trans youth). What I also need to think about is how the trauma that Sarah had experienced as a teenage boy, would translate into some incidents later on in life, be they at her community college, at her early jobs, or at her flight attendant job. I may need to even throw in an early incident where her just-started flight attendant career is put at risk, due to a passenger's conduct suddenly bringing up past traumatic memories for Sarah.

A trans bike chick

2010-02-19T10:49:00.000-08:00

No, she doesn't do any competitive cycling. She designs and makes bicycles.

One of my real-life friends, who goes by the name Beth Spring, is an expert in bicycle design and manufacturing. In fact, she's written a book on it, and I can easily buy her book at online bookstores; however, she authored it under her boy name, which I will not give out. Unfortunately she is not in a position to go fulltime with her true identity, given her frequent trips to her suppliers in Shanghai. Her boy name, for now, remains her legal identity.

But nevertheless it's glad to know that one of the experts in bicycle manufacture is not only a transwoman, but also a good friend of mine.

Before Beth frequented China, her suppliers were in Japan and Taiwan, and she frequented those countries often also, even falling in love in Japan. Frequent business trips to those countries, plus a bit of additional time spent in South Korea, has made her very knowledgeable in and appreciative of East Asian cultures, and that's made for many interesting conversations between her and me. Here is a Westerner who likes East Asia and her peoples, not out of a sexual fetish, but out of a good level of understanding and respect.

(Surprisingly, she has not visited Hong Kong just yet. In turn, she finds it surprising that I have never visited Japan either.)

Beth has some parallels to Sarah. Beth is a dark blonde, but her hair can be reddish on occasion. And Beth does most of her transpacific flying on Sarah's airline - so much so, that she's on pace to become a Million Miler at United Airlines in the next year or two. And of course, Beth is a hardcore lesbian. Aside from being older, and a passenger rather than a flight attendant, Beth may as well be a carbon copy of Sarah.

Beth, in her spare time, entertains people as the bassist at BlindDog Wanders, an all-transgender band that formed last year. This is a great band - I am also good friends with Laura Gonzales, the guitarist/songwriter. Hoping to see more of the band soon. For now, I've shared some details about Sarah and my novel progress with Beth, and hope to share the full story with her before long.

Beth now keeps in touch with me primarily via Facebook. And speaking of Facebook, I have now set my searchable alternate name as "Sarah Allyson Radcliffe" - I did make it clear that Sarah is the name of my novel protagonist rather than myself, but by using Sarah's name as an alternate name, I am making another step toward getting back in the novel mood. And indeed, I do need to become Sarah to a large degree, even learning to fake her friendly personality that's a must for her job.

Christine Daniels memorial - and trans Christianity

2010-01-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

Although it's been almost two months since Christine Daniels' death, only today was a memorial service held by her loved ones, at Metropolitan Community Church of Los Angeles. As it turned out, the funeral had been held by her immediate family, the funeral was held for Mike Penner rather than Christine Daniels, and Christine's friends had been barred from the funeral.

Although Christine's transition story, the forced de-transition, and the suicide had been news items that were quite big out there (certainly for sports fans, since "Mike Penner" had a great sense of humor and wit on the Los Angeles Times sports pages), I never got to know the very private, yet very cheerful woman behind the story, until today. As her friends shared many memories of her, I was starting to put together a portrait of a life full of twists and turns, with plenty of pain but plenty of substance too. It had been Christine's support that had allowed many fellow older transwomen of the Metropolitan Community Church to find their own selves, their confidence, their faith, and more.

I especially loved the part where Susan Horn, Christine's best friend, mentioned Mike Penner's Los Angeles Times column from the 2006 FIFA World Cup in Germany, where Penner wrote "the big nose pores on the soccer fans shown on the IMAX screen in Munich does NOT equal technological progress," and Susan herself, who had known that Christine's public persona was simply Mike the writer, connected the dots right there and then, since male sports writers don't make observations like that.

It was priceless for me to learn about a warm, lovely personality (though too late), and to connect with the part of Los Angeles trans community - the one that follows Christianity and bases itself out of the Metropolitan Community Church - that I had not been able to connect with much. Although some members of this community, such as the Social Butterflies members, had been familiar faces before, tonight was my first chance to come across some others whom I had been aware of only via Facebook, such as Susan Horn.

Although I have no intention of converting back to Christianity - and my true spiritual home from now on is the Unitarian congregation in Pasadena - I need to follow these trans Christians closely, since I've always considered my own Sarah to be a liberal Christian, but have had trouble shaping her spirituality. I also need to get away from the toxic anti-individual Third World brand of Christianity that is so prevalent elsewhere in Los Angeles.

On other notes, the hours before the memorial were spent in ways that allowed me to also revisit my own past, and see how I could construct Sarah's teenage years. I had made a brief stop at my teeny bopper stomping grounds, Santa Anita Fashion Park in Arcadia - though it's no longer a generic 1970s suburban mall that it had been during my teeny bopper years in the early 1990s, and is much larger and nicer today. Later on, I ended up in Glendale where I bought a floral babydoll tunic, a popular look circa 1990. Sarah's penchant for early 1990s fashions will need to parallel much of mine - I will continue to develop this. (It's already a given that Sarah really loves her leggings.)

President Obama's transgender appointee

2010-01-07T09:45:00.001-08:00

This is old news by now, but I am posting now due to my absolute halt in blogging for the past several weeks.

President Barack Obama has named Amanda Simpson of Tucson, Arizona, as Senior Technical Advisor for the Bureau of Industry and Security at the US Department of Commerce. This is the first time that a transgender person has ever been appointed to a high-level US federal government position.

Amanda Simpson has been a fixture in Tucson for a long time; her work at Raytheon was outstanding, and it was she who led the way toward Raytheon having a consistent policy toward its transgender employees, and toward a greater awareness of trans issues in Tucson, one of the early cities that enacted trans protections. When I lived in Tucson in my 2001 poverty days, I was able to meet with Amanda on a monthly basis, and she was trying hard to translate her technical skills at Raytheon into something that could be of use toward trans activism. At that time, she was also giving interviews to the local CBS affiliate so that the rest of Tucson would have a better understanding of its trans community.

Although President Obama has been very slow in turning his "change" mantra into actual results, this is one extremely positive development. Of course, the Religious Right's objections are loud, but it bears remembering that it is Amanda's work that helped Raytheon develop weapons that now protect America from those terrorist infidels overseas, and only goes on to prove that the Religious Right is pro-infidels and anti-American in wanting to impose theocracy.

I had lost touch with Amanda for years, but currently I am friends with her again by way of Facebook, and getting updates on her adjustment to life in DC and the federal government. Glad to follow her life real-time that way. And when it comes to Perfect Girl, Amanda and Sarah share one common trait: love of aviation. One of Amanda's roles at Raytheon was a test pilot, and although I don't think Sarah ever pilots airplanes in real life, she certainly has a healthy interest in piloting, and I've made her a top-notch armchair pilot. If the two ever meet, they could have a field day talking about piloting.

Wishing Amanda all the best!

What makes a great airline?

2009-12-03T11:28:00.002-08:00

As I reminisce the Amsterdam trip of 1999, and the Europe trip (centered around Germany) just a month ago, I have some thoughts worth reminiscing over, and it's something I must remember as I try to carry the proper attitude of a flight attendant into Sarah.

"Come fly the airline that's uniting the world.

Come fly the friendly skies."

- United Airlines slogan, early 1990s

When others see this photo, they see a United 777 taking off from Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport. But to me, it means more - the end of the worst international trip of my life, and the return of sanity. After putting up with the ethnic thugs of Amsterdam for a week, the mere sight of a United tail at the airport was a relief. I vastly preferred sitting in that plane, listening to some Melissa Etheridge, being served by a top-notch crew in a state-of-the-art plane, and knowing that I would never, ever have to deal with the Surinamese barbarians around Damrak ever again.

And it wasn't just this trip. Throughout the 1990s, United was my strongly preferred airline. It partly had to do with a few other key travel memories (for example, flying to Mariah Carey in New York, AND her huge fan base in Seoul, all on United, in 1994), but just as important was knowing that I was flying on an airline well known for quality service, professionalism, and a spirit of innovation. I was well aware of United being involved with the Boeing 777 development program, in particular, and when the 777 did come online, I made sure to get on one for my first Atlantic crossing. Flying United was more than about frequent flier miles; for me, it was a decision about pride and feeling good as well.

Unfortunately, the Amsterdam trip would be the last time I would truly get that proud feeling by flying United. The mismanagement since then, including the bankruptcy, has truly hammered the airline, and it will take a long time of consistently good management decisions before the glory is ever restored.

"There's no better way to fly."

- Lufthansa slogan

However, I am happy to know that I have gotten that proud feeling back. The trip to Germany a month and a half ago was on Lufthansa, on an Airbus A340-600 like this. This was my first-ever journey on Lufthansa, and while Lufthansa is nowhere as posh as some of the top-notch airlines such as Singapore Airlines, Cathay Pacific, or Asiana (my recent favorite), its level of professionalism is second to none. The Germanic obsession with order and professionalism carries straight into Lufthansa, its equipment, and its crew. The inflight announcements are designed so that I know exactly what to expect, when I land in Munich and try to enter Germany, or when I am coming back to Los Angeles. (Thanks, in particular, for letting me know that if I have a German name with an umlaut over a vowel, I must delete the umlaut and add an extra E after the vowel in question, otherwise the US immigration can't process my I-94 or I-94W.)

Lufthansa crew are also extremely well-trained and professional. Again, they are not as friendly as the Asian crews, but they know what they're doing VERY WELL. And as for the airline itself, it is a pioneer - it is well associated with the Boeing 737, the upcoming Boeing 747-8, and the Airbus A340 series - and its sound management and healthy balance sheets have enabled it to continually invest and innovate, including the expansion of Miles & More frequent flier program, investments in Swiss Air Lines, Austrian Airlines, and JetBlue Airways, and keeping the entire Star Alliance well managed. Choosing to fly an airline of this high caliber makes me feel good, and I surely felt good aboard Lufthansa. In fact, I had never felt so good about my airline choice since those United 777s of the 1990s. (Not even the posh Asiana service to Korea and China could quite bring back that proud feeling...)

I still hold the airline industry in high regard, considering its potential to bring different peoples and cultures together for a more harmonious world. And I know a quality airline when I see it. Most importantly, a quality airline can inspire a great sense of pride, both in customers and in employees. This is a feeling that I must carry into Sarah, as I certainly want her to be the kind of flight attendant that United needs in order to be that quality airline again. And for that matter, having this sense will help myself whenever I am sending notes of compliments, suggestions, or complaints to United, Lufthansa, or any other airline that I fly on.

Tenth anniversary!

2009-12-03T10:48:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of Sarah's first-ever service as an international flight attendant at United Airlines, and I did not let it go by unnoticed.

Sarah worked Flight 930, the midday nonstop from San Francisco to London Heathrow, on December 2, 1999. That also was the very flight that had started my third European journey, taking me to Amsterdam and Cologne, and that's why I made that very flight Sarah's first international stint. I have very warm memories of that flight, because it was the only chance for me to see the Northern Lights, and because it was the only good part of the most miserable international journey of my life. In particular, having one inflight audio channel play only Melissa Etheridge was priceless - I've since always referred to United Airlines as "the dyke-friendly United" even to this day.

I want Sarah to narrate her experiences on this flight in a way only a nervous transwoman, a baby dyke, a newly minted flight attendant, and an aviation fanatic ever can. Sarah will be receptive to the various sounds in the plane - and while I had her describe the drone of the Pratt & Whitney engines, I now want her to specifically identify the engines as the PW4090, the model used to power United's long-range 777s. She will also note that most of her Economy passengers are British and European rather than American. And of course, there must also be the apprehension over trying to enter the UK with a passport that correctly identifies her as Sarah, but still insists on identifying her as male.

Much of my plans for the novel slipped away due to long-term inactivity. I need to re-plot how I want to approach the novel. My intention to write this as a memoir of Sarah's flight attendant work, and womanhood, remains stronger than ever, but I need to constantly refine this approach, especially since I now have last month's European experiences to add to my cultural resources to draw from.

Hoping to resume writing sooner than later!

Trans developments

2009-12-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

During and after my European tour, I was practically unable to blog at all - or write any new material for Sarah.

But I must now note some key developments in the trans community:

Los Angeles Times sports commentator Mike Penner, who had changed his identity to Christine Daniels and started living as a woman, committed suicide last weekend. While Penner/Daniels was a top-notch, sharp-witted sports commentator and enjoyed full support of the Times management, the rampant level of machismo and hatred in the sports world was too much to handle - and even reverting to the male identity was not enough, and life became too overwhelming.
I was in San Francisco, again, during the weekend as well - and ended up having some great time with local trans activists. One was San Jose-based Nori Herras-Castaneda, who works tirelessly to help LGBTs and HIV+ folks in Silicon Valley; she also has the greatest husband any woman can hope for, and the three of us had a great lunch. The others were longtime BFFs Paula Santos and Louise Kastro, whom I had first met during the Pride weekend. Louise is a nurse, while Paula works in the San Francisco city government and has done a lot to advance the trans cause in San Francisco. I value all three as friends, especially due to their high intelligence levels.
Just last night, I attended a fundraiser for Dr. Dana Beyer, a distant Facebook friend of mine from Maryland who is running to become the first openly transgender state-level legislator nationwide. I loved her eloquence on Facebook, and again last night in person. Dr. Beyer also informed me that another transgender professional, Amanda Simpson of Tucson, Arizona, has also made history by being hired at the US Department of Commerce; having known of Amanda's public coming out at Raytheon and over the Tucson TV airwaves back in 2001 first-hand, I am very moved at her progress as well. In fact, Dr. Beyer is helping out with making arrangements for Amanda's move to the DC area.

While the death of Christine Daniels is a sad news, I am happy to be connecting with the community again - and that is an inspiration for me to resume my writing. If Dana Beyer and Amanda Simpson can advance the trans cause with politics and government service, I must pitch in with my own contributions - though that will be literary and linguistic rather than political, and that's the way I like it just fine.

For Sarah

2009-10-19T23:41:00.001-07:00

A 1940 jazz rendition of Rhapsody in Blue - the theme music for Sarah's employer.

I'm looking forward to my European trip, now only a few more days away. I will not be flying on Sarah's airline, but I will be flying on its main partner Lufthansa, and I will remain a United Premier into 2010. And more importantly, I need to walk away from Europe with inspirations that I can apply to Sarah's life story - inspirations and motivation have been very lacking as of late for me.

My life has been extremely high-stress (even a getaway to Vegas ended up being trashed, with an uncooperative new friend), but thinking of flying away to a saner place, either with Sarah or otherwise, is always a good thing.

The Facebook friend who shared this video with me remarks that many renditions of Rhapsody in Blue are played way too fast, like a rat race. I've heard a few renditions played at quite different tempos indeed. I personally prefer it fast - because I often think of my experiences being stuck in a hellhole city, where I'd like my getaway flight turned around and departing as soon as possible. Indeed, it happened to me at least twice - Amsterdam in 1999 and Indianapolis in 2008 - and both getaway flights were indeed on United. I also had the misfortune of hearing a slower rendition on XM Satellite Radio, and thanks to the digital compression, it sounded like my most recent United flight - a junk Boeing 737 staffed with a total a-hole of a purser; I'd rather listen on my iPod with superior sound quality, and think about flying in business class and being pampered by Sarah.

The first few days after 9/11

2009-09-29T10:59:00.001-07:00

Based on what I've gathered from real-life United crewmembers, the first few days after 9/11, as the airline got back into the air after a few days of total shutdown of the US airspace, were a very emotional experience. Instead of elite customers yelling at flight attendants for not giving them the royalty treatment, they thanked each other and bonded like family members.

Snopes.com, a website which tracks and debunks urban legends, came across a story from United 564, which flew from Denver to Washington Dulles, the first day the US airspace was re-opened. The pilot of that flight gave specific instructions on how to fight back against another terrorist attack, as soon as the aircraft door was closed. His words are very poignant - they are less about fear, and more about hope and humanity. (Far preferable to a pilot on a competing airline, who tried to convert his passengers to Christianity, and scared them instead.) Snopes.com verified the story as being true.

Snopes.com

I love flight crews that report to their jobs with pride and passion. It's harder to see that given the worsening treatment for flight crews today, but nevertheless, my safety is the most important concern for these unsung heroes. The good treatment I've gotten from the vast majority of Sarah's coworkers is one key reason why I continue to fly her airline (and now count myself as an elite customer). I must make sure that Sarah carries this spirit of service as she continues her job.

If Kwan Yin represents the ultimate in kind-hearted transgender women, and "Ann" Coulter (widely believed to be trans, partly because of her Adam's apple and masculine appearance but more importantly because she's said things that a misogynistic male Log Cabin Republican would love to say) the ultimate in the most vile, I want Sarah to be found near the Kwan Yin end of the spectrum, certainly.

Sarah's employer and its future

2009-09-18T10:58:00.002-07:00

Just came across an article on USA Today, where there is some discussion on the makeover of United Airlines.

I do feel that Sarah's bosses are trying something constructive, after years of driving completely into the ground what used to be the greatest airline in the world. Nevertheless, in my opinion, both as a customer and a follower of the aviation industry, more needs to be done. It's great that performance bonuses are given to flight crews of on-time flights, but they are token payments at most; I need to see bonuses that mean something, and more importantly, better pay levels for flight attendants so that better candidates can be recruited and retained. As is, the employees have trouble keeping their morale high. I still have a very bad aftertaste from the a-hole purser on my flight out of Toronto back in May.

The makeover of the first and business class products is a huge step in the right direction, and the new products are competitive with highly regarded foreign airlines. However, it's not enough to have nice premium cabins, when they still sit in 20-year-old junk planes with unrenovated, obsolete economy cabins. Negotiations are still ongoing for a large order of new planes to replace the aging 747/757/767 fleet, and I hope to see something nice come out of that.

Some aggressive marketing should help too. United marketing has been very timid lately, and it's downgraded most of its Los Angeles services to Express puddle jumpers, which makes it more likely that loyal customers, including me, will defect to a competitor.

Low fares can only take an airline so far. The best airline is one that charges reasonable fares and delivers top-notch experience, something United used to do well in the past, but has since forgotten. One reason why I used to look forward to showing up over the skies of a great faraway city aboard a United plane was because of this perception of innovation and quality, which simply no longer exists today. Now, when I show up at a foreign city in a United plane, I just don't feel that pride, surrounded by newer planes from formerly "lesser" airlines that have continued to innovate. And the timid marketing and shrinking route network means that it's less and less likely that a United flight is the most convenient means of heading for my desired destination anyway.

It'll be a shame to see the airline that was an integral part of many of my past travels become irrelevant, or nonexistent even. A turnaround can't come soon enough. And more importantly, Sarah must continue to be able to fly - and more importantly, feel pride in her airline. Let's see how the next few years pan out.

On a related note, a USA Today blog post quotes an internal employee memo as saying that October 28th will be the final day of Boeing 737 service at United. A special 737-300, designated Flight 737, will start off at Washington Dulles, visiting Chicago, Denver, and Los Angeles before finishing in San Francisco, with farewell ceremonies in each city. The 737 had served United since 1968, when it had become the launch customer for the -200 variant. I hope for a new generation of new planes - be it more of the A320 series or the return of the 737 in the form of the modern Next Generation models - to soon take their place, and combined with Sarah's expertise, deliver superior services for the customers.

Current status

2009-09-16T00:20:00.003-07:00

The good news: while I have not really resumed my novel work, I am nevertheless moving forward. I have just started my Kirsten and Sarah combined interview in Los Angeles.

One crazy thing I have already discovered: their child will be named Sanford, and will have Sarah's eyes. In a way, Sanford lives on, as Sarah's baby boy.

I am having this interview take place in the form of me visiting the couple's upscale apartment just west of Koreatown. Initially it'll only be Kirsten and Sanford, with Sarah joining later due to a flight delay. She'll certainly be cursing about the sorry state of United Airlines aircraft these days!

I'm arriving straight from Las Vegas, where I had spent the previous evening at a Mariah Carey concert. (Indeed that was the case on Saturday the 12th, and this interview is dated Sunday the 13th.) That's a sure way to drive up Kirsten's jealousy level (she's a megafan herself), especially after Sarah had told her about seeing my autographed Mariah Carey CD back in Seoul last November. There will be tons of other things to gossip about.

I am keeping the residence a rental apartment, rather than a condo, due to the couple's decision that Southern California will not be an acceptable home for much longer. Relocation plans shall be discussed as well.

Let's see what I end up with.

Some updates

2009-08-09T11:33:00.003-07:00

I haven't even blogged lately!

Between a crazy work situation, and my addiction to Facebook and The Sims 3, I have pretty much given up on blogging for the past several weeks. Also, I will certainly NOT be joining the UCLA Extension residency taught by my mentor Gayle Brandeis - I just don't have any worthwhile material.

But it's been interesting. A few days ago, I was in San Francisco again for an overnight business trip - and while I did not socialize with anyone (in fact, I found my San Francisco-based girlfriend to be so obnoxious and potentially dangerous, that I cut off all contacts with her), I did find a karaoke bar where Sarah and Kirsten might hang out.

On The Sims 3, I have more personality tweaking options which can be quite elucidating. I decided to start another household with three adult women - me, a Calista Flockhart lookalike as my wife, and Sarah. My wife has gone on to have an affair and bear an unemployed male neighbor's love child, while I have since divorced her and married Sarah. Sarah is a total slob, and always licks her dishes clean - something I had her do on a flight assignment.

And speaking of Sarah's job, I am in touch with a retired 16-year veteran United flight attendant - and he's been participating in the airline business simulation as my alliance partner. He's giving me some insider info on United Airlines, and it is NOT pretty. Sarah may not have a job much longer, based on what I gather; United is being transformed into a Pan Am-like operation with weakening domestic network, which is a doomed strategy given United's aging fleet. The Express subcontractors are now responsible for most of United's domestic network; I did notice that even trunk lines like Los Angeles - Seattle are now Express. The mainline services - be it the renovated 767s, the p.s. 757s to New York, or the 2-class 777s - are completely pathetic. He's run into some extremely loyal customers (at United's top-tier elite level, at that) who are now so fed up that they've defected to competitors, including Delta, which has been very well-run lately, and will even get stronger once it integrates Northwest into its system. (This low-level elite customer does share the frustrations.) He thinks there won't be a United anymore in 5-10 years; either it will have failed, or merged into a stronger competitor like Continental. It would indeed be a huge shame for Sarah's career to end, and for me to see the failure of an airline that was the key component of my most treasured travel memories.

Quick Updates

2009-07-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

My work Internet connection is FUBAR - it may have been targeted by South Korean pro-government hackers, like my laptop. After all, it's unacceptable for them that I support the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the US military - oh, the horrors of flaming faggots taking over the God-fearing US Armed Forces and the defense of the hackers' fair country from the Communist Menace.

But in the meantime, the following (in addition to a high-stress day job) have kept me super-busy:

Karaoke nights around Los Angeles. I'm really enjoying karaoke - especially when I am starting to get more and more of the female range AND tone.
Las Vegas, where I ended up buying a vacation timeshare. Good thing I can afford to spend money on things like this. Could be something to share with my new girlfriend.
OutFest, the annual LGBT movie festival in Los Angeles. I had to schmooze with many high-powered LGBT producers in Hollywood, including, of course, transgender icons Calpernia Addams and Andrea James.
Even more time with Calpernia, at her new routine, Transfixed, performed with Jer Ber Jones, a drag performer.

My novel seems to be taking a back seat at this time, and I don't expect to be able to enter the UCLA Extension residency at this time. But it was nevertheless priceless to spend Sarah's 32nd birthday, celebrating it with none other than Calpernia, the one who shall play Sarah, should Perfect Girl ever become a movie.

On the aviation front, my airline business simulation is doing nicely, though my approach this time was too conservative, and I am not growing my business as well as I'd like. I did have some nice milestones, however - I co-founded the game's greatest airline alliance, and from my Athens hub, managed to kill a Prague-based competitor and turn Prague into my second hub. Most importantly, a Puerto Rico-based alliance partner is run by someone who lives in Florida in real life, and flew for United Airlines as a flight attendant for 16 years before being forced to retire for health reasons. I hope this person will be a gold mine of information for me - he says he was rated to be an international purser, and at the time of the 9/11 attacks, often indeed worked Flight 175, one of the hijacked flights. Lots of insights that can only be obtained from a real-life coworker of Sarah's - and I'm starting to exchange information. Although I have not told him that Sarah is trans or lesbian, I've told him everything else about her.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell (10th anniversary of PFC Winchell's death)

2009-07-05T23:04:00.003-07:00

As I spent this past 4th of July weekend, most of it driving to/from Denver, I was reminded of one sad anniversary. This is the tenth anniversary of the savage death of PFC Barry Winchell. Winchell had been dogged by rumors about a gay relationship he supposedly had, and of course, the rule Don't Ask, Don't Tell was in effect at the time (as it is today).

The media did not understand, and did not know, how to handle this matter, because Winchell's relationship was with a pre-operative transwoman. Of course, it's none other than Calpernia Addams, who, now post-op, is now in Los Angeles and my friend. People couldn't even agree on whether to consider Calpernia a woman that she really was, or a man by reason of physical anatomy, and this was important, because this would determine whether Winchell's relationship was gay or straight.

This senseless tragedy was a clear reminder that transpeople are out there, and are NOT going away, and as long as that is the case, homophobic legislations like DADT and Defense of Marriage Act will have problems standing. Such legislations assume a clear delineation between men and women, but in reality, such clear delineation is wishful thinking.

This tragedy completely destroyed Calpernia's privacy, and outed her completely. She pretty much lost the option of living a stealth life and blending into the society. However, this only made her stronger; she's presented herself in the Winchell matter and well beyond with composure and dignity. I am very grateful to her for that - and for showing a very dignified face of the transgender community. Calpernia has since moved on to a more fulfilling, productive life in her own right, and now asks that people do NOT bring up the issue of PFC Winchell, as it's such a painful chapter of her past.

This reminds me - I need to get back to Calpernia's memoir, Mark 947, and start reading it. But the memoir deals with many other painful issues, and PFC Winchell is just one of many that scar her life. I don't think I'm ready to deal with all the theocratic negativity and other things yet. In fact, I may never be ready.

And I must join Calpernia, the surviving family of PFC Winchell, and many others in demanding that DADT be replaced by a much more sensible policy - one that allows openly gay servicemembers, and punishes soldiers solely on actual misconduct. I also find it appalling that a talented Arabic/Persian/Korean translator, Lt. Dan Choi, has been discharged under DADT, and even more appalling that the far-right theocratic Korean-American community will NEVER even allow a fair discussion of Choi and his issues.

Thoughts from Denver

2009-07-04T18:41:00.003-07:00

I am spending the 4th of July weekend in Denver, which is about 850 miles from my place if I fly on one of Sarah's planes, but 1,000 miles, as it turns out, with my car. While Denver is a pleasant city in its own right, I feel that it's tame compared to cities on the West Coast or farther east, and its value primarily is as a regional transportation hub and gateway to the Rockies.

I don't think Sarah would be spending too much time in Denver, despite Denver being a major United Airlines hub. She might be just coming in from California, and going off to another point on a different flight after a quick rest.

But if Sarah ever bothers to spend time here, she might find a few places to hang out at. The Capitol Hill neighborhood, like its Seattle counterpart, is heavy on LGBT culture, and I indeed found a few lesbian bars that Sarah might want to hang out at, though they're kinda tiny. In any case, Capitol Hill is tame compared to its Seattle counterpart, or comparable neighborhoods in San Francisco or Los Angeles, but given that this is the Rockies and the prairies, where theocracy and homophobia run rampant, whatever scraps the progressive Denver atmosphere can offer will be like seeing an oasis in the desert. But honestly, I am far more likely to envision Sarah, either alone or with Kirsten, hanging out in other lesbian enclaves, probably Boulder or Estes Park; Estes Park also happens to be the entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park, where Sarah could put some of her hypoxia training to good use, because the air is so thin up there. At 12,000 feet, even a short hike can be extremely challenging, as I found out the hard way today.

Thinking of Sarah, I even ended up driving out to Denver International Airport, passing by the site of the old Stapleton Airport in the process. Denver International is so huge, that while its grounds stretch south to I-70, it's a 10-mile drive from the entrance to the terminal. But it was good to see some of Sarah's planes coming in to land in the shower. Denver is the last remaining United hub that I have NOT used as an origin or a final destination (I used Washington-Dulles two months ago, Chicago-O'Hare two years ago, and use San Francisco and Los Angeles all the time), and this was my first-ever visit to the landside of the airport. I do hope I can fly into Denver in the future, if only to explore the Rockies further.

It's almost 8PM and I am completely wasted. My plan is to start my drive back to Los Angeles around sunrise.

My photos on Calpernia's blog

2009-07-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

After our meeting together last night, I sent Calpernia Addams a couple of Facebook messages, sharing my transgender photo collection from South Korea and Hong Kong.

The Korean collection has now made it to Calpernia's high-profile blog:

Calpernia.com

Glad to be able to help spread the cultural insights wide and far.

Some updates...

2009-07-01T01:16:00.005-07:00

Yep, that's me hanging out with Calpernia Addams.
Could become the cover for Perfect Girl as well!
(In that case, Calpernia as Sarah and me as Kirsten)

I've been very exhausted lately - I've been functioning like a socialite as of late, attending a zillion functions and going through a ton of time and money. All for a good cause, however.

First of all, one of the people I ended up meeting in San Francisco (edit: name and link removed) hit it off with me quite a bit - to a point where she's gone ahead and listed me as her girlfriend on Facebook! Well, I wasn't exactly looking forward to dating, but I could indeed use a dating life right now. And on top of this, since this "love flame" of mine is a transwoman herself, I now have a first-person look at a relationship between two trans lesbians, which I could translate into Sarah's first relationship, that with Martha.

And just two days after spotting Calpernia Addams (and her spotting me) at San Francisco's Pride Parade (but going nowhere beyond that), I met with her again, this time at Lucky Strikes Bowling Alley in Hollywood. Calpernia co-hosted a fashion show to benefit the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals; being a cat lover myself, I was very happy to attend this event, and have some chances to discuss various things with Calpernia while at it. Calpernia really entertains the idea of me asking her to play Sarah, if Perfect Girl ends up in a movie deal. She does consider herself too old, however, and she would rather play Sarah's mother or older sister, she says, but if she must be Sarah herself, it'd be no problem losing her fear of heights and becoming a lesbian, she told me.

In the meantime, the website project that I had previously mentioned is taking too much toll on me. I will withdraw from that project, so that I can do my day job and also resume writing Sarah's story. After all, I want to have a working draft by mid-August, so that I can take it to the UCLA Extension residency class and have my trusted mentor Gayle Brandeis work with me to refine it.

Another note

2009-06-27T18:21:00.002-07:00

As I walked around San Francisco today, I came across a nice reminder of Sarah.

At Powell subway station, I saw a blonde lady in a navy blue coatdress giving directions to a passerby trying to buy a BART ticket. But before I could snap a photo, the lady walked away, a travel bag in tow, entering the BART system. Her coatdress, with the wing pin and white trim, was clearly a United flight attendant uniform.

It was so nice to see one of Sarah's coworkers, presumably reporting for duty, and helping out other people while at it. Not only that, but this is San Francisco, Sarah's home domicile as well as the primary gateway for United's Pacific services.

Again, I really believe in the power of air travel to make connections between faraway peoples and cultures. Sarah, and her colleagues at United and other fine airlines, have my thanks for making it all happen.

San Francisco for the Pride festivities

2009-06-27T09:15:00.002-07:00

I drove overnight from Los Angeles, and am logging on from San Francisco area, just north of the airport. My visit is to participate in the Pride activities.

As I drove drowsy by the airport, looking at the maintenance hangar for Sarah's airline, several thoughts went through my head.

Exactly 15 years ago (plus a few days), I went through San Francisco's airport for the first time, and it was to take my first international itinerary, flying to Seoul. Of course, it was on United - the first of several international itineraries I'd end up taking on United. Even to this day, United 807 is the most special flight I've ever taken (though United 2, in early 1996, which took me to London on a Boeing 777, is a close second). I keep thinking of that flight, whose details I still remember clearly.

In a recent complaint letter to United (which concerned my most recent United itinerary, leaving the US but only to Toronto), I discussed how I tend to hold air travel and airlines in a high regard, due to their ability to bring different people and cultures together, and hopefully prevent conflicts. I was mad because the purser on the flight out of Toronto had left me feeling really insulted (and more importantly, failed to live up to the premise of air travel). I seriously feel this way; it was more than a mere charm offensive to get some nice concessions from United customer service (and I did get a concession in the form of a voucher). As I work on Sarah and her story, I need to make sure that Sarah's dedication to her service to her passengers will truly reflect this mentality.

On a different note, with the death of Michael Jackson just two days ago, I can't get him out of my head. He was a very unconventional character - his androgynous presentation certainly was unconventional - but I would not expect a man of such talent to be conventional anyway. And back to United 807 in 1994, I had spent some time listening to Michael Jackson during the long 11 1/2-hour flight; Bad was one of the albums I listened to on my portable CD player, which had only 3 hours of battery power. Michael Jackson today reminds me of Flight 807 - and of all the other great music I listened to aboard that flight as well, including one of Jackson's proteges, Mariah Carey, who was my idol at that time. Of course, once in Seoul, I ran across too many Mariah Carey fans - and made sure to report back to Mariah herself in New York a few months later; of course, the journey back to the US, and on to Mariah, were on United as well, all the more reason why I believe in the ability of air travel to make connections between people.

As I participate in the Pride festivities today and tomorrow, these thoughts will occupy me. I want to make sure Sarah will carry some of these thoughts into her story. And I do look forward to getting on one of Sarah's planes again soon - to make new memories and connections.

Gender transition in China

2009-06-17T08:25:00.002-07:00

China is said to be considering the formalization of the gender transition process, according to a BBC report.

The proposals sound a lot like what South Korea enacted in 2006. It is less about the transperson him/herself, and more about preserving the Confucian social hierarchy and gender roles. Only singles over 20 years old will be able to apply for legal gender change, and even then, family notification/consent will be required. I'd also presume that a transwoman who doesn't live up to the stereotype (in other words, anyone who's not a hyper-feminine flaming boycrazy fag queen) will not be cleared at all; after all, trans lesbians, like me, are an unheard-of concept in Asia.

Nevertheless, having a consistent gender transition rule is not a bad thing at all. It does allow for a legitimate way to establish a transperson's new identity. I do hope that post-transition, a Chinese transperson can have full heterosexual marriage and adoption rights as well; South Korea ensured this with its regulations, and this is better than what many US transpeople can claim.

Chastity Bono

2009-06-11T17:02:00.002-07:00

Chastity Bono is the daughter of Cher and the late Sonny Bono. She grew up in a very artistic setting in New York City, being the high school classmate of my favorite Greek Goddess Jennifer Aniston, among other things.

Today, Bono has issued a public statement, saying that she is a he, and he is a transman going through the early stages of gender transition.

One side of me - the hardcore lesbian side - is quite bummed. Chastity was a great lesbian power icon, and it's never easy losing a lesbian icon. On the other hand, Bono's future activism as a transman, bringing up the profile of great transpeople even further, will more than make up for the loss of him as a lesbian power icon. I also want to remember that some of the best men out there are transmen - while they went through the female socialization against their will, the more cooperative, holistic nature of female bonding makes them more empathetic, therefore better men.

Chastity Bono joins the ranks of other high-profile transgender transitions, the most famous being Alexis Arquette of the Arquette family. Best wishes to them all - and I hope Perfect Girl, once complete and published, can be part of the process in sharing the trans experience with a wider audience.

Working for trans activism

2009-06-09T10:37:00.002-07:00

In addition to my novel writing and other activities, it appears that I will be taking part in a web-based trans advocacy program, as sort of a webmistress.

The program will be in the form of a personal website of a trans activist in Hollywood. I know her well via Facebook and other contacts. No, this is not Calpernia Addams or Andrea James!

I do not wish to reveal any more details on this activist, nor my level of involvement with this project, until the website goes online. But I am honored to become a part of this project, another way that I can help the trans activists (in addition to my novel writing).

Let's see how this pans out!

Sarah might finally get the boost she needs...

2009-06-05T23:48:00.002-07:00

UCLA Extension has just mailed me a flyer, announcing two residency programs that consist of three 10-week classes and a 4-day residency. One of them is for screen writing, and the other is for novel writing.

At over $3,000, this is a huge investment of time and money. But I am not writing Perfect Girl for profit; I am writing it in hopes of enhancing the world's understanding of the transgender experience. In order to be eligible for the program, I must submit a draft of the complete novel, and I have until mid-August to do so. I will also need a one-page synopsis of the novel. It'll be LOTS of work coming up with the material, but if I want it bad enough, I should be able to put something together.

With this level of commitment, I also need to ensure that the program's setting is conducive to my creativity. It looks like I will be limited to at most seven classmates, with whom I will get to have intimate friendships. Moreover, the instructor is none other than my longtime mentor Gayle Brandeis; I expect my instructor to be not only a good teacher, but also have good chemistry with me, and seeing Gayle's name is pretty much a guarantee on both counts.

I have already notified Gayle of my intention to apply. Now, I need to come up with a game plan as to how I will proceed with coming up with a few hundred pages of Sarah's life story in just a few weeks. The draft will be horrible, but since I know that I can count on great feedback from Gayle and seven classmates, I'll be better prepared for lots of great tweaks. (The better writing styles of my classmates will also help tremendously, as inspirations.)

The four-day in-person residency is in March. Given my privacy, I think I can pull it off. Will see what happens!

Calpernia Addams update

2009-06-05T17:41:00.003-07:00

The lovely redhead, who shall be the one to play Sarah should Perfect Girl ever become a movie, has two updates.

First, she did this wonderful interview with San Francisco Examiner, touching upon several key topics, including the rampant California theocracy/homophobia, the recent uproar over a Sacramento radio show encouraging violence against trans children, President Obama's progress (or lack thereof) working for LGBT rights, and of course the looming tenth anniversary of the death of her boyfriend PFC Barry Winchell.

Second, Calpernia announced, on her Facebook profile, that she's been asked to become the Grand Marshal of this year's San Francisco Pride Parade. This will be fantastic, especially since I will indeed be in San Francisco for the festivities. A few Facebook users jokingly commented that since Calpernia's straight, she's not quite the most logical Grand Marshal, but I added another joke comment that I needed to turn Calpernia into a lesbian, if only to cast her in the movie version of Perfect Girl. (Of course, sympathetic straights are very welcome to be Grand Marshals at gay pride parades - the most recent example being talk show host Stephanie Miller at Los Angeles Pride last year.)

I'm very grateful for all the hard work Calpernia does, often in collaboration with her BFF Andrea James. I certainly look forward to running into her again at the San Francisco Pride. (Hoping for a photo op together - it could indeed be the cover for Perfect Girl, with Calpernia as Sarah and me as Kirsten, though Calpernia may be a few years too old for that. :) ) I also hope to help their cause in other ways; if I had a way of hooking South Korea's Harisu up with Calpernia and Andrea on her next US visit, I surely would love to!

Sarah, here's your new plane!

2009-06-04T17:07:00.003-07:00

A Facebook friend in the aviation industry shared the following article:

Chicago Tribune

Sarah's bosses have not ordered a single new plane since 2002. But it appears that as the fleet ages (I was very unhappy with the 767, even more so with the renovation), new planes will be necessary. And as the aviation industry slumps, and existing aircraft orders are cancelled by other airlines, United may get a chance to put in a large order of new planes, on favorable terms.

Aircraft models under consideration, supposedly, are the Boeing 787, the Boeing 777-300 ER, the Airbus A350, and an improved Airbus A330. They will replace the current fleet of Boeing 767s, Boeing 747s, and early-model Boeing 777s. Even the 757s are due for replacement, and possible replacements are a smaller-scale Boeing 787 (under development) or the re-introduction of the Boeing 737.

Anything that lets Sarah more efficiently serve her passengers, in more comfort, is good news to me. The new planes will also keep the passengers less disgruntled and more content, and that means fewer complaints or air rage incidents for Sarah to deal with. Most importantly, United will be back on level footing against the Asian airlines that have recently acquired state-of-the-art aircraft, and that means there will indeed be more paying customers to pay Sarah's salary and other expenses.

The order should be firm later this year, but it should still take several more years for the new planes to actually enter service. I do hope the industry will be in good enough of a shape, and that Sarah will continue to hold her job as the best purser that United Airlines has ever had. I do know that she'll still be well under 40 by the time she starts working the first of the new planes - still very young (and pretty) by international United purser standards!

More on that flight to hell + California nightmares

2009-05-28T22:17:00.003-07:00

I actually decided that it'd make a lot of sense to write an email to a dedicated elites-only address at United Airlines. I specifically dwelled on how the purser of my flight out of Toronto managed to insult, rather than serve, his customers.

I mentioned that the vast majority of United flight attendants live up to my, and their own, high expectations, and also that I hold air travel and airlines in high regard for bringing different peoples and cultures together, but this one exception has left me quite insulted.

I did not mention that I am writing a novel based at United Airlines, but Sarah was constantly on my mind, as an image of a top-notch United flight attendant, as I wrote that email.

Again, more often than not, the sight of one of Sarah's planes coming into a hostile airport (such as Amsterdam or Indianapolis) to pick me up is a very wonderful thing. I know I am about to get to a better place. My experience out of Toronto shattered that image - primarily because I was flying back to the Los Angeles theocratic hellhole, but also because of the poor service.

My writing mentor, learning of my experience via Facebook, hinted that the purser from hell could easily become a key character in Perfect Girl, throwing challenges into Sarah's line of work. It's definitely a great idea. I do want to push and challenge Sarah to the breaking point. The interview process already does a lot of that, asking how she would handle a hellish coworker like this, but there is nothing like on-the-job challenges.

In any case, I need to return to Sarah very soon. (And have her actually get mad at me for declaring her exhibitionism to the world.) I'm too mad at this point, however, as the California theocratic thugs have not only taken away my civil rights, but also my livelihood. I still have a job and a company but I am no longer able to perform my duties thanks to their false witness (a clear violation of Article #9 of the California Constitution, also known as the Ten Commandments) getting me banned from a major work site of my company. I'll have to work in exile via email while my reps actually do the supervising on-site.

Eventually, I'll have no choice but to part ways with the Holy State of California once and for all, before murdering transpeople will actually earn the murderer some praises and protection from the local police chief, as is done in the Central American hellholes many Californians came from. I don't know how Perfect Girl will shape up, in the wake of Prop 8, its aftermath, and the ever-worsening California theocracy. I've flirted with the idea of relocating Sarah and Kirsten to London, then Vancouver, but eventually dropped that idea. Plus, their marriage is technically heterosexual and legal. But I don't think California makes any sense as the land of the happily ever after. I do want to keep Sarah aboard at United, and Kirsten as well for a US-based employer, but on the other hand, Kirsten can telecommute, and even Sarah could commute to a United hub from a major Canadian city. I'll see what I end up doing.

A thought

2009-05-26T15:16:00.004-07:00

The following is a Facebook note I just wrote, as I made my way back to Los Angeles from Toronto on Sarah's airline.

I am certainly NOT in a good mood, and Sarah's employer was one of the many reasons today. While I always listen to Rhapsody in Blue, the George Gershwin composition that is the official theme music of United Airlines, whenever I am on a United plane, that was not the case today.

As I travel from Ontario to Ontario...

As in, the Province of Ontario in Canada, to the city of Ontario, east of Los Angeles, in the US state of California (which was named by settlers who had hailed from the Canadian province). Actually, I landed at LAX rather than Ontario Airport, but the title works better with two Ontarios.

I may have been flying quite a bit lately - enough to qualify as Premier (low-level elite customer) at United Airlines - but I still feel excited about taking a trip by air. And if a United flight is involved, it's even better - because of all my past trips on that airline (one reason why I am Premier now) and the fact that I am using the airline as the setting for my novel in progress. Often, seeing the familiar United tail at a faraway hostile airfield (whether it's Amsterdam or Indianapolis) meant a sense of relief - relief that I was now flying to somewhere saner. Just as lovely: showing up over the skies of a great faraway city in a United plane (preferably the Boeing 777). But today, traveling from Ontario to Ontario on United, excitement was the last thing I could find, and it was dread instead.

My first leg took me from Toronto to Chicago, and I was very displeased with the purser, who was an elderly man with a French language pin on his uniform. His announcements seemed to mock the intelligence of his passengers rather than thanking them for their patronage. Examples:

"At this time, all electronics must be off. Not "airplane mode," but completely off."

"Please give your undivided attention to the safety demonstration. If you don't want to, at least shut up so that others can."

"We are preparing to land. Make sure to bring your seatback and tray tables to their upright and locked positions. And wake up any inattentive passengers."

Not even a "thanks for choosing United" after landing, just a whole bunch of insulting instructions. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't rub in his airline's name into his announcement (except for once at the end of the safety demonstration); if this were my first United flight, it would certainly have been my last. Not even a mostly empty Economy Plus section (as opposed to a fairly full Economy Minus) would've been enough to mollify me.

I've seen a number of flight attendants do nonstandard announcements, and those at Southwest and Alaska are quite funny, but I've never experienced such an insult. This brings that old railroad mentality - "passengers are the most obnoxious form of freight" - back to life. Needless to say, I responded to United's post-flight survey and rated this flight very negatively; when a Premier complains, the management certainly better listen. Fortunately, I've had far better luck with the vast majority of United flight attendants, and I will make sure my novel protagonist, Sarah Radcliffe, lives up to the best of their standards (while still having to put up with an occasional cut-rate coworker like the purser today).

The second leg to Los Angeles was to be flown with a Boeing 757, but ended up being flown with an international Boeing 767 featuring the new lie-flat business seats. I was not happy at all with this plane; while the First and Business cabins had been re-done in the curvy 777-style interior and equipped with video-on-demand (VOD), the Economy cabin was still stuck in the 1980s, complete with damaged/stained interior panels, and its seats were the same 9-channel videotaped personal TVs (PTV) from the late 1990s. When the safety video was shown, the VOD showed the full video, but the PTVs went off, requiring flight attendants to do the live demonstrations to the soundtrack for the Economy passengers. If a plane can be grounded/refurbished to upgrade the front half completely, doing some minor tweaks to steerage (and adding VOD) wouldn't have been too much more trouble. Some Economy passengers got re-seated in Business, but they seemed to be Premier Executive at least, higher on the elite hierarchy than I'll ever be.

It did not help that instead of flying from a bad place to a good place, I was flying today from a good place (Toronto, home of North America's first legal gay marriages) to a really bad place (Los Angeles, the first place in the world to revoke legalized gay marriages). And sure enough, as the half-refurbished 767 was descending over San Bernardino, California upheld Proposition 8, the questionable gay marriage ban passed by the theocratic voters after tons of misleading ads from out-of-state and foreign interests. And it didn't help to remember that California is home to not one, but TWO United hubs - Los Angeles and San Francisco.

This was one of the worse air travel days for me (though I've had it worse before - United was once guilty of double-charging penalty on a reservation change, though I did eventually get both charges refunded - and I've once had it even worse on a major competitor that I've never patronized since).

I really look forward to a day in the near future, when I can see the familiar United tail show up to take me away to a better place, and I can actually look forward to the flight. I do want to fly enough in 2009 to keep my Premier status through 2010, and I want to enjoy it while I do it. Today was not one of those days.

Some developments

2009-05-19T17:03:00.003-07:00

I'm headed for Toronto in just a few more days. And yes, I am flying Sarah's airline again - and looking forward to it. And with a double elite-qualifying miles promotion at United through the end of June, I may be able to just keep my Premier status into next year!

Also, I decided that in addition to the San Francisco Pride, I will also attend the Los Angeles Pride two weeks prior. I am also working closely with trans and LGB activists around the US and the world closer than ever, relying much on Facebook. (In fact, I was honored to recently have one of the pioneers of the trans movement, Lynn Conway, ask to be my Facebook friend.)

Within DC last week, I had too much fun at Freddie's in Arlington, especially with its karaoke nights. I was able to sing a few different numbers, being able to hit all the high notes - with difficulty the first night, but perfectly fine the second night. There is no way I'll be able to walk into any heterosexual karaoke bar and pull it off, but in a trans-friendly karaoke bar, I should have no problems singing most numbers. My favorite trans nightclub in Los Angeles - Club Shine in San Fernando Valley - is letting its visitors sing starting next month, so I'll definitely be preparing a few numbers. Katy Perry's Sapphic anthem, "I Kissed A Girl," which I once sang back in Arlington, should really do well.

In and around Washington DC

2009-05-11T20:57:00.007-07:00

It's always nice to travel around and see new things. And the capital city of a nation is always a good place to be - especially if the nation involved is, for now, still the greatest superpower in the world.

Here are some sights I saw in and around the Washington, DC area over the past few days, that would be of interest to Sarah.

The National Gallery of Art, located toward the northeast end of the Mall, is the premier depository of fine art in the US. It normally handles American and European art, but I could find a small section containing hundreds of Chinese porcelain objects.

And what would a Chinese porcelain section be, without a likeness of Kwan Yin, the transgender Goddess of Mercy?

Here is something more typical of National Gallery of Art - a famous French sculpture.

Although there is nothing transgender about Auguste Rodin's famous Le Penseur, I had to throw it in, because in an early draft of a scene I wrote very early on, Sarah was supposed to nag Kirsten about her lesbianism while touring the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art together. The two would come across a smaller likeness of this sculpture, and Sarah would talk about how embarrassed the guy would feel, sitting naked and showing off his goods to someone who couldn't care less. Of course, back then, Sarah was supposed to be boycrazy, but since then, I've turned her into a hardcore lesbian herself too.

For all the muscle mass, Le Penseur isn't too well-endowed. Honestly, I think Sarah's pre-op body is better endowed, though at this time she should be under the knife, turning her oversized clit into a smaller clit AND a vagina.

Across the Mall, the Freer Gallery of Art is where most Asian collections are stored. Freer is part of the Smithsonian system, and is located next to the Smithsonian Castle. I do have to say, however, that Washington, DC is not the best place to see lots of Asian art - that's better done in other American cities, in Europe, and obviously in Asia.

Here is a likeness of Shiva, sprouting multiple sets of arms. Shiva's wife, Shakti, is often considered to be a different aspect of the same Shiva, and the two are often fused into one body (though I couldn't find such an example today). Kwan Yin takes both her transgender history and her multiple arms from Shiva.

Here is a Nepalese rendition of a male Avalokitesvara. And yes, he's got six arms.

Here is a 12th Century Kwan Yin, hailing from the Kingdom of Dali, which occupied what is now today's Yunnan Province, China. She certainly looks female, but she does have an exposed male torso.

This statue certainly reminded me of the one I had seen over at South Korea's greatest Buddhist temple, Bulguksa. Bulguksa's Kwan Yin looked a lot like this, except that she actually had a very nice six-pack on her very masculine torso.

Another Chinese Kwan Yin. Dating from about 703 (Tang dynasty, near Xi'an), this Kwan Yin is sprouting eleven faces. Unfortunately, most of the faces have been mutilated. Also notable is one exposed, rather flat boob.

Another Kwan Yin. This one is from Northern Song Dynasty, dated 1095, and depicts Kwan Yin of the Water Moon, who takes a special significance in Chan Buddhism (which is better known by its Japanese name, Zen).

The inscription says that those who look up to this likeness of Kwan Yin will be spared from the pain of having his/her father pass away early.

I toured a few more museums while I waited for a local friend (Karen Bradley of Democracy Cell Project) to return to her place, a mile east of the Capitol. I somehow ended up at the National Air & Space Museum, at the extreme southeast corner of the Mall, and the most popular Smithsonian museum. This was my third visit.

There is a section devoted to commercial aviation, and I am looking at an exhibit showcasing progress made by women in the industry. From the 1970s on, women started working as pilots. And as shown here, pregnant women could still fly as flight attendants. The uniform was issued by United Airlines in the early 1990s, and was the first official maternity flight attendant uniform.

Sarah certainly has no use for a maternity uniform, but it's glad to know that the flight attendant profession now has the room to accommodate the likes of her.

Time for a look at the life of a 1950s air stewardess. The mirror and the checklist show all the things that a 1950s air stewardess had to go through, in order to carry out her work.

In addition, an air stewardess had to be between 5'2" and 5'6" tall and under 125 pounds. She also had to be single, attractive to the point of being just below Hollywood standards, under early 30s, and of course female. A two-year college degree and/or a nursing credential was also required. I don't think Sarah could meet any of these requirements.

These requirements were dismantled starting in the 1960s, thanks to the civil rights laws of the era. In the 1970s, larger, more fuel-efficient aircraft appeared, not only increasing demand for flight attendants (and the clout of the flight attendant unions) but also allowing the masses - not just businessmen - to take to the skies. Flight attendants were seen as less of pretty faces/sex toys for the businessmen, and more of safety professionals to cater to the needs of the new air travelers.

Here is the first Boeing 247 built. It was one of many models that were launched by the airline that Sarah now calls home. (And just a few days ago, I flew on the last of that long lineage - the Boeing 777.) Early on, it competed in the England-to-Australia air race, before returning to United duty.

Notable is the United route map of the era, which ran east from Chicago to New York, and west to Denver and San Francisco, and from there up and down the West Coast. The current United network still uses Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, and San Francisco as key hubs, though the main East Coast hub is now Washington-Dulles, and New York is only a minor footnote.

This section is also populated by a number of other aircraft. One is the nose of an American DC-7 with the registration number of N334AA. That registration was re-used on a Boeing 767 in 1987, but that 767 was the first plane to be hijacked on September 11, 2001. Another noteworthy exhibit - and a new sight to me - is the nose of N601US, Northwest's first 747, which flew from 1970 to 1999. The cockpit is open to the public, but due to the height of the 747, entry is from the upper level rather than the ground level.

The gift shop has these flight attendant pictorial books for sale. The middle one is discounted to $8.

I picked up both books. The photos certainly hark back to an era when the profession of air stewardess was considered very desirable and prestigious. Unfortunately, the reality was that flight attendants of the era were little more than sex objects, especially noted in the micro-miniskirt uniforms of the late 1960s. I did see a photo of United flight attendants wearing early 1970s colorful minidress uniforms; mercifully, those minidresses were of respectable length.

It is a nice era when a tall transgender woman in her 30s, in a lesbian marriage, is more than able to get and keep her flight attendant position, and even climb up the seniority ladder, using nothing more than her expertise and friendly personality. All the best to Sarah!

I didn't buy this one, but I took a photo anyway. It is a United Airlines Boeing 737-300 in the airline's current "Rhapsody in Blue" paint job. The 737s are being phased out due to fuel costs, however. And if I needed a scale-model United airliner, I'd pick the 777 instead, preferably in the 1990s "Battleship Gray" paint job and sporting the "Worldwide Service" slogan on the nose. After all, that's how I often showed up in some of the world's greatest cities - including Washington, DC this time.

I soon caught up with Karen afterwards. She told me that her transgender cousin, Aaron Raz Link (whose memoir, What Becomes You, gives a very fresh angle into the trans experience), is now based in Southern California. Maybe I need to meet him, say hi, and talk about various trans issues.

In addition, I had a blast in Arlington, visiting its Unitarian church and meeting up with my trans lesbian contact there. I ended up visiting Freddie's, northern Virginia's greatest LGBT hangout, with a group of lesbians. I'll be returning to Freddie's one more time, for its weekly karaoke night, before my time in the area is up.

In Virginia now

2009-05-09T19:48:00.002-07:00

Too much stress, not enough progress on novel or anything, since my last post. I hope that changes over the next week, however.

I spent today flying from Los Angeles to Washington, DC. I had made sure to book on a United Airlines Boeing 777 - Sarah's favorite aircraft to work in, and my own favorite to travel in. No signs of Sarah today on board - among the eight flight attendants, six were men, and the women were a blonde and an African-American - but this was my first flight on a United 777 since starting to write about Sarah. My only regret was that I was flying on that 777 to show up in a familiar city, rather than a faraway exotic locale, as I used to do quite a bit in the past.

The 777 today was an XI - meaning three-class seating and international amenities (including personal video and air show) but merely a standard 777 rather than the Extended Range version. I did note the crew rest area in the right front of the Economy Plus cabin - complete with extra legroom. Due to the flight being a mere domestic run, the crew rest area was being used as extra revenue seats, though I wasn't allowed to get a seat assignment there, and had to settle for a standard Economy Plus seat on the left side (which is, nevertheless, a nice improvement).

It certainly was not a perfect flight (the plane was in bad need of a paint job), but it was nice to be on a plane that is an icon for both Sarah and me. I'm hoping there will be another flight on a United 777 later this year, to take me back to Europe and to ensure that I keep my Premier status. (When I return to California in a week, I'm downsizing to an A319.) In the meantime, I'll see what kinds of inspirations I can get for Sarah.

Even more travels...

2009-04-23T10:26:00.002-07:00

Looks like I won't have to wait for Memorial Day to give Sarah some hell. I will be flying on one of her airplanes even sooner, for a week in the Washington, DC area mid-May.

In fact, the outbound flight will be a rare domestic service using a 3-class Boeing 777, a normally international model, which is Sarah's favorite model to work in (and my favorite model to fly in). It is the domestic portion of the flight that ends up, unfortunately, in my (and Sarah's) least favorite city - Amsterdam.

Once in DC, I'll have three full days of work, but I'll have enough downtime for myself. Getting around the area should be cheap, given that I managed to find and book a Toyota Prius for next to nothing. And I'll be visiting the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington Virginia (uucava.org), where there is a lovely lesbian transwoman who runs the church's Rainbow Ministry. She had first contacted me via Facebook when I was in the midst of my Korean sojourn, and it'll be a very interesting experience to meet with her in person, 6 months and 7,000 miles later.

Looking forward to this experience AND Toronto. And maybe time to actually scribble something about Sarah and Kirsten - in the DC political setting while at that.

Watch out, Sarah!

2009-04-13T17:36:00.003-07:00

I'll be bringing my trademark nasty temper and impossible-to-please attitude straight into one of your planes again.

My Toronto itinerary is confirmed, and yes, I am booked on United, primarily to take advantage of extra perks. (A time-limited perk this time will be to have each mile count twice for the purposes of re-qualifying as an elite next year.)

Once in Toronto, I am pretty sure I'll have a great time. I'll be exploring many of its diverse neighborhoods - including its fashionable gay district, which was the first place in North America to have legal gay marriages. Hoping to walk away with lots of extra inspirations for Sarah's life story.

Travel Plans

2009-04-11T20:52:00.002-07:00

Barring any last-minute surprises, I should find myself in San Francisco at the end of June, to witness the 39th Annual Pride Parade. Looking forward to glorious pics of Dykes on Bikes as well as dykes of all descriptions (trans lesbians in particular). A few drag queens, plus studly fags in leather thongs, should be icing on the cake.

I'll be heading for San Fran in my car. I already made sure to take off the dealership license plate frames which identify the vehicle as being from Los Angeles; a Los Angeles-based Hyundai is definitely a reminder of the Korean-American religious extremism, and probably fair game for vandalism. I'll let the Kwan Yin-themed vanity plates do the talking instead.

Before then, I'm seriously considering a Toronto trip for Memorial Day. I've been thinking of one for years, and I guess it's time. To take advantage of elite-level perks, I'll be booking with Sarah's airline. Hoping to find Sarah on board! (Or better yet, hang out with her in Toronto.)

Two items for Kirsten

2009-04-10T16:20:00.003-07:00

I need to mention two things of note that will be very relevant to Kirsten.

First, Kirsten is very obsessive about cars. She's certainly not of the type who understands the mechanical bits of an automobile well, but she completely sucks up into the whole "you are what you drive" thing. This is a trait I gave her as a reflection of my own tastes (though I care about the inner workings as well). As I interview Kirsten, I'll have to dig into her decision to sell her car twice, both times for political reasons (Hyundai Elantra in 2004 over the W re-election, BMW 330i in 2008 over Prop 8). Of course, I'll make sure to let her know that had she kept driving her Hyundai, I might want to buy it from her now, as something for me to refurbish on my own. (As it turns out, Hyundai has put all its service manuals on a website, where anyone can register for free access. I've learned tons of gearhead info on my new Genesis. Of course, I must acknowledge that I am only to perform procedures that I understand, am qualified for, and have proper tools for.)

In fact, if something happens to my daily-driver Honda Accord, and I end up in a used Hyundai Elantra as a replacement, I might as well say that I "bought it from Kirsten" or whatever. :)

This is happening because I am actually going through another phase of my own obsession with automotive stuff. Washing/waxing my cars as my daily workout makes me appreciate my own vehicles more - and think about the mechanical maintenance stuff too, to make them run as good as they look. (And working on my cars myself saves a bundle, both in service/parts costs and in making my cars last longer.) Though in Perfect Girl, it'll be Sarah who's the mechanically inclined type - definitely blame her male upbringing for it.

Second, Kirsten's pregnancy must be progressing very nicely. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do a very good job of describing how Kirsten feels during the pregnancy; it simply can't happen, when I was not even born with a uterus. Even in Perfect Girl, the story will be told through Sarah's voice, and Sarah, like me, lacks a uterus. However, I do need to get the details of Kirsten's pregnancy down pretty well, for the final few chapters of the story. Fortunately, I seem to be in luck. I can follow a real pregnancy as it unfolds, and hopefully translate some of its details over to Kirsten.

As it turns out, the pregnancy that I will follow is none other than that of my mentor Gayle Brandeis. She already has a son in college and a daughter in high school, and everyone thought she'd be a young empty nester in a few more years. Everyone was wrong; she's somehow pregnant again. She's just started a new blog to document the experience, and I'll find it to be a very eye-opening experience. (And I'll make sure to say hi to Gayle in person a few times soon.)

Mama Redux

A few more items

2009-04-09T11:39:00.003-07:00

First, I came across a women's boudoir photographer, who is based in Portland but travels throughout major US cities for sessions. Her photos give me yet some more ideas on how Kirsten will be staging Sarah's photos. Her cameras and makeup artists have a way of turning even the nerdiest-looking woman into a sex goddess, and I need to see what kinds of work would go into giving Sarah a similar treatment. (Heck, Sarah and Kirsten might even hire a professional photographer themselves, rather than having Kirsten do all the work.)

Rachel Stephens Photography

Second, some thoughts on Las Vegas, where I spent the past weekend, away from the theocratic madness of Southern California. It was a very nice getaway, I must say.

My main blog

Some additional Sarah-related items do need mentioning. I played Rhapsody in Blue again twice, during the drives to/from Vegas, and as I listened, I vowed to get back on one of Sarah's planes sooner than later. A Memorial Day trip to Toronto is starting to look very good to me - even though most likely, my flight will be on a partner airline (Air Canada). Toronto is certainly a special place, as it was the first North American locale to legalize gay marriage. In the fall, I think I'll have to work something out to Europe as well. Asia can take a back seat for now, unless my Seoul routines resume (I don't look forward to that anytime soon, however, thanks to South Korea's government).

I am also planning to visit San Francisco at the end of June, in order to witness and photograph the gay pride parade. I'll be driving, however.

As mentioned in the main blog, I also picked up a very nice, very short American Apparel shirtdress. It has the material and tailoring of a very nice men's dress shirt, and if it weren't for the tie belt and a few inches of extra length (and a slightly more feminine cut), it would indeed be a men's shirt. I do feel that I am making a very Sarah-ish fashion statement in that shirtdress (though Sarah's "shirtdresses" would actually be shirts). While visiting American Apparel, I also picked up two pairs of tights made with organic material; the material is quite supportive, enough to allow me to even go "open-air" like Sarah. (Whether I'm enough of an exhibitionist to go "au naturel" like Sarah, that's a question mark, however.) As I tried my new purchases on, I was constantly thinking of Sarah, as well as the inherent mix of the masculine and the feminine embodied in the shirtdress (which comes out to be very sexy, as a result).

I'll start writing my next Sarah interview soon. I think she'll be very mad at me - for calling her an exhibitionist twice!

More transgender deities

2009-04-09T11:08:00.004-07:00

Ardhanarishvara

A bit more Wikipedia detective work taught me more about transgender deities.

As it turns out, Avalokitesvara, who is the original Indian male incarnation of Kwan Yin, was himself the Buddhists' reinterpretation of similar Hindu gods. A common theory holds that Shiva was the god that Avalokitesvara was modeled after, though it may also be Vishnu or some other god.

And in Hinduism, Shiva has a female consort named Shakti. The Hindus also recognized that while Shiva was male and Shakti was female, they simply were two different aspects of the same being. To that effect, they visualized the two sharing one body, and called it Ardhanari. Ardhanari is depicted as a half-male, half-female figure (usually the female half is on the left). Incidentally, some Japanese drag costumes carry the same theme even today, where the wearer gives only the left half of his body the femme treatment.

Wikipedia on Ardhanari

It's interesting to know that Kwan Yin's predecessor, like Kwan Yin herself, did not neatly fit into a gender box. More importantly, this also demonstrates the Hindu realization that divine concepts are too fluid to fit into a gender box anyway. Contrast this with Western religions, where gender roles have been more clearly defined (in favor of females in the earliest religions, and in favor of males in the Judeo-Christo-Muslim belief system).

When it comes to Perfect Girl, I need to touch on these spiritual items a bit, though Kwan Yin will be the one who takes more of a prominent role. And while Sarah's airline gave up on India after two attempts, Sarah will surely be visiting other locales where Hinduism is somewhat of a factor - possibly Thailand and/or Singapore.

As for Vishnu, he is the one best known for sprouting multiple arms. More than eight arms, and the blur of arms was simply described as a thousand. Of course, Kwan Yin also sprouts up to a thousand arms. I don't think Sarah has that ability, however. :)

Personally, however, in terms of the image, I prefer that of Kwan Yin - a classy goddess that inspires comfort among those who see her. She may not be overtly sexy like Aphrodite/Venus or the Hindu goddesses, but I prefer sexiness to be subtle anyway. That's how I need to present myself as well - and by extension, Sarah too (despite her well-documented exhibitionism).

Thinking of Sarah lifts me up...

2009-04-03T23:32:00.003-07:00

Life for me in the past month has been a living hell. The greatest insult, as far as I can tell, is the brazenness of the death cultists (especially those in the immigrant communities) especially after getting Proposition 8 passed, and the failure of the white liberal activists to even realize there is a problem. Sure, today saw "Midwest conservative" Iowa legalize gay marriages, but that's more proof that California is fucked up precisely because of Third World cultures. The last place I need to be in right now is the state of California (especially the theocratic southern third).

However, a series of Sarah-related things today made me feel a bit better. I had intended writing Perfect Girl to be a therapeutic experience, and that's what appears to be happening now.

During one of my work breaks, I logged on to Facebook, where I had recently joined a few dozen travel-related fanpages. One of them, of course, was for Sarah's employer, United Airlines, hoping that I could get some extra information from insiders (frequent fliers, employees, etc.). Not much for my use at the page, but I could browse through a few hundred photos, mostly of United aircraft flying into/out of major world airports but also some of the crewmembers, including a photo of a flight attendant training graduating class. That immediately made me think of Sarah, and made me wonder how her training would've unfolded back in 1999.

Here is a graduating class...

In the evening, I retired to the seclusion of my new car, Gwaneum One, which is a Hyundai Genesis that comes with an awesome Lexicon 17-speaker stereo. I hooked up my iPod to the stereo, then started browsing. I decided to play George Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue - United Airlines' theme music. As the composition unfolded, I closed my eyes; first, the Facebook photos went through my head, but before long, I was picturing myself flying somewhere on one of those planes myself. Before long, I was picturing myself sitting in my favorite seat - 8F in a 777, which would be the front row of the business class and part of a cozy 10-seat mini-cabin - and being attended to by none other than Sarah.

Even after I started playing other tracks, the Sarah theme stayed with me. It appeared that just about any song that I had listened to, during one of my previous overseas trips, was fair game. After all, until my long-term journey in South Korea and Hong Kong at the end of 2008, almost all of my flying had been done on Sarah's airline. It all culminated with Mariah Carey's remake of "Without You," which is a strong reminder of my experiences in 1994 - flying to Seoul, listening to plenty of Mariah during my one-month stay there, then flying to New York and meeting with Mariah herself later that year. Of course, all the relevant flying that year was done on United Airlines.

I even thought of my Sarah interview done in Seoul in November last year, where I was able to spill this whole story from 1994 to Sarah herself - finally letting her know why I made her a flight attendant, and why I had to send her to United, of all airlines.

Now I am having a better idea as to how to proceed with the Hollywood double interview. Originally, I was thinking of it as primarily a chance to meet with Kirsten, with Sarah coming in as second fiddle. But now, I need to make more of this. I'll have to get very detailed and picky with Sarah regarding her work experiences. I won't be afraid to spill the beans to her on what I love, and hate, about her airline. I'll even be sharing my experiences of playing that online airline simulation - and outright telling Sarah about what her bosses can do to make her work experience better (and the customer satisfaction ratings higher). We will end up having a very nice chat, with a technical/aviation slant.

A flight attendant playing with a 777 engine.
Sarah will probably do the same thing.

(On a less nerdy note, I might mention actress Calpernia Addams to Sarah, especially my brief meeting with her last July. I'll certainly let Sarah know that if Perfect Girl were ever to become a movie, Calpernia might be the best pick for playing Sarah; after all, they are both green-eyed redheaded transwomen who stand close to six feet tall, and Calpernia's middle name is Sarah too. Sarah might object though, because (1) Calpernia is scared of flying, (2) Calpernia is several years too old to be Sarah, and (3) Calpernia is boycrazy.)

In the meantime, I need to arrange some time off from work, and take to the skies myself. I do have elite status this year, so I want to make the most of it (though I don't think I'll be flying enough to retain elite status for next year). It'll be preferable to fly United, as I can expect a 25% mileage bonus - and I can also look for a real-life Sarah lookalike on board. I do need to get far away - most of Europe and East/Southeast Asia should be fair game. (Short of resuming my retreat, I don't feel like returning to Seoul at this time, primarily due to South Korea's theocratic Republican government.) I do have to say that if I stay within North America, Sarah's biggest competition won't be other airlines, but Gwaneum One, as I could use a road trip too. (I'll probably put off the grand road trip - the one all the way across North America - until next year.)

I need to be aboard one of these planes. Seriously.
Sarah should ensure my safety and comfort.

In the meantime, I'll see if driving to Las Vegas in Gwaneum One tomorrow will help. I don't have any reservations, but I do want to go if only to catch a show (I don't feel like gambling). And as long as it's not California (or some other theocracy like Arizona or Texas), it's good enough for me right now.

April Fool's Joke

2009-04-01T16:16:00.002-07:00

Perfect Girl is not only complete, but it has a publisher and is nominated for several key literary awards.

Okay, that's a complete joke. But the following item is real.

The French Air and Space Museum had its own April Fool's prank on its website, which stated that one of its Concordes was going to fly again. It would fly out west of Ireland for a supersonic run. The website has since removed the prank, but AFP reported it as real, and BBC also picked up on it. (BBC also says that if the flight were real, the preparation and re-certification of the aircraft would cost 2 million euro at least.)

The museum, located at Le Bourget Airport northeast of Paris, also happens to be important to Perfect Girl, as one of the venues where little Sanford hangs out with his grandfather and cultivates his love of aviation. I will make sure to get out there myself someday, if I can put together an excuse for another visit to Paris. That won't be anytime soon, however, as places like Germany and Italy, and maybe Iberia, Switzerland, and Greece, are farther up my priority list than a return visit to France, if I can get myself over to Europe again anytime soon.

My French is getting quite rusty, so the French-only website is quite baffling to me, but the museum does look like a very worthwhile destination with easy transit access, so I'll make sure to head that way at the next opportunity.

Musée de l'Air et de l'Espace (French Air and Space Museum)

Body Image

2009-03-25T22:14:00.002-07:00

For the past few months, I had some thoughts regarding Sarah's body image, especially as her body feminizes.

For a while, I've known of the website below:

DOMAI.com

DOMAI (it's an acronym, the first three letters standing for Dirty Old Man, obviously catering primarily to men) showcases tens of thousands of photos of nude women. Its pages say that while traditional female nudes have been either high art or porn, the website instead strives for something called "simple nude." Most, if not all, of the photos feature the models (all consensual and adult) posing doing something natural. The goal appears to enjoy being natural, and to be proud of one's own body image.

Most photos are available only to paying subscribers, but there are enough free samples to clarify the idea. Visitors do leave comments - and while most indeed are men with naturist experiences of their own, some women also visit and leave comments - regarding their own naturist experiences, looking at nude men, or appreciating the beauty of another female nude body.

While high art nudity gets tiresome, and porn is certainly not my thing, I find the "simple nude" concept very fascinating. While it'll be years, if ever, before I feel comfortable enough to enjoy my body, I could let Sarah do some of this. I've always stated that Sarah's longtime fantasy was to walk around a lovely flower field naked, and in recent months, I've turned Kirsten into a serious amateur photographer, often taking photos of Sarah. These come together - and Kirsten gets to take artistic photos of Sarah in the nude, as her feminization progresses and her confidence grows.

While I already got to play with a bit of this with my Sarah interview in Seoul, I need to develop this, and by extension, Sarah's personality and self-image, further. I'll be doing a double-interview of both Sarah and Kirsten at their Hollywood condo as soon as I am able. I'll take a look at their computer, which will certainly have those nude photos. (I've given up on the Hong Kong interview for Sarah - and will simply share my Hong Kong observations with Sarah.) I'll not only get to bring out Sarah's self-image, but also Kirsten's artistic tastes.

Another thing I like about the site is that women come in all shapes and sizes. While the models are normally in their early 20s, there are some older models too, and body sizes are all over the map. Even the anatomies differ; some have more pronounced labia than others. I remember two models who especially reminded me of Sarah; the first had a crotch that was parted three different ways rather than the expected two (the model might be a pre-op transwoman, and the middle part may as well be a tucked-back penis), and the second had an unusually large clitoris. I need to really get to know Sarah's body - maybe even better than my own.

About a year ago, I decided that Sarah's pre-op body would feature a very large penis, which she calls her "big clit," and has caused tons of grief and body image issues for her over the years, but now is a source of pride as ample source of raw material for the surgery. Now, I need to describe Sarah's post-op anatomy; while she certainly won't have much in the labia department (that usually requires an optional second surgery, which I'll have Sarah skip), I do need to know what her vagina feels like, how her new, smaller clitoris looks, and even how she grooms/shaves her pubic hair. After all, Kirsten is a hardcore carpet muncher, and she needs to come home to Sarah's red-carpet treatment. Kirsten herself will be brought out through the various ways she sets up Sarah's nude photos, from the background to Sarah's props/accessories/partial clothing to Sarah's body pose.

I'll see what I find during the Hollywood interview. (I already look forward to parking my new car next to Kirsten's own - with the vanity plate SAPPHIC.)

HRC's anti-transgender activities

2009-03-24T15:05:00.002-07:00

Just came across this blog post, via a Facebook group:

Transgriot

It details the development of the leading gay rights organization, Human Rights Campaign, and its background and makeup which is overwhelmingly white liberal, corporate, and elitist. It's not just transgenders who have no voice in the HRC organization, but also nonwhites and those who hail from the so-called "flyover country" (never mind that Southern California, one of the so-called "gay meccas," is, in reality, at least as theocratic and backward as most of the flyover country).

No wonder the gay rights movement is incapable of effective advocacy. When the pro-gay arguments are written exclusively in white liberal languages (partly because there are no nonwhites to write them in culturally compelling terms), the nonwhite communities, many of us hailing from the world's most homophobic societies, will gladly vote for homophobic legislations. When transgenders are excluded for political expediency (whatever it means), the gay-only nondiscrimination laws are toothless, protecting only those who "look" straight (whatever that means). And while the flyover country activists have a lot of wisdom to share (much of it due to having to deal with theocrats on a daily basis, and knowing them), that never makes it into the upper ranks of HRC, making HRC's game plan that less effective.

I am of the belief that the key advances in LGBT rights in the US have come about only because the large corporations (of which United Airlines, Sarah's employer, is a good example) have decided that the white, affluent, professional, straight-looking gay men have tons of disposable income, and therefore are customers to be courted. The goal is to make sure that those who don't fit the program (lesbians, transgenders, nonwhites, the not-so-affluent, etc.) can find a better society to work/live in, so that they have more money that can be spent on various products and services, and that these corporations will court the entire LGBT demographic even more. It makes sense for HRC to fight for everyone. But it won't.

In any case, I will not be fighting for LGBT rights unless there is an agenda that benefits all involved, not just the elitists. It will also need to be an underlying message of Sarah's story, as Sarah is a transwoman on a low flight attendant salary, and her wife Kirsten is half-nonwhite.

End of the Experiment

2009-03-07T12:19:00.002-08:00

I decided to shut down my simulated airline business.

I'm looking a lot like United Airlines - too much so for comfort. It's September 2000, and the fuel prices, which had tripled in the past year, are hammering me. I had brought in tons of 747s to expand my international network and add to my profits, but now they will eat up my cash reserves instead. I don't have a strong regional network to make up for it (it simply cannot be done from Seoul, while it's much easier from Beijing, Hong Kong, or Tokyo). The only difference is that I actually treated my employees better, and that I am in no danger of a strike. (In fact, I'll be liquidating my airline while it still has 700 million dollars in value - so that my 20,000 employees will have a generous severance package.) But I will be going out of business in a few more months of game time anyway.

In any case, I had a good chance to look into the industry's mentality, and to understand Sarah's corporate bosses a bit better. Indeed, United did very well when its network was limited to North America, and its costs were well within reason. It's the botching of the international expansion (too aggressive, too careless) that hammered United around 2000. In any case, the more I understand Sarah's employer (which also is the airline I know the best and fly the most), the more realistic Sarah's work environment gets, and that should keep me happy.

Back to NorCal

2009-03-04T21:56:00.003-08:00

I just came back from an overnight trip to Northern California, which was prompted by business and did not involve any research for Sarah at all.

In fact, I stayed as far away from San Francisco and Berkeley as I could - as I think the political correctness of the liberals there is proving to be just as toxic to me as the far-right theocracy of Southern California. My trek started in Monterey, overnighting in Milpitas just north of San Jose and finishing up in Sacramento. One reason for Sacramento was a visit to the air museum at the former McClellan Air Force Base, where I could see two examples of the F-86 Sabre, the very aircraft that Sarah's grandfather flew during the Korean War (and translated into Sarah's own interest in aviation). Didn't really enjoy the visit though, as I was not really in an aviation mood today - certainly not military aviation.

Otherwise, I've been working long hours (getting nothing done, actually) and not getting much of any time off at all. I'm also extremely sick and tired of having to constantly babysit coworkers and "family" members due to their inability to understand basic English. I'm not very happy.

I was actually relieved to spend the past two days driving my new Hyundai, which now bears a vanity plate referring to Kwan Yin, Sarah's (and my) transgender matron saint. It is a great car, and the vanity plate is a very strong counterpoint to all the theocratic negative energy that permeates the California freeways. The only downside, of course, is the car's Bluetooth system, which allows people to call me at the worst possible times, and disturb my peace. A few hours without my babysitting, and everything seems to go haywire.

As for the online airline simulation game, I'm starting to fall apart, due to the game's "open skies" environment where anyone can fly any route, even domestic runs in a foreign country, regardless of nationality (imagine the New York - San Francisco route being dominated by airlines from China). Basically, anyone hailing from a city with lots of demand can grow fast, and drive competitors from nearby cities out of business. Two competitors, one in Hong Kong and the other in Beijing, are doing just that - and I can't keep up from my Seoul hub. And with my time commitments, I may have to call it quits early. I do think I got my objective - learning the aviation economics enough to apply it to Sarah's work environment - accomplished. (And by chance, my mainline fleet is looking a lot like United's - the only difference being the Boeing 767-400, which United doesn't fly, but I will, but whether I'll survive long enough to actually fly the plane is another question altogether.)

I have, however, made some strong statements even in that game, by abruptly pulling out of the Los Angeles market in late 1999, incensed over the extremist antics of the Korean-American community as well as its collaboration with other primitive immigrant communities of SoCal (they alone make up half of Los Angeles already) for the passage of Proposition 22, California's first gay marriage ban. I'm starting to think that as noble as Kwan Yin's determination to save every human first is, I think she can forget about ever reaching nirvana for herself, as long as she continues to try to save the theocratic immigrant communities in Los Angeles, which are absolutely hopeless. Pulling my Kwan Yin-themed airline out of the Los Angeles market was my way of saying that in the game.

Update

2009-02-19T23:08:00.002-08:00

Little progress made with Sarah, unfortunately. However, with my folks moving out soon (and me having a place of my own at last), I should have more writing time.

In the meantime, I've done nicely with the airline simulation, and that keeps me happy. The game is currently in early 1998, which means my airline is almost 5 years old. I now have 112 airplanes in service, including many larger, long-range models; instead of leasing my fleet, I am buying at least some of my planes, so that I can lease them out to other airlines for more income and/or use them as collateral for loans for more planes. My reputation is extremely good, thanks to my continual replacement of older planes, and more importantly, my generous treatment of my employees, who now number over 13,000. (This is sure to bring a smile to Sarah.) I now fly over 2,000 flights a week, carrying almost a quarter million passengers and serving every continent except Antarctica. The game still has seven years left, however, during which anything can happen; stronger competitors based in Hong Kong and Beijing (much stronger markets than my Seoul hub) may yet drive me out of business, so I better be careful.

I have a much better understanding of the airline industry, and that's priceless. I do hope that whatever I learn out of this simulation ends up improving the realism of Sarah's work environment at United. Until then, I'll blanket as much of the world as possible, with the mercy of Kwan Yin, using my simulated airline.

End of an Era

2009-02-06T23:18:00.003-08:00

I've had Sarah indulge in a love of aviation and other male-oriented activities. One of them was flying an airplane using her personal computer; I've described Sarah as a fan of the Microsoft Flight Simulator series.

Looks like Sarah will need to find some other way to fly. Microsoft has laid off the entire Flight Simulator team.

BBC

Flight Simulator was Microsoft's longest running title, and one of the few Microsoft products that people actually loved to buy. I myself logged some hours on the program, and learned quite a bit about what pilots go through.

But Microsoft, as of late, has been making very questionable decisions, trading long-term goodwill for a short-term profit boost; that strategy is now backfiring, as Microsoft's "monopoly" product lines, such as Windows and Office, don't look like monopolies anymore, and people actually have choices. I'm now far happier using Mac OS (which costs less) and OpenOffice (which is free), both of which are superior to their Microsoft counterparts. I think shutting down Flight Simulator and other game products may save Microsoft a bit of money right away, but will taint its reputation further down the road.

(Of course, trading long-term goodwill for short-term profits is a plague that's infected many other once-great American corporations, including Sarah's employer, United Airlines.)

Flight Simulator also appears to be one of those "monopoly" products that are no longer monopoly. A number of other flight simulators for the home computer have come out over the years, and all failed - except for one, X-Plane from Laminar Research. X-Plane is so realistic that it can be used as an engineering tool to design a real airplane, and/or a training tool for a pilot to get some of those FAA-approved flight hours. It's too serious/realistic to be a game, but can be had for as little as $40 - and unlike Microsoft Flight Simulator, it can run on Mac and Linux too. I'm currently evaluating a trial version right now, and so far I'm very impressed. (I also now have one less reason to run Windows.)

Microsoft's short-sighted decision may actually turn out to be good for both Sarah and me, after all.

Game Update

2009-01-29T22:01:00.002-08:00

Here's a bit of an update on that airline management simulation I'm participating against 350 competitors...

I've played it for almost ten days now in real time. The game time (25 real time minutes per game day) runs from June 1992 to June 2005, and right now it's December 1994. My airline, Mercy Airlines, was a relative latecomer, being founded in May 1993, but between my good decisions and some luck, Mercy is doing extremely well.

I had entered 1994 with 9 mostly junk planes, but now I have a nice fleet of 30 mostly new planes, with another 12 or so on order; newer planes cost less to run, so I'm saving a bundle. My tactic of filling in my competitors' gaps paid off very well, and I have monopolies on many routes, enhancing my profits. With the profits I now have, I am able to buy more new and nearly-new planes to expand my empire farther; now, Mercy planes go as far as Orlando, over 7,000 miles away from my Seoul Incheon hub.

And most importantly, Sarah will love the fact that I am paying my staff very well. The HR department listens to the unions, automatically overhires staff by 6%, and gives them frequent pay raises. And the good thing is that due to my good management and luck, I can actually afford this. My staff is running at 100% morale and 103% efficiency; combined with my newer planes, this gives Mercy a better public image and allows me to charge higher fares than badly run competitors.

I'm even fortunate in that I was invited to join an airline alliance - the best one, in fact. In this game, alliances boost my passenger volume by 5% or so, while costing me 0.8% of my ticket revenues. My alliance has many well-funded, friendly large members, and it works well as a team to dominate various routes and drive out competing alliances. Having the support of a good alliance is boosting Mercy even more.

I'm glad that I've been getting a good look at this simplified version of the airline economics. I now see what makes a great airline great - and what makes many airlines, including formerly great ones, falter under cut-rate leadership. Sarah's airline, United, certainly falls into the latter category, as it once was an innovator but now is so battered that it hasn't bought a new plane in years. Sure, as long as Sarah puts on a good face, United will continue to fly, but there is only a limit as to how long Sarah can tolerate worsening working conditions and cut-rate management.

I'll continue to observe the industry in the game, as I continue into the game and grow Mercy even more. (Currently, I am ordering two Boeing 767s every month - which will allow me to start really flying those high-profit routes to Europe, Australia, and the Americas, but there is a 2 1/2-year wait for delivery.) And hopefully with a better understanding of the airline economics, I can give Sarah, and her stint at United, a more realistic flavor.

Unfortunately, the game is so addictive that I am running out of time to write! I still need to work on my dinner interviews with Sarah and Kirsten, one in Hong Kong and one in Los Angeles...

A look into the psychology of Sarah's industry

2009-01-22T19:13:00.003-08:00

Somehow, I recently came across a new online Web-based multiplayer game, in which I get to start and run an airline for a number of years, and see how well I do against the competition (or whether I even survive at all).

Airwaysim.com

I signed up, if only to get to know the workings of the airline industry better, and get a better feel for the economic environment that keeps Sarah employed. I need to ensure that my flight attendants (and many other employees, both visible and invisible) are ample in number and well-paid, so that they can do the best they can. I also need to make sure that I get good (read: newer and efficient) airplanes and keep them flying as much as possible. I need to pamper my customers so that the customers will continue to fly my planes and give me income.

With this enhanced understanding of the industry, I can get a more critical look at what made Sarah's employer, United Airlines, rise to prominence in the 20th century, and get clobbered with financial difficulties in more recent years. I make sure to remember United's mistakes and not repeat them in my own game. In the game world, I can only fly passengers, but passenger demand stays healthy and fuel prices stay reasonable, so it all comes down to my own management style.

The game has other limitations, including the ability to have only one hub. It needs to be a large city/airport (lots of demand) but not too large (too much competition); my airline is based at Seoul Incheon, where I have only one badly run competitor and I also have access to many short and lucrative Chinese and Japanese routes. I'm still only 4 months of game time (one day in game time is 25 minutes of real life) into my airline, so my network isn't all that extensive (my longest run only goes to Manila), and my emphasis now is having a reputation and a network that give me solid income. Then I can worry about flying 777s across the oceans. Too many long-hauls (read: high-maintenance jumbo jets) early on, without stable income from regional routes, can kill me very early; even the venerable Pan Am died that way.

Of course, I am keeping the spirit of my (and Sarah's) transgender matron saint in the game. My username is Gwaneum, the Korean pronunciation of Kwan Yin, and my airline is named Mercy Airlines. Looking forward to having Mercy aircraft blanket the world with the spirit of Kwan Yin.

On the road again

2009-01-03T01:04:00.002-08:00

Gwaneum One and I are doing fine - I am logging on from Las Vegas, after a great Christmas in San Francisco. Although the crummy parking structure at Imperial Palace, and the moronic Chrysler drivers, caused me to back into a trash bin (and give Gwaneum One a few rear bumper scratches), I am still quite glad to be driving around in something more conscionable than a BMW.

In order to come to Vegas, however, I ended up buying an airline carry-on size suitcase first, as my existing Travelpro one has been falling apart (so much so, that it hasn't been on an airplane in years). I went to a local Costco to pick up a store brand (Kirkland) example. As I waited in line, a lady in navy blue started remarking about it - how great the Kirkland is (she has one herself), how bad the Travelpros have become, etc. She had to drift off to talk about shifts to Seoul and Shanghai on her cell phone - then I spotted a "crew" badge under her coat. As it turned out, she was a United flight attendant - Sarah's coworker!

I thanked her for the luggage tips, and while I did not mention Sarah, I did mention that I am now a Premier. She was very happy to hear about it - and gave me a hi-five. And I was also glad that this flight attendant was putting a good face for her employer - something that will benefit Sarah as well. I know I can't maintain a good face on behalf of anybody - which is precisely why I am not working as a flight attendant (or any other customer service position). A smile and a frown may be all the difference there may be between me taking United for my next air trip, and taking a competitor. And I surely want to fly United next time - if only to claim my 25% Premier mileage bonus!

And just before we went our separate ways, we briefly talked about Seoul's Incheon Airport as well. I mentioned that flying into and out of Incheon is what brought me to Premier, and she said she loved Incheon. Glad to be able to think about, and discuss, my favorite airport and my favorite airline. I'll make sure to have Sarah put some more time in on that route too!

Returning to Sarah's home turf

2008-12-22T20:57:00.003-08:00

I'm heading up to San Fran in about 12 hours.

I've been back in the US for just over a week, but jet lag has really slowed me down. But I'm doing everything to ensure that my three months' worth of experiences in Asia will continue to influence me for a long time.

Given that the Pope is joining the Moonies and the Republican Party (both the main US party and the puppet branch party in South Korea) in calling for extermination of all LGBTs worldwide, I had to make sure to cut all my ties to the Pope's biggest corporate sponsor, BMW, in a timely manner. As BMW had also supported Bill O'Reilly and his calls to destroy San Francisco, I had to get a more conscionable car in order to be able to make the drive tomorrow. My 3-series was sold at a pittance, primarily due to the tanking economy caused by policies and politicians supported by BMW worldwide.

As previously indicated here and at my main blog, the replacement vehicle is a Hyundai Genesis, which reflects the cooler heads prevailing among the everyday South Koreans, as well as the spirit of Kwan Yin that I had soaked up during my Asian sojourn. I even named the car Gwaneum One (Gwaneum being the Korean pronunciation of Kwan Yin), and ordered a vanity plate to that effect. Its luxury amenities are outstanding. I got to use Gwaneum One's car phone for the first time, when my BMW dealership called my cell phone for a service reminder, and the call was routed via Bluetooth to the car; I was very happy to ask to be taken off their phone list due to the sale of my old car.

This trip will primarily be a photo op for my new car, but will also lead me to Sarah and Kirsten's church in Berkeley. I'll also get some inspirations from other places, just like Seoul and Hong Kong provided me with many unexpected inspirations.

Looking forward to the end of the year

2008-12-10T00:29:00.002-08:00

My lengthy Asian sojourn is nearing its end. Before I know it, I'll be back in California, where some ass-kicking will have to take place, starting with the retirement of my BMW.

When I get the Hyundai Genesis as the replacement car, I'll need to spend some time to break it in. My original plan was an overnight trip to Las Vegas. However, after doing my fair share of gambling here in South Korea (and doing pretty poorly while at it), I decided to scratch that. Most likely, I'll try to go to San Francisco right after Christmas.

This should give me an excuse to write out a new interview, replacing my initial plans for visiting Kirsten in Hollywood. I'll probably change the date slightly to Christmas Eve or something, and drive to Sarah's parents' place. There, I'll find Kirsten's new red Audi A4, with some lesbian pride bumper stickers and the vanity plate reading "SAPPHIC" - I'll immediately know that it's hers. I'll find out that the car is only a month old, but the plate is already on it, having been transferred from Kirsten's own retired BMW. Initially, it'll be just Kirsten and me - but Sarah will arrive a bit later, returning from another flight assignment. I haven't figured out if I want to have Sarah's parents join us, however. I might have an interesting talk with Sarah's mother, as she shares her memories of raising Sarah, as well as some trivia about Grandpa Warren.

This should be an interesting scene, and a way for me to get to know all my key characters. But I must finish my Sarah interview from Hong Kong first.

Update from Seoul

2008-12-08T18:20:00.003-08:00

Although I'm back in South Korea in relative peace, I am not feeling good.

The treasonous Republican colonial government and/or its supporters (either within South Korea or in the Korean-American community) appear to have placed a virus in my laptop, and it's severely hampering my ability to go online and access certain types of content. They are chickens, so they won't just put up a firewall along the lines of those in China and Muslim nations just yet. (South Korea does operate a firewall, but they are, officially, only for North Korean websites.) Of course, if I were a South Korean, or a long-term foreigner with South Korean alien registration, it could be worse, as the authorities would have my current address at all times, and could arrest me at will.

My time management is falling apart as a result. A short blog post with a few photos could easily take two hours to complete and post, due to the timeouts and delays. I canceled all plans for today, including my meditation commute, since late-night blogging tends to really cut my sleeping time.

I guess I could spend part of today doing some Sarah-related writing, namely work on the Hong Kong dinner scene, if I am not too PO'd. But other things I want to post here, including tons of Kwan Yin photos from Hong Kong, will not work out until I am back stateside. Fortunately, that is not too far away. Sure, back in California, I must continue to live with the consequences of the devastating actions of South Korea's government and the Korean-Americans - including Proposition 8 - but I do look forward to getting rid of my BMW.

At that point, I will also do a lunch interview, right in Hollywood, with a pregnant Kirsten at her place, with our BMW retirements (and new replacement cars) as initial conversation pieces. Kirsten's car will have a vanity plate reading "SAPPHIC" - it could only be hers. I'll probably have Sarah, returning from another flight assignment, join us toward the end. And at least one among the three of us will make a religious analogy to me and Kirsten; Kirsten will be compared to Virgin Mary for her ability to bear a child without a man's help, while I'll certainly be compared to Kwan Yin, for my similarities to Kirsten (paralleling Kwan Yin's own similarities to Virgin Mary) while being transgender.

Leaving Hong Kong

2008-12-02T19:43:00.003-08:00

I'm logging on from Hong Kong's airport departure area, having checked in and cleared immigration. I'm at the gate, which has yet to see my Seoul-bound Asiana flight come in.

Some photos as I made my way (reminders of Sarah, of course):

I'm awaiting the Airport Express at Kowloon Station. This sign shows that these airlines have check-in counters that are nearer to the front of the train. Interesting Chinese names for various airlines, most of which, despite being proper names, are translated into Chinese equivalents.

Yes, Sarah's airline is listed here. United's Chinese name here translates into "Union Airline Company." The "American" label is often added to the front, in following with Chinese-style airline conventions, and to differentiate United from a similarly-named domestic airline in China.

I'm in the departure area. Mostly the traffic here is Cathay Pacific, which calls Hong Kong home. A good number of Dragonair flights are also around; Dragonair is Cathay's subsidiary in charge of Cathay's flights into mainland China. However, in this photo, I am seeing two EVA Air widebodies, operated by Taiwan's Evergreen Group; Taiwanese airlines operate lots of flights to Hong Kong, and Taipei is only just over an hour away. While EVA Air couldn't name itself Evergreen Airlines due to a US-based cargo airline of the same name already in existence, its Chinese name is indeed Evergreen.

And of course, in the far distance, I can see Sarah's airline. That 747 in the older paint scheme will operate as United 862 to San Francisco later today. And according to my dinner scene here in Hong Kong, Sarah should be working that flight today. Glad to feel her presence right here, though in reality, I never saw a single redhead around in Hong Kong. Granted, there are lots of Westerners in Hong Kong, far more than in Seoul, and they come in lots of different hair colors. But nevertheless, I never saw a single redhead. Sarah will surely stand out here due to her height and her hair color, even though mainland Chinese women, particularly those from the north, are also known to occasionally get even taller than Sarah.

Interestingly, here in Hong Kong, United shares check-in counters with Korean Air, the one airline that I'll never fly on. And there is a Korean Air 747 right next to my gate. (And my Asiana plane, also a 747, is coming in right now.)

Once I return to Seoul, I won't be doing much until I return to the US, as I am utterly fed up with the government there. At least I'll have plenty of time to do some writing - including finishing up the dinner scene.

Inspirations

2008-11-30T04:48:00.003-08:00

I'm done with my first Hong Kong sightseeing day. But I think I already have enough to go ahead and start my Sarah interview here in Hong Kong.

I'll start by having Sarah come to my hotel in Kowloon, discussing a number of things and looking at my computer (complete with a wallpaper of Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal). We'll then explore Kowloon, first going to the nearby Tin Hau Temple to pay respects to Kwan Yin. We'll head to Tsim Sha Tsui for a dinner at a Szechuan or a Cantonese restaurant, overlooking the harbor; Sarah will probably give me a few tips on how to better enjoy Hong Kong. Afterwards, we'll explore the Avenue of the Stars, where we'll stop by Michelle Yeoh's handprints, and Sarah will nag me about my hopeless lesbianism one more time (as I've been known to discuss Michelle Yeoh's onetime appearance on the cover of a US lesbian magazine).

We'll retire to Sarah's room at a nearby luxury hotel, but not before seeing a few chess sets at a nearby souvenir shop, and wandering if there will ever be a set with Kwan Yin as the queen, as both are transwomen. Once in Sarah's room, I'll explore Sarah's computer for her writings as well as some photos, consisting of both Sarah's travel photos and Kirsten's artistic nude shots of Sarah. While Sarah will not showcase her body to me this time, I'll have her challenge me for even more board games. After three varieties of chess (Western, Chinese, Korean) and Go, Sarah will win all four - for a cumulative record of 8 for 8 against me. She'll surely feel very lucky; I'll then challenge her to a new game, Five-in-a-Row (gomoku in Japanese), which she'll win too, making it 9 for 9 - very divine.

Looking forward to writing this scene after my early sleep. While at it, I'll start planning my rendezvous with somewhat pregnant Kirsten, which will take back in Los Angeles after I return home and sell my BMW. It'll be a meeting of long-lost twin sisters, in character. Sarah may or may not be with us at that point.

Hong Kong

2008-11-29T10:18:00.003-08:00

I've arrived in Kowloon.

I'll spend the next few days exploring the basics of Hong Kong - a one-of-a-kind city, and a major destination for Sarah's airline. In fact, I am certainly having another meeting with Sarah, right here in Hong Kong. In this "east meets west" city, Sarah will certainly blend in very well, even though she doesn't even speak Cantonese. (I don't either, but English is widely spoken, a relic of the British colonial era.)

I've found the last few days in South Korea to be extremely stressful, as I continue to find out about the treasonous, undemocratic activities of the new conservative government. It is a big concern, as it funds the Moonies in order to "pay respects" to a benevolent foreign force - the US Republican neocons - destroying American democracy in the process. South Korea is NOT a sovereign republic, but rather, a colony of a failed ideology and a discredited US political party. If South Korea were an actual colony of the entire US, and helping American democratic ideals as opposed to destroying them, I'd be much happier. In any case, I am glad to leave it behind for a few days and hang out in Hong Kong, which doesn't quite try to mess up US democracy yet (though mainland China might).

When I meet with Sarah here, she'll ask me about my South Korean road trip, which I had mentioned at our Seoul meeting. I will certainly spill the beans - but will fume about what I've seen in the past few days, and lament about the fact that I'll have to return to Seoul for ten more days after Hong Kong. I will, however, make clear that I continue to love the ordinary South Koreans more than ever, and take inspirations from them, despite their inability to pick a good government.

I am already thinking of a few possible venues for the meeting. We could meet at the Star Ferry dock, near the handprints of Hong Kong's famous movie stars, and take the ferry together to Hong Kong Island to climb Victoria Peak. We could return to Kowloon in the evening for a weird dinner, a stroll of the Ladies Market, and more, before retiring to Sarah's room for a few rounds of board games and a look at her laptop.

Hong Kong is warm and humid - but not too bad. It certainly beats freezing my behind off in Seoul. I'll reflect this in our wardrobe choices, though Sarah will probably dress in ways that Kirsten and I normally do (floral dress) while I'll probably take Sarah's style (tunic shirt with tights).

Looking forward to some great inspirations.

One more thing - the flight on Asiana went well. Boarding and disembarkation music were Christmas carols. I was recognized with my new United Premier status - Star Silver - entitling me to priority baggage handling. And as my flight did its takeoff roll at Seoul Incheon, I was able to spot a United 777 that had just arrived from San Francisco - always a welcome sight for me. In fact, I whispered "Hi Sarah!" at the 777, even though I knew that Sarah would be here in Hong Kong instead!

Photo essay coming up

2008-11-26T07:45:00.002-08:00

I am about to prepare a photo essay and upload it to Facebook, when I get time.

It will consist of transgender-related stuff that I've come across in my past two months in South Korea. While transgender culture in South Korea is normally reduced to a few modern-day popular entertainers, there is a lot more to it - notably the worship of Kwan Yin and the prominence of shamanism.

The Kwan Yin-related stuff is already posted over at Christy's Art Blog. I already refer to Kwan Yin as the blog's "beloved transgender matron saint," and that's how I feel about her myself.

I hope some of the inspirations that I've taken over the recent months will make their way into my novel and into Sarah, as she continues to serve United Airlines' vast Asian network. And for that matter, I need to take those same inspirations into my own life.

More Travel Update

2008-11-23T03:39:00.002-08:00

I've returned to Seoul, though I've been forced to relocate to the posh suburb of Seongnam, the birthplace of Harisu, South Korea's most famous transgender woman.

I've spent several more days on the road, and I am very pleased, as I've been able to pay pilgrimages to lots of Kwan Yin-related sites throughout the nation. Also, I managed to take my rental car into the parking garage of Lotte World in Jamsil, like I was supposed to do during my dinner scene with Sarah; it felt quite special, despite the pricey parking rates.

I must return my car tomorrow. I already extended my rental by a day, and I can continue to do so with advance notice, but it'll cost me dearly. Besides, as I keep driving, the Seoul road rage will eventually get to me, so I might as well give up my wheel while I am still loving the experience.

I'm looking forward to the next phases of my life. By the end of this week, I'll find myself in Hong Kong, finding new favorite hangouts for Sarah and making more Kwan Yin pilgrimages (one of them should take me to faraway Lantau Island, where the airport is). And before I know it, I'll be back in Los Angeles, replacing my Nazimobile with a Hyundai Genesis (and naming it after Kwan Yin). I expect to continue returning to Seoul for a while afterwards. Looking forward to all sorts of new, great inspirations for myself and for Sarah.

Travel Update

2008-11-18T07:34:00.002-08:00

I'm in the midst of my road trip through South Korea, currently logging on from the historic capital of Gyeongju, a four-hour drive from Seoul.

When I had written my dinner scene with Sarah back in Seoul, I had picked a silver Hyundai Sonata as my rental car. Sure enough, that's what I ended up getting! I did drive the Olympic Expressway in southern Seoul, passing by Lotte World - the place where Sarah and I supposedly had dinner and did shopping - on my way out of the city.

Gyeongju is full of Buddhist relics, as it was the capital of the Silla kingdom, which had Buddhism as its state religion. I've come across more Kwan Yins than I can keep track of. I've surely seen a few very odd ones - including a topless Kwan Yin with a female hourglass figure but male breasts. And in all cases, the English caption boards continue to refer to Kwan Yin by her Sanskrit male name, Avalokitesvara.

If anyone ever did a portrait of Sarah, dressed in something feminine but topless and sporting male breasts, and captioned the portrait as Sanford, I think Sarah would really be offended.

I loved Gyeongju. I hate to leave the city and go back to Seoul, but I must in a few hours. At least I'll be able to come across a few more Kwan Yins, as I stop at three different Buddhist temples on my way back to Seoul. And once this whole deal is over and my car is returned, I'll look forward to doing even more Kwan Yin pilgrimages in Hong Kong. I am not sure if I'll ever send Sarah this way, however, as Gyeongju does not have its own airport, much less an international airport.

More interviews coming up

2008-11-14T01:25:00.002-08:00

I really loved writing my dinner interview with Sarah, taking place in Seoul. And I am already thinking of what to include in the Hong Kong interview.

I need to keep this going, if only to get to know my characters better, and end up with an even better novel in the end. To that end, I will continue to write interviews with Sarah, in other places around the world. As I continue traveling to other Asian venues, including Tokyo, Taipei, and Bangkok, I will make sure to write a new interview with Sarah. Even Jeju Island, which I intend to visit in the future and which is certainly NOT on the United Airlines route map, may be fair game.

I will also interview Kirsten in Hollywood, as I need to get to know her a bit better too. Even if this means I have to meet a pregnant Kirsten in a maternity tunic sweatshirt, and even if it means I have to visit her while Sarah is on another foreign assignment, I will do it. I want this to pan out in the form of a sisterly meeting, as if we are twins separated at birth and meeting together for the first time. (In a way, we are!)

Looking forward to many inspirations ahead!

Pregnant Man is expecting again

2008-11-13T14:55:00.002-08:00

Thomas Beatie, the transman who made headlines by giving birth to a daughter this past summer, is expecting again.

BBC

While I have zero plans to ever have a child or my own (or even adopt), this news makes Sarah's own reproductive plans all that more important. She and Kirsten will certainly cherish having their own child - completely their own.

A Facebook note

2008-11-12T04:53:00.003-08:00

I posted my first-ever Facebook note, as follows. This was inspired by a very homophobic protest banner that I saw today, in front of South Korea's Human Rights Commission building. The commission has been very supportive of LGBTs and other disadvantaged groups, though its decisions are nonbinding; apparently, some people are VERY offended by the commission's continued support of LGBT rights. I have a post about it (with the offending banner, which is the second photo) over on my main blog.

I've seen the face of severe homophobia in South Korea. It hurts American LGBTs too, and proves that homophobia is far from a whites-only thing. But fortunately, the average South Koreans are as opposed to homophobia as I am.

In South Korea, there is a governmental body named the Human Rights Commission, which is completely nonpartisan and independent, and makes nonbinding recommendations regarding human rights laws in South Korea. It has generally been very supportive of many traditionally marginalized groups, including women, organized labor, foreigners, the young, and LGBTs.

The photo was taken in front of the Human Rights Commission's headquarters in downtown Seoul. Apparently, it recently made some rulings in favor of the nation's LGBT community. And as the left banner makes it clear, some people are clearly VERY offended. The banner, from an association of North Korean defectors, demands the resignation of the entire commission, for coddling and defending the destructive homosexual lifestyle while ignoring the real human rights problems over in North Korea. (Sorry, the commission doesn't have jurisdiction over North Korea just yet.)

Not pictured, there are two additional extremely homophobic banners hanging behind me, hung by other right-wing groups in solidarity.

It is very sad to know that the North Koreans, who claim to have defected to South Korea in search of freedom for themselves, are at the forefront of destroying other people's freedoms and their right to a pursuit of happiness. While "the right to a pursuit of happiness" is a fairly new concept in the Confucian, communal South Korean society, it is nevertheless firmly entrenched now and forms the basis of many new legal changes, including scrapping the old Confucian family registry system which denied many rights to anyone other than married men.

The North Koreans, due to their intense hatred of their home regime and its Communist orthodoxy, are prime and willing recruiting targets of South Korea's right-wing extremist groups, the neocons and the Republicans in the US, and the Christian extremists of both nations. While I previously held sympathy for their plight, I no longer do so, given this banner and the North Koreans' blatant support and praise of George W. Bush.

The homophobes have the upper hand, for now. Again, the Human Rights Commission's decisions are nonbinding, and certainly the homophobic Lee Myung-bak government will reject them. President Lee has been quoted as saying that homosexuality is an unnatural perversion to be discouraged at any cost, especially among the nation's youth. Lee is able to influence US politics by funding his US front, the Unification Church of Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who has vowed to exterminate all homosexuals in South Korea, the US, and worldwide. I am very well convinced that all the homophobic legislations passed in the US this month, including Proposition 8 in Korean-American-rich California, benefited handsomely from illegal South Korean governmental influence. But seriously, Lee has more pressing issues that he must pay attention to first, including reviving the South Korean economy and ensuring peace on the Korean peninsula; with North Korea sealing the inter-Korean border as of next month, Lee is failing on the latter as well.

But he'd rather win religious extremist support by pushing homophobia, both within South Korea and over in the US. For that reason, he must be condemned, and the LGBT community in the US must wake up from its politically correct white liberal trance, and denounce South Korea and other foreign nonwhite homophobes in the strongest terms possible.

Fortunately, the people of South Korea are fed up. They are fed up with Lee, saying that the only reason they had voted for him was due to the lackluster candidates of the opposition, and even then they regret it now. And they are certainly fed up with homophobia. While it is very well accepted that religious and moral objections can be raised to homosexuality (after all, Confucians and Christians have tons of influence), it is also well accepted that such personal objections cannot ever justify systematic, legal oppression of LGBTs. The South Korean people love their economic accomplishments, love their budding democratic institutions, and love their freedom and equality; they certainly do not believe in taking any of this away from anyone, LGBTs included.

And unlike in the severely homophobic Korean-American community controlled by extremist megachurches, here in South Korea, just like in the mainstream US, the younger generation (people generally 40 and younger, and even well-educated ones a bit older) are strongly in favor of gay rights. They hate the Confucian orthodoxy, which hurts LGBTs disproportionately, as much as anyone else, and they are fed up with their society which still considers age, sex, and marital status as one's most important job qualifications. As this new generation rises through the ranks and becomes the establishment of tomorrow, South Korea will become a more equitable, more developed society. Expect gay marriage to be legal in Seoul in about 30 years, maybe much less. After all, the past several years have seen South Korea's transgender population gain legal recognition and many specific rights, and nobody ever saw that coming a decade ago.

I am more reminded than ever that I must fight homophobes throughout the world, regardless of their nationality or background. This includes Germany's BMW as well as various Religious Right groups in the US. I will certainly retire my once-beloved BMW 3-series as soon as I return to Los Angeles next month. However, we also must cultivate alliances with the fair-minded people of the world, regardless of nationality, religion, or any other characteristic, as well. The average people of South Korea are not outspoken advocates of the LGBT movement, but they nevertheless are important allies, and they will be the ones stopping the governmental and Moonie menace in the US. To that end, my BMW will be replaced with a Hyundai Genesis, a far superior vehicle anyway. It's also a reminder that South Korea managed to progress from crappy econoboxes to BMW-killers in just a generation, and that its people will make similar progresses on many other fronts - including LGBT rights - before we know it.

Looking forward to showing up at various California LGBT venues in my brand-spanking-new Hyundai Genesis! I will certainly share more stories of my South Korean sojourn, including the significance of Gwaneum (Kwan Yin in Chinese), the transgender Goddess of Mercy in Buddhism, when I show up.

I made sure to send a message to many of my Facebook friends announcing this note. Sure enough, I already got a feedback from Los Angeles - even though it's early morning there! I am hoping to spark something out of this. Who knows, Harisu may visit Deep Stealth Productions on her next visit to the US!

I certainly want Sarah to make similar observations as she travels around the world. To be honest, this very note may somehow become Sarah's own, as I write the novel.

Some afterthoughts

2008-11-12T03:10:00.003-08:00

Yes, I had a great dinner with Sarah, right here in Seoul.

I did overlook a few things, which will have to be addressed in Hong Kong. I completely forgot about Sarah's personal laptop, which will probably be an Apple MacBook, with the capability to start up in Microsoft Windows as required.

I expect to have a peek into Sarah's own writings, including the Seoul travelogue that she is working on for the United Airlines inflight magazine. I want her to deal with shamanism, Kwan Yin, and other topics that are dear to her. She may even do this as an openly transgender employee of United.

I will also look at the programs that are installed in Sarah's computer. The Windows portion will probably run Microsoft Flight Simulator, which speaks to Sarah's love of aviation. I'll fire it up and expect to find the entire United Airlines fleet, as well as some preconfigured flight plans to her favorite destinations worldwide. When she doesn't work on the computer, I may find a screen saver as well, probably an official United Airlines screensaver of some sort.

Sarah may even show me the contents of her photo directory, which will have a number of her travel photos from around the world. She will also show me an online photo depository where she uploads the photos for public view. I also expect to find photos of Sarah herself, including the progressive nude photos taken by Kirsten. However, those will only reside inside Sarah's hard drive, as an upload could go public - even by mistake - and that will certainly put her career in jeopardy.

Finally, there will be even more tools of the trade that she could show me. Using Sarah's laptop, I'll be able to connect to an employees-only United Airlines server, where there will be lots of juicy information available. Sarah will connect to it primarily to bid for her favorite flights to work on, and to swap shifts with a coworker.

There is one thing that I considered, but scrapped. I briefly thought about having Kirsten come to Hong Kong to join us. However, I'll rule it out, due to her pregnancy, which takes a toll on her endurance as she travels. Besides, I don't want to meet her when she's dressed in a shapeless maternity tunic; I'd rather have her wear her trademark Ally McBeal miniskirt suits, tightly fitted. I may simply decide to wait until the childbirth, then visit Kirsten right at home in Hollywood.

Looking forward to getting to Hong Kong and writing the scene! Until then, I will enjoy my South Korean road trip.

Pleasant Surprise

2008-11-11T02:34:00.004-08:00

Danish Girl is the story of a married artist couple in the early 20th Century Denmark, where the wife often painted pictures of women, using her crossdressed husband as her model. The husband turned out to be transgender, became the first post-op transwoman in modern history, and the two went on to live as lesbians, though the rise of the Nazis meant they had to flee their home. I've had a copy of this book, but didn't get around to reading it yet.

Now, I'm being told that there will be an independent movie based on the movie, starring Nicole Kidman as the husband and Charlize Theron as the wife. This is WAY too good to be true - but it is!

AfterEllen.com

I want to thank Lisa O'Connor, one of my Facebook friends, for posting this to her Facebook profile as a link. In the wake of even more gay marriage bans throughout the US, this is a very good news.

I'll certainly be waiting in line to see this movie. This one also has some parallels to my own novel plotline; Kirsten also works in the arts, she also happens to be an avid amateur photographer, and her favorite subject is Sarah in the nude in a flower field, at various stages of her gender transition.

And while at it, watching a Charlize Theron movie in this capacity will still allow me to show appreciation to South Africa and its long fight for justice and equality, even as I get rid of my South African-built BMW over BMW's inability to repent over its Nazi-era sins. Theron has also gone on record as saying that she will not get married, until gays can legally get married alongside her.

Dinner with Sarah - complete!

2008-11-10T05:26:00.002-08:00

Between the plunging temperatures, the high humidity, and the tendency of full-blast heating in South Korea, I haven't been good at keeping my body at a comfortable temperature, and have succumbed to a cold.

As a result, I couldn't leave my apartment today. However, I took a lot of sleep and rest - and certainly used the time productively in completing my first dinner scene with Sarah, which takes place here in Seoul.

I took some fictional liberties; my original US election projections - a bare Obama win, and convincing passage of California's Prop 8 - were kept intact, for a slightly more pessimistic take on the actual results. I also fudged with the details of my car rental, as well as a few details within Seoul. But I am happy with what I ended up with. I ended up including a cell phone call from Kirsten during the scene - and that allowed me to speak to my alter ego for the first time! Of course, my new vow to get rid of my BMW as soon as I return to Los Angeles, as well as my upcoming trip to Hong Kong, also feature in the scene.

And speaking of Hong Kong, I am all set to go now. I simply need to stop by at an Asiana ticket counter tomorrow to pay for the ticket. Looking forward to enjoying Hong Kong - and to another wonderful evening with Sarah.

Transgender mayor

2008-11-08T16:55:00.002-08:00

From Salon.com. Thanks to my mentor Gayle Brandeis for forwarding this to me.

Salon

This small-city Oregon mayor is a known quantity in local politics. He is a heterosexual man who loves to crossdress, and has now taken his crossdressing to the public. The residents of Silverton decided that he was competent enough to keep around no matter what. California needs to take a cue from these Oregonians.

I thanked her for the article, and informed her of my intentions to replace my BMW; as a Jew, she will be very glad to hear of my decision and the reasons. As I am planning to return home in mid-December, and won't be returning to Seoul until at least early January (if at all), I'll have ample time to look for a decent deal.

A few extra thoughts

2008-11-07T03:50:00.003-08:00

I am too exhausted and mad to write the actual novel at this time. Even the dinner scene here in Seoul is a bit too much for me, for today.

But I continue to gather inspirations. The dinner scene consists of me and Sarah, in my rental car, driving over to Jamsil for a dinner and some shopping. Today, I spent time ice skating at Jamsil's Lotte World, the very place Sarah and I are going to in the scene. We may skate, even though Sarah is in a tunic shirt and I am in a mini; a number of mini-clad women do skate there. I also managed to see a few Western women around, a very tall middle-aged brunette and a young blonde, and both reminded me of Sarah to some degree. (And based on the sweatshirt, the blonde certainly seemed to be American.)

For the shopping portion, we were supposed to stock up on high-quality Korean hosiery, but I will go beyond that. We'll duck into a puzzle store to pick up magnetic game sets; while Sarah already has a magnetic travel set for chess, I will also give her another travel set, for Go and Korean chess, as she'll certainly want to try those games out. (In fact, I will even have Sarah tell me that she's been studying Go online for a year. However, Korean chess will be completely new to her, though she may have played the similar Chinese chess before.) Sarah is a natural at board games, and when we return to Sarah's hotel room to play the games, she'll beat me in all three games. We'll even attempt to play Chinese chess with the Korean set (which is definitely doable), and Sarah will give me a swift checkmate in that game too.

We will also shop at MAC Cosmetics counter at the department store, primarily because I need to replace my worn-out foundation case.

It'll be fun eating, shopping, and playing together. And in the privacy of the hotel room, Sarah will get to nag me quite a bit about spilling everything about her body in this blog. We will also look at Sarah's tools of the trade, as well as a Seoul travel article she's writing for United Airlines' inflight magazine.

Looking forward to resuming my writing once I am in a better mental state, and looking forward to collecting more inspirations.

Location/Time Zone Change

2008-11-06T03:51:00.003-08:00

Given that I won't be going home until January at least (most likely after Obama takes office), and given that I am extremely fed up with California's tradition of reactionary politics, both from the white natives and from the Third World immigrants, I will no longer list my location as California.

I've been in Seoul for the vast majority of my past two months. Seoul is now my second home, and will remain so for a long while, as I continue to return here frequently over the next few years. There are lots of things for me to do here, from meditating to gathering inspirations to kicking some asses of the South Korean right-wing extremists who are glad to fund California's destructive tendencies.

To that end, I will list my location as Seoul until further notice, and switch my blog timer over to GMT +9. When I visit Hong Kong, I may reflect that in my status. But when I do return to California, my location will simply go blank, and the time stamp will go to GMT.

Now, back to the novel.

A shout-out to Grandpa Warren

2008-11-06T02:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I took a quick bullet train trip to Daejeon, to visit a decent science museum there. The museum had an outdoors exhibit area showcasing some older military equipment, and while I normally don't show much interest in war machinery, this exhibit certainly caught my attention.

This is the North American F-86F Sabre. It was one of the first jet fighters to see service, and served the US Air Force during the Korean War. During the war, Sabre pilots shot down 792 MiG-15's while losing only 78 of their own. This example, however, is not a USAF example, but flew for the South Korean Air Force between 1955 and the late 1960s before being replaced by the F-5; South Korea had to make do with P-51 Mustangs and other prop planes during the war itself (and had been dragged into the war with no real air force at all).

For Sarah, the F-86 is important, because her maternal grandfather, Warren, was a USAF pilot during the Korean War, busy shooting down those Soviet MiG's. Warren is the one who inspires Sarah to take an interest in aviation, after countless stories of his service in the Korean War and all sorts of weird facts about the F-86, the MiG-15, and the Gloster Meteor, the British Royal Air Force's own jet fighter in the Korean War.

I loved being reminded of Grandpa Warren and his service here in Korea - as well as Sarah herself and her own service over the Korean (and other nations') skies, though in a very different capacity.

As I returned to Daejeon's train station to start my return to Seoul, I was able to get the updates from the US presidential race, with Barack Obama confirmed as the winner. Both Sarah and I should be rejoicing, as W has been horrible to both the LGBT community and the economy (especially Sarah's employer), and Obama will certainly make improvements. However, the enthusiasm has been severely dampened, as the South Korean governmental interference in US politics, in the form of California's gay marriage ban, is apparently successful, though the last time I checked, some votes still needed to be counted, it's still quite close, and the final word is not out yet.

Update

2008-11-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

I am in Seoul, most likely until the New Year.

Not much to say, other than that my dinner scene with Sarah, which takes place right here in Seoul, is coming along very nicely.

I have taken a few liberties as I wrote it. First, I am assuming that Barack Obama wins the US presidency, though barely, and that California bans gay marriages. (I sincerely hope I am wrong on the latter.) Second, I am picking up my car and taking Sarah to dinner later this week on a rainy day, even though I don't expect rain this week, and I won't even have my car until around the end of the month. And lastly, I am putting a Thai restaurant on the top floor of Lotte Department Store in Jamsil, even though in reality, there is no Thai restaurant there. (Lotte's main store in downtown DOES have a very nice Thai place, and I decided to simply move it over to Jamsil.)

Looking forward to finishing the scene up soon, and learning a lot about Sarah in the process. And we have to also set up our next dinner - in Hong Kong!

Coming back to Seoul

2008-10-30T06:53:00.001-07:00

I just arrived in Seoul, to resume my routine, which had to be interrupted to allow me to return to Los Angeles and work for a week. I'm very relieved to be back; I blogged about the frustrations of being back home in my personal blog.

Now, back to my journey back to Seoul. No luck with Sarah today. My flight out of Los Angeles was delayed, so I don't think I flew anywhere close to Sarah. Moreover, my flight took an unusually northerly route, through Anchorage, Nome, the Diomedes, Siberia, and Sakhalin, in order to find weaker headwinds. A United flight (or any other US-flagged flight) would not have been able to file the flight plan that my Asiana pilots had filed, because it involved flying through North Korean air traffic control sector, something US aircraft are not allowed to do. And no luck finding a United aircraft when I landed at Incheon Airport, and certainly no tall redhead flight attendants.

Now, I need to get back to my dinner scenes with Sarah. Once they are done, I can move on to something more tangible - like a sex scene that will find its way to the actual storyline. I hope that Seoul (and hopefully, the rest of South Korea, and maybe even Hong Kong) will continue to give me inspirations in the most unexpected of places.

I tried to bring a bit of my own self and some transgender-related stuff to Seoul, but all I could pull off was a book - She's Not There by Jennifer Boylan. It should also serve as a good inspiration source.

Some thoughts before resuming Seoul

2008-10-27T13:03:00.001-07:00

I'll be back to Seoul, and back to my meditation regimen, before I know it. And as I do some background philosophical readings on spirituality and other good stuff, several thoughts cross my head, and some are definitely relevant to Sarah.

Most modern religions tend to frown on sexuality, as a source of all sorts of sinful behavior, and suppress it at any cost. This is especially true of Christianity and Islam. Even Buddhism, at least of the Jogye Sect which controls 90% of South Korea's Buddhist activity (and therefore pretty much the only Buddhist brand I am personally exposed to), suppresses sexuality by requiring monks to be celibate. But the philosophy that I am reading up on calls for a different approach to sexuality, one that sees sex as more of a life force. That's why sexy motifs are found in some Hindu temples. And not only is sex drive part of the vital force that keeps a human being going, but it also literally creates a new life. In particular, the ability of a woman to take in sperm from outside and create a fully independent life form must be respected and revered. Used wisely, sexuality can do lots of wonderful things. The key is to approach sexuality from the angle of holistic energy, as opposed to a mere biological function.

In conjunction with sexuality and the need to see it beyond biology, gender requires the same approach. Humans are born male and female, biologically (genetically, chemically, or otherwise). But beyond the biological sex and the brain's gender identity, there are many other factors at play. Everyone has a combination of male and female energy and qualities. It's perfectly fine for a woman to possess qualities that are masculine in nature, such as being aggressive or outspoken. It's also perfectly fine for a man to be introspective or nurturing, qualities that show the female energy. One's true gender must take all these aspects into account, and in the end, a given human being is neither completely male nor completely female, but a good mix of both.

And these approaches to sexuality and gender are what I need to take into Sarah and myself. Sarah is a good mix of both male and female qualities. Born as a boy named Sanford, and capable of fathering a future child, Sarah nevertheless has many female qualities, from her innate identity to her ability to care for her customers. Sarah has been happy to completely embrace her female qualities. At the same time, she also develops an appreciation for her male biology and past, as well as her analytical qualities, which can definitely be considered traditionally male. It's a great thing that I made Sarah a flight attendant; not only does it showcase Sarah's female qualities such as nurturing and presentation, but her male qualities, especially those that revolve around aviation, don't go wasted either. I need to also make sure that I see myself in the same way, as a mix of male biology, female identity, and qualities of both genders.

When I fly back to Seoul, I will fly Asiana again. My flight is Asiana 201, which leaves from Los Angeles daily, flying over San Francisco before arriving in Seoul at 6:30 PM the next day. As I pass San Francisco, I will be joined by another flight: United 893, a daily service from San Francisco that arrives in Seoul around the same time too. It will be a special experience to have my flight, and Sarah's, cross the Pacific together in close proximity. When I land in Seoul, I'll surely look for a tall redhead in a navy blue coatdress, at the immigration check lines.

My continuing meditation will also mean that I will return to Seoul periodically well into the future. As I will be an elite-level customer at United from now on, I will be eligible for a 25% mileage bonus every time I fly - but only on United, US Airways, and some Lufthansa flights. My future Seoul tickets will therefore more likely be on United, through San Francisco; I will certainly look forward to flying *with* Sarah on the same plane, instead of side-by-side.

Biological basis for transsexualism?

2008-10-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

A research in Australia, involving over a hundred male-to-female transpersons, suggests that there may be a biological/genetic basis to being transgender, just like being gay.

BBC

Specifically, the study suggests that a longer androgen receptor gene, which is known to interfere with the supply of testosterone, plays a critical role in fetal development, and causes a more female brain/identity development in a male embryo.

This may be the latest in a series of similar findings. And plans are to replicate the experiment with even larger population samples, just to be sure.

Nevertheless, the religious establishment will continue to attack the transgender population, especially in such backward places as Poland, Central America, and Saudi Arabia. Some governments will go as far as interfering with transpeople outside their own borders, as South Korea currently does in the US. No amount of scientific fact will deter these bastards and their hatred, and I will fight them to the bitter end.

Comment moderation is on

2008-10-26T02:23:00.000-07:00

I normally believe in as much free speech as possible, including on my blogs, unless outright hate speech is involved.

However, the recent day or two over at my other blog has led me to turn on comment moderation there - and here as well.

A right-wing extremist ethnic Korean, based in Boston, with an intense hatred of Barack Obama and any other "Communist" (his label for anyone who does not buy the agendas of the Republicans in the US, and/or their puppets Grand Nationals in South Korea), has been spamming my blog with nonsense comments showcasing extreme hatred of Mexicans, gays, liberals, and even non-Republican Americans. I loved having him spam away - as I was able to gather all the crap the South Korean right-wingers believe in, even without trying, and showcase their stupidity to the world. But he has now worn out my welcome.

South Korea's government and Grand Nationals, through the Unification Church, have been able to buy lots of influence in US politics. They started the rumor about Obama being a Muslim extremist. They funded the McCain campaign and California's gay marriage ban; after all, they can't allow California's homosexuals to live in peace and corrupt the Korean-American neighbors (especially their teenage kids!) into the homosexual lifestyle. While it appears that the gay marriage ban will pass (though only after intense misleading negative campaigning), the McCain presidency will be much harder to pull off. President Obama will never forgive the Grand Nationals over this.

Now, you may ask, why am I up at 2:30 AM all PO'd? I'm not PO'd - I was just too busy writing the Seoul dinner scene with Sarah, and had stopped for a quick look at my emails and my blog. The scene is going very well - and already, both Sarah and I have made choice comments about the South Korean conservative involvement in US politics, though we are trying to make the best of the situation by concentrating on other topics.

And of course, I will also blame the jet lag. Coming back to Los Angeles, only to go back to Seoul a week later, certainly takes a toll. As my current return to Los Angeles is only temporary, I am not even bothering to make major efforts to adjust to the time difference, as I have to do it all over again soon anyway. I am also appreciating Sarah's own time zone travels, as she will have to change a bunch of time zones every few days.

Dinners with Sarah

2008-10-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, they are in plural. I decided that I will write TWO dinner scenes between myself and Sarah. We will have dinners in both Seoul and Hong Kong.

My past month of meditation in Seoul gave me some good down time to think about Sarah and her likes/dislikes, and I got quite a few inspirations from throughout Seoul. I need to start writing these down into a dinner scene format, while I can still brainstorm.

Now that I am temporarily back in Los Angeles - and getting very outraged at the political developments in California and the US (courtesy of South Korean government funding, at that) - I need to start writing the scenes, if only to distract myself for a bit. Otherwise, it's several more days until my departure back to Seoul, and I won't make it that long. I will start on the Seoul dinner scene immediately; for the Hong Kong scene, I will probably write it in Hong Kong when I get there.

The Seoul scene is already sketching out quite nicely in my brain. Sometime mid-afternoon, I will head out to Gimpo Airport to rent a midsize car for a week, and drive immediately to the Shilla near downtown, where Sarah is staying. The goal is to have a nice chat in the car, as we drive over to Jamsil for a dinner (and to share our pasts - Jamsil was to me what London was to Sarah). We will spend time shopping together after dinner as well, before returning to Sarah's hotel room, where she will show me some things that relate to her flight attendant work, as well as a one-year temporary passport (which means her surgery is scheduled sometime in the near future). Sarah will probably nag me quite a bit, between my recent posts on this blog regarding her anatomy and my resemblance to her wife Kirsten in just about all aspects.

The Seoul scene should happen sometime mid-November on a rainy day, which will explain why we'll be staying indoors pretty much. I will assume that Barack Obama is the President-elect, and that California has passed its gay marriage ban; some choice political remarks will be made over these developments. I'll make sure to play some Sarah McLachlan in the car's CD player - so that Sarah will enjoy the ride together. Sarah should wear a forest green raincoat that matches her eye color; under it, she will sport Sanford's plaid shirt as a minidress, with a skinny belt to accentuate her waistline. I'll probably show up dressed in all black (which will lead Sarah to nag me a bit, as I look like going to a funeral) - in an Ally McBeal-style miniskirt suit, just like Kirsten.

As for the Hong Kong scene, I have a few ideas on how to proceed, but I don't want to go ahead until I am actually there and experiencing the city in person.

It should be a very therapeutic experience writing the two scenes.